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Scared

I have always considered it a good thing that the world is getting smaller. That technology is helping us become ever more aware of what is happening in other Countries and other cultures. I have enjoyed traveling relatively freely through that world, experiencing first hand the openminded, easygoing welcome of those whose Country and culture I visited.
And as long as I behaved respectfully, it never mattered that I grew up in a different religion, that my skin had a different color, that my native language to their ears was a bunch of impossible sounds. Nor did it matter that I was taller than most of them, had different ideas than they were used to, and often asked different questions than most.
Ultimately each and every one of these ways in which I found myself different from them, was good for a giggle, if not a laugh!

I have always felt truly sorry for those who were living in sad circumstances under often fast changing dictatorial regimes. I have failed to understand why there hardly ever was an outcry about those type of situations in the rest of the ever smaller world.

But the world can only get as small as the events that are picked up by the media outlets. And as long as the media picks and choses what to report on, rather than presenting every event that we ~ as humanity; as people all over the world ~ need to know about (whether we necessarily want to or not), the world we perceive will have gaping holes in it.
A sort of black holes that we are unable or unwilling to explore.

And whenever a dictator came to power, it was usually in one of those far away black holes of the world. And while the fact that this happened might make it to the eight o’clock news, the results, the agony of those trapped in that painful situation usually were not.

But today things are different.

Today we are seeing a dictator’s rise to power in that part of the world that is well covered by the media; the Western world.
The type of personality, the ill-founded ideas, the lack of foresight as to the results of his actions; all of it is out in the open for the entire world population to see.
And as with many abusive relationships, the first thing this new dictator seems to be doing is to isolate the Country. Walls are put up, and travel is made more difficult. And with that comes his need for a scapegoat. In our ever smaller world he clearly had no problem identifying one; and so now he can pitch the “us versus them” theme, isolating the Country even further.
Already he has made known that the media should only report on his truth, rather than the factual truth…

The rest of the world is looking on at this dictatorship in the making. Aghast at what they are seeing. Following the events minute by minute, day by day. Wondering what it will take for the abused ~ those who live in that Country ~ to rise up. To stand up and say enough is enough!
What are they waiting for?

At the same time uncertain as to what is coming next.
Even though we are living in different Countries far away from these events, we are affected by them; emotionally, but also in the backlash of how we now are perceived in a world that is by no means as big as it once was.

And I have to say ~ even though I am not scared easily ~ there is a fast growing global uncertainty. And travel doesn’t feel as safe anymore (independent from the security measures at airports all over the world) as it once was. A new kind of apprehension is palpable when meeting new people, new cultures…

Today I have to admit: I’m scared.
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Dark times

Everything has its cycle. Day and night, the moon, the seasons and the sun. And the same is true for our lives, and even cultures. A culture builds and builds, until at some point the scales tip, and often in a relatively short period of time a series of events occurs that bring it down. At first almost unnoticed; as whatever is happening is following the known, even valued process or the law. Things are down in the way ‘we do things’. “We are doing what is right”. But right for who? And is there a lack of flexibility when we hold on to possibly outdated processes and laws; no matter how much they have brought us in the past; no matter how much we have always valued them?
And then suddenly it becomes clear that we, as a culture, are no longer at the top of our game. Somehow other cultures, groups or people have taken over those things that where had such great strength to offer to the world; and we find ourselves on the dark side of the cycle.

The ‘night side’.

It is not necessarily a bad place to be, but it is vastly different from all that we have experienced before. When we look at the cycles of cultures one may even say that experiencing the dusk turning to night of that culture during our lifetime is a fairly rare event. The cycles of cultures tend to take any number of centuries, so being there, in that culture, right at the tipping point, is by no means a ‘given’.

But when we are there, right when that tipping point occurs, does also mean that we are in a position not only to witness it as it happens, but more than that we are in a position to direct it. To make it happen perhaps even faster than it would have on its own accord; or to prevent it from happening for another couple of hundred years.
After all, culture as defined by anthropologist E.B. Tylor, it is "that complex whole which includes knowledge, belief, art, morals, law, custom and any other capabilities and habits acquired by man as a member of society.” In other words, it is us!

In the past this tipping point has often coincided with a breakdown in communications. Either because of distances, because things taking place that would prevent efficient communication, like wars, or because that which was communicated from the top down ~ from the governments to the people ~ no longer resonated as true, logical, fair, or just to those governed by it. Thus creating unrest.
Eventually it would depend on the quality of the man (or woman) at the top which way the scales would tip.
Was he/she a good person? Fair and truthful? An ethical person wanting the best for all involved? Or was he/she a tyrannical person, dominating, prone to lying, and greedy? A corrupt, immoral person just wanting the best for him/herself?

The good person may well extend the bright time ~ or day time ~ of that particular culture, where as the tyrannical person may tip the scales to the dark time ~ or the night time ~ of that culture.

And as I said, the night side of the cycle is not necessarily a bad place to be. After a hard day’s work, we may be looking forward to the dark of night in which we rest and recuperate. In a sense the same is true for any cycle, even in the cycle of cultures that takes hundreds of years to complete…
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Ideas

We all have ideas. Some may be very practical, others may be more ‘out there’ or even be considered fantasy. We have ideas about what we want to do, or perhaps what we most certainly don’t want to do. We have ideas that we have grown up with; arguably the ideas our parents have passed on to us.
And we have ideas that are uniquely ours. Ideas that may start from our dreams, our ideals; and if we have the patience to just let them form, we may find that those are truly ideas that are ‘outside of the box’.

Whatever our ideas are, and wherever they originate from, there are always many ways to look at them. Each idea has multiple aspects, many facets; and it almost always depends on where we ourselves are coming from to determine which aspect of that particular idea we will see at that precise time.
This means that it can be fun to take an idea ~ any idea ~ and to, in our mind’s eye, observe it from any and all directions we can muster! It will give us different perspectives, and possibly new inspirations. And even when we can not truly envision all of the aspects of that particular idea; even if it becomes a mind game ~ sort of a ‘what if’ game ~ it takes us out of our (thinking) pattern…

And all of us step out of our thinking patterns in slightly different ways, seeing different aspects of that one idea. So by sharing the aspects we see of that idea, and the new lines of thought ~ the new visions that gives us ~ we can help others see the idea with ‘new eyes’. And ultimately help others see the world around us with ‘new eyes’.
Help ourselves and others to see ourselves with ‘new eyes’.

Personally I like to be inspired to see the world through ‘new eyes’; to see multiple aspects of just one idea. Even if that means that the way I look at things is a little quirky. I also like to share different ways of looking at things with others; I like to write about it, and talk about it.
I like to gain different perspectives, and will sometimes go out of my way in order to explore not just the idea, but what else is there…
What does it have to tell us?

Then suddenly it can become apparent that even the most fixed ideas have any number of different sides, different aspects to it!
So perhaps it is not the idea that is fixed, as much as it is the person coming up with it…

That being said, now seems to be a good time to explore further. To un-box ourselves and our ideas. To be inspired, open-minded dreamers who dream big and come up with grand ideas and truly innovative ways to look at the world!
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Return of the light

It is that time of year again when the light returns.
Whether we look at it from the physical, seasonal perspective of the Winter Solstice or from the perspective of the celebration of Christmas; these last days of the year are marked by the return of the light; or Light as the case may be.

With that, it starts a time of new beginnings. The most obvious one the beginning of the New Year. And that often spills over into our lives when we start the year with our New Year’s Resolutions; our decisions to make the New Year even better than the old one has been; to set out to become an even better person as we have been up to now in our lives…

With the physical return of the light on the Winter Solstice, our vital energy starts building again, enabling a greater focus on everything we want to accomplish over the next year. At the same time the days are growing longer again, literally shedding more light on just about anything we focus at so that we can see it with more clarity.
With the return of the Light as we celebrate Christmas, the inspirational Light returns. This is the Light that guides us ~ and while some may see this Light as outside of themselves, others will experience it as the inner connection to the highest counterpart of themselves. As this Light returns, it brings us closer to the (higher) wisdom we need to make the best, the wisest decisions in order to move ahead on our personal paths.

It means that just over a couple of days, both the physical light as well as the inspirational Light come into our lives to give us that opportunity to set our goals for the New Year ~ whether these goals are personal or even global. Independent from our drive to come up with the best New Year’s Resolutions, or whether we have given up on those entirely (as we tend to forget about them, sometimes as early as January 2nd when ‘real life’ begins again), we are pushed to look ahead, to make plans and set goals.

The timing gives us all the tools to see clearly what we want to do, and why. It gives us the light and clarity to envision the structure through which we will achieve the goals we set out to achieve…
This makes this time of year ~ on top of all of the celebrations ~ a truly productive time of year as well. Even if you just use it to create a little list of the ideas and plans that come up so you can revisit them later.
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The Christmas Spirit

It is the season! When walking the streets late afternoon and looking into the well-lit homes, Christmas trees are appearing one by one. And whether they are ‘fake trees’ chosen to battle the cost of the ‘real’ equivalent, or rather to save the environment, or whether they are the ‘real deal’ spreading the unmistakable scent of the forest ~ it truly doesn’t matter. What matters is the light it brings into our homes and our hearts.

And so, come December, the short days and long, dark nights are countered by a multitude of lights!

In some homes this goes together with a pile of Christmas presents underneath the tree. Others may have celebrated Santa’s arrival earlier this month. After all, even with Santa’s ‘super-powers’ he cannot be everywhere all at once…

It is all part and parcel of The Christmas Spirit.

In a sense The Christmas Spirit then becomes kind of a catch all phrase for that very special time at the end of the year. That time when we celebrate the return of the light. For some that may resonate more from a perspective of the Yule Tide, or of the Winter Solstice, while for others Christmas day has great appeal. It also coincides with the start of the new year; again whether we look at it from a seasonal perspective, or from the actual day and time the new year starts. And all of these things are neatly wrapped up in a ten day period; a time to get together with family and friends.

A time to spread the Light and the love. A time we keep bringing to our minds and hearts our yearning for peace ~ be it in ourselves, our families, our direct environments and communities; and ultimately throughout the world. After all, we all desire to prosper in the very best energies the Universe has to offer to us, just as we have to offer to each other: Light, Love and Peace.

And in that spirit, filled with all of the Light and Love the season has to offer, we can come up with the plans of those things we want to bring to fruition over our next year. Making this a perfect time to set our goals, both personal as well as our job-related goals. And a great time to dream ~ and dream big ~ about the things we would really like to do or experience; even though they may seem out of reach for now…

In that way, when we bring The Christmas Spirit to life, we are certain to set ourselves up to experience the very best in our lives and in our world!
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Winter Weather

It is that time of year again. The leaves have fallen off the trees, the days are almost at their shortest. And depending on where you are at, the weather may be anything from dreary to plain nasty. Although in some areas it can also be nice and clear, and probably very cold.
It is the type of weather the that seems to invite us to get ourselves a warm drink, and to curl up on the couch with a good read. To enjoy the warmth and the light ~ the entire atmosphere ~ of our home environment. In a sense one could even say it is a time to rest before all kinds of activities start happening again…

These last few days of Fall, when the Winter weather has already set in, are precious in that respect. They signal a time of preparation in the cycle of the seasons. Not the preparation for the next year as we find during the Winter months, but more a preparation of ourselves. All that needed to be done before Winter has been done, and although the Winter weather has taken hold, the Winter energy is not quite there, giving us a little time to sit down, to take a deep breath, and to center in that point of Light within. Giving us time to to listen to that inner voice as it tells us what a great job we have done this past year. A time of quiet reassurance that we are indeed right where we need to be on our personal paths, and from that perspective allowing ourselves that little pause to look around and observe where we are at without the immediate need to take action on any of it.

For some of us this means to literally sit back and enjoy the warm drink. For others it can be more restful to seek out the storm while walking on the beach, enjoying the white, foamy heads that appear on each wave as it rolls onto shore where it releases the foam to the wind and the sand.
Whatever activity ~ or non-activity as the case may be ~ is most to your liking in during these last weeks before the Winter Solstice; be sure to set aside some time to do them. Even if it feels like you are indulging yourself for no reason; treating yourself without ‘having earned it’.

Because in the grand scheme of things you have earned this little time to just be with ‘you’ and the early Winter weather. And permitting yourself that little time to step back and enjoy ~ even if it is just an afternoon ~ will truly prepare you for the new energies the Winter Solstice will bring in…
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Seeing and hearing

Sight and hearing being senses, we use them to become aware of what is going on in our environment. This awareness then can be a warning system ~ we can see or hear something that alarms us ~ that can keep us out of trouble. Of course we also use our other senses to that effect; smelling or tasting something; not to forget our sense of touch through which we can feel whether things are right ~ and safe ~ or not.

Yet seeing and hearing stand somewhat apart from the other senses as we use them most often in our every day lives. Hearing sounds ~ something that is almost a continuous thing nowadays ~ and when we want to tune out the sounds of our environment, we start listening to music. And through our sight we get all kinds of input all day long. And when we find nothing much is happening, there is always the TV with 24/7 input…

It begs the question how much of what we are seeing and hearing in any given day in our lives do we truly observe and listen to? In other words, at which point does seeing become observing, or does hearing become listening?

For many things we encounter in life, the casual seeing and hearing is sufficient in order to keep us out of trouble, or even safe. However in personal contact raising our senses a notch to observing and listening can give us a lot more information!

Suddenly there are tone of voice and inflection, there is the choice of words that when truly listened to can tell us more than the actual story being told. And then there is the body language of the other person that let’s us know how that person is feeling about whatever is conveyed or going on…
As soon as we permit ourselves to truly observe and listen to the people ~ but also to our pets, and even to the ‘regular everyday sounds’ ~ around us we become more aware.

More aware of our environment, and more aware of our interaction with that environment. And ultimately more aware of who we are, what we (desire to) do, and what we have to offer to the world around us…

Something else that happens as we permit ourselves to become more aware, is that we start to live more in this very moment ~ rather then living yesterday’s memories, or the things we may be worrying about that might happen tomorrow.
The more acute our senses become, the more aware we become, and the more we are living in that magical moment we call ‘now’.
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Garbage

In today’s world there is a lot to do about garbage.
On one hand the actual garbage; the stuff that is broken or we no longer need that we want to dispose of ~ with the question of how much of it we can or should recycle. On the other hand the amount of balderdash we tend to spew into the world. Non-productive sounds, words, messages, sometimes disguised as ‘news’ are washing over us on a day to day basis.

It begs the question why we are okay with that.

Looking at the ‘stuff’ we want to dispose of for whatever reason ~ whether it is broken, no longer needed, or just something that was fun for a while but now we are done with is ~ one could say that we are living in a ‘trashy’ society. We create so much stuff that we feel we have to have, that often is really not giving us anything more than the pleasure we felt when we bought it. Only to find that it truly is not adding anything significant to our lives; and before long it is in the way and we dispose of it.

As to the verbal garbage we are bombarded with ~ and perhaps enter into making small-talk or gossiping with others ~ why are we listening to it? What makes us spend our time and energy engaging in stories of other people’s ~ often celebrity’s ~ lives, rather than creating our own life stories? Why do we accept that anything ‘newsworthy’ is twisted into something that is either exciting or scandalous; not because it is true, but rather because it sells ‘the papers’ (or whichever channel we use to keep ‘up to date’).

Are we really that apathetic that we are not paying attention anymore to what is going on, unless it is brought to us with that outrageous quality added to it that grabs our attention?

And why do we need to be seemingly involved in other people’s lives? Don’t we have our own lives to live? Do we really fail to respect ourselves and others to that extend?
Really??

It may be time to re-evaluate where we want to spend our time, energy, and yes our money.
To start thinking before we buy anything we don’t need. To start living our own lives before we broadcast our ~ often biased ~ opinions of other people’s lives…

Perhaps the best antidote to the garbage in our lives ~ be it literal or verbal ~ is to take a step back and start using our common sense again.
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Stuck

Have you ever felt stuck?
Perhaps even after having given it thought, after taking action to move forward, or even after taking steps to release the patterns and habits that make you feel stagnant; and you still feel stuck?

It is that very point where you feel you have done all you can do, and while you may be able to move forward a little bit, it seems like you never truly start moving again in the chosen direction of your path. A point that is often followed by frustration, or even indignation; after all, you have done all that was needed and here you are still not freely moving forward the way you intended or envisioned.

At one time or another we all seem to reach that point in our lives. Even when we have taken all the steps and have done everything right…

There seems to be something missing in the process…

The one thing that is quite natural, yet doesn’t help us in the least is when we have worked so hard to get ‘unstuck’, and the moment we start moving again we also start looking back. Looking at how those old patterns did at one point in time get in the way. Remembering how those old patterns had started in our lives to begin with. Recalling all of the situations where they have obstructed our progress…
And before we realize what is happening, we have negated all of our hard work, and brought the unproductive patterns that get us stuck right back into our lives.

In other words, we have to trust ourselves that the work we have done to get moving again is working, is the right thing to do, and will bring the results we are after.
Without looking back.

It is like writing that part of our story down in a book that we can then close. That story then becomes history (or ‘herstory’, as the case may be). It becomes an event that has happened in our lives; an experience that we have learned from, a process that has allowed us to grow stronger as we did the work to come to a solution. And while we can be ~ and perhaps should be ~ grateful for what it has given us, there is no need to look back.
We have moved through it, it is now part of our past.

With that realization we can now focus on whatever we want to make happen today. We can make plans for our (immediate) future.
And as soon as we find ourselves moving forward again we can heave a sigh of relief. We did it! We are ‘unstuck’ and moving into our next adventure!
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Farewell

Throughout our lives there are many times that we bid ‘farewell’ to people and places. Like when we move from one place to another, we say farewell to the home we have lived in ~ sometimes for many years ~ creating the space in our lives in which we can welcome the new house, and the new chapter in our lives. The same is true for finishing High School and moving on to the College of our choice. And as a group of friends scatter in order to start that new chapter in each of their lives, we bid farewell to them. Even changing jobs can have that effect on us; saying our goodbyes to our colleagues while looking forward to that new job, the new challenge, and the hopefully new and higher pay…

The same is true for place that we have been.
When we have spent time in a place that we particularly like ~ even if it is just for a vacation ~ leaving that place can bring a certain sense of sadness to us, as we are aware that we are saying goodbye to a place that has been good to us. A place that we may or may not return to over time; even when right at that moment we are confident we will.
Even in the times of old when our Tribe would travel north in Spring in order to spend Summer in their Summer camp, and travel south come Fall in order to escape the brunt of the Winter.

It is therefore a sentiment that is as old as the ages; that sadness mixed with the realization of how good a time it has been in this place, with this company…

No wonder that there are many ways to wish us well as we start our journey away from our familiar surroundings, and familiar faces.
From ‘So long!’, ‘Later!’, ‘Bye!’, to ‘Be safe!’, ‘Be well!’, or ‘Take care!’. And there are as many or more blessings like:
“A sunbeam to warm you,
A moonbeam to charm you,
A sheltering angel, so nothing can harm you.”
Or this one:
“May the road rise up to meet you.
May the wind be always at your back.
May the sun shine warm upon your face;
the rains fall soft upon your fields and until we meet again.”

But perhaps there is no wish so all encompassing as the Sailor’s wish:
"Fair winds and a following sea.”

Whether it is for our next trip, our next adventure; or for that last journey when we cross the waters to the other side, when it comes to saying farewell, I wish you fair winds and a following sea.
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Old to new

In the Netherlands, midnight on New Year’s Eve, the New Year is greeted with loads of fireworks. It is according to a tradition that the noise will scare away all evil spirits so that they will be left behind in the old, giving everybody the chance to start the new year fresh and clean.

And while I don’t care much for all the noise, I can appreciate the ritual.

It is part of our make-up to not like changes of whatever kind a whole lot. Not even when we know that the changes will bring improvements into our lives. Our immediate response isn’t as much that we are changing from old to new, but more like we are in a transition from old to bad.
And granted, when we are holding any changes at bay for long enough, chances are that whatever truly need to happen in our lives may not come easy. The longer we ignore changes, the greater the needed changes will com in with a bang!

And perhaps when it comes to that point, the ‘new’ that is coming in will appear to be bad. Evil even.

Maybe even so bad that the whole world will be in an uproar!
As such, whoever bad or evil we perceive is not a whole lot more than a messenger uncovering the things that need changing. The problem is that at this point truly everything that should be changed is uncovered all at once.
And then all hell breaks loose!

As has happened so often throughout history, there is a call to kill the messenger.

Now I have no bone to pick in recent events. Although they are foreboding with elections coming up where I live in just a few short months. And no, I don’t like the messenger, nor his message.

What is clear though, it is beyond time for changes. Changes in the way we view our societies, changes in our attitudes ~ both toward ourselves as well as toward others ~ changes in how we structure and organize our communities.

And that is the easy part.

The hard part comes with the changes in our personal lives; the inner changes. The respect we pay ourselves. The sense of friendship toward others, and the discarding of blaming anyone and everyone for the results of our choices ~ both in our lives as well as in our societies.

It seems clear that we are moving from old to new; not gently and evenly, but indeed with a bang!
And we can make the best of it by making the changes that are knocking on the doors of our own homes, of our own hearts…
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Connected

I can stand and watch swarms of starlings fly for hours, just wishing dusk won’t change into darkness quite so fast. Seeing them fly in huge numbers, never even touching each other, yet still flying like some grand choreographer is directing each and every single one of them is truly an awesome sight!
And most strikingly, that obvious awareness of where each individual bird is going, when it is changing direction ~ as soon as these large numbers take to the skies, each individual bird is connected to the whole.

It is like how each drop of water is connected to all other drops of water in order to form the ocean, albeit a bit more visible as we hardly ever see a drop of water as an individual entity.

This means that whether we are aware of it or not, we are part of a group consciousness to the point at which even the smallest thought or action affects the whole.

We can demonstrate this to ourselves by consciously smiling to people we pass on the street. Total strangers. And it may not happen with every person we see, but chances are that about five minutes in to our experiment people smile back at us immediately. Of course the same is true when we ‘broadcast’ grumpiness, but why try? Isn’t the world a better place when we are smiling at each other?

So, this is the nice part of the principle. The part that we pretty much all can agree on.

Taking it one step further it immediately becomes confrontational because that would mean that when things are taking place we don’t want to happen ~ because we are part of a group consciousness called ‘humanity’ ~ we too have had a part in it. Perhaps not quite as focused as the events leading up to the end result, but still… It means that our frustrations about the laundry having landed next to the laundry basket instead of in it ~ again ~ add to the frustrations of millions that can eventually set a chain of events in motion.
As such, even if we don’t like what is happening ~ even if that is happening at the other end of the world ~ we still have a part in it.

This being connected with all of humanity ~ and perhaps even with all of nature as well ~ means that it is incredible important to be balanced within ourselves. To be absolutely honest; even if it is just to ourselves. To transform our judgements, our angers, our shadows.
To become more and more aware of all people around us.
And by all means, smile at them!
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I hold you in Light

I hold you in Light
You who are traditional, liberal and you who are progressive
You who have voted and you who have not
You who are protesting and you who are cheering
I hold you in Light

I hold you in Light
You who are leaders, and you who are followers
You who make plans and foresee, and you who are easily surprised
You who take a stand, and you who draw a line in the sand
I hold you in Light

I hold you in Light
You who are fighting for a cause, you who are right and you who are righteous
You who are finding yourself in circumstances you cannot alter
You who are locked in a routine you don’t want to change
I hold you in Light

I hold you in Light
You who are struggling, you who are living day to day
You who are sailing smoothly through life
You who spend your time at home, and you who are out and about
I hold you in Light

I hold you in Light
You who have an open mind, and you who are biased
You who are loud and boisterous, and you who whisper truth
You who are unseen, and you who are in the spotlight
I hold you in Light

I hold you in Light
You who know it all and have seen it all
You who are ever searching and exploring
You who are truly celebrating life
I hold you in Light

I hold you in Light
You who are involved in the world, and you who inhabit the earth
You as an individual, a community, a culture
You as women and men, and you as humanity
I hold you in Light

I hold you in Light

For it is in Light
That acceptance and balance exist
In all colors and shapes and sizes
In factual truth and in personal truth
For it is in Light
That one light affects all others
Like the waves in the ocean
A loving glow that grows stronger
For it is in Light
That we are all connected
Like the drops in the ocean
A living web of Light on a living planet

I hold you in Light

Long drives

The other day I heard of someone mentioning that a two hour drive is a long drive. And there is no doubt that it is. However, whether we deem a drive to be long or short depends on many things.

At first there is the time it takes us to get to where we want to go. Some places are just around the corner, while other places take a bit of time to get there.
Second, a road trip taking scenic highways with hardly any other traffic on it may take us longer to get there, however it may feel like it was an easier drive.
Third, if we are really looking forward to events that are likely to happen ~ if we are filled with expectation of what lies ahead ~ the trip may seem a lot shorter than the actual time it takes us to get there. And by the same token, going home can have that same effect.
Fourth, if we are used to driving long distances, a couple of hours to go from one place to another may be a short drive. In our experience, that is.
Fifth, and perhaps most importantly; if we think that it will be a long, hard drive with lots of obstacles we will have to overcome ~ if we think that unfamiliar territory is hard to navigate and will take lots of time and energy on our part ~ chances are that even a relatively short one hour drive seems to be an endless challenge to us.

So, while the actual driving time can give us an idea as to how long a drive it will be going from where we are to where we want to go, it seems like there are many other factors that have just as big ~ if not a bigger ~ influence on our experience in actually getting from ‘A’ to ‘B’.

The same is true for our path through life.
As long as we feel that life has to be a struggle; that the ‘normal’ in life is that it is filled with obstacles, chances are that is what our experiences will be.
If we define our wishes and desires by excluding the things we don’t want to have or don’t want to happen in our lives, maybe we fail to see all the good things that are coming our way.

Perhaps it would be a good thing to approach life as if it is a scenic highway that we are driving in the sunshine ~ with hardly any traffic that could be hindering us in our progress ~ enjoying our freedom!
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Cravings

While we can crave many things at different points in our lives, craving specific and sometimes weird kinds of food seem to be most common.
The dictionary lists the craving for chocolate as a prime example.

The interesting thing is where the craving comes from; in other words, what makes us experience ~ and perhaps give in to ~ this specific craving at this moment.
The two big reasons are either emotional or bio-chemical.

From an emotional perspective we may feel that we have done something, reached some point where we really should reward ourselves with this special something. Or perhaps more so feeling a sense of discontent because of not doing what we set out to do ~ failing to achieve that goal we had set for ourselves ~ and therefore we can at least console ourselves by treating ourselves to that special something…

And while the celebration aspect of emotional cravings makes perfect sense and may even be a good way to honor our accomplishments, this is far less true for the consoling part of our emotional cravings.

Looking at bio-chemical reasons, our cravings may point us in an entirely different direction.
Suddenly that instant craving for chocolate may come up because we are lacking magnesium; which is actually very often the case. Taking this further, each specific ~ even weird ~ type of food; especially when it is something we normally wouldn’t feel like eating very often, may have a distinct vitamin or mineral that our bodies may need at that very moment.

This means that whichever way we look at it, it is a good idea to pay attention to our cravings. To ask ourselves whether the reason might be emotional, and if that is true, if it is because we are very happy about something, or rather because we feel the need to console ourselves. If we need that consolation, we may want to ask ourselves if we would want to go about that in a more fundamental, or even constructive manner; for instance through asking for help dealing with it.

If our cravings do not stem from our emotions, it makes sense to observe what our cravings have to offer us from the perspective of vitamins or minerals. Is our body trying to tell us that we are lacking something? For instance, could our tiredness be caused by such a lack of a vitamin or mineral, as opposed to ‘just being busy’? And is our body itself trying to solve this situation by instigate a craving for what it so desperately needs?
If that is the case, there may also be a way to handle the situation more constructively…

Either way, when we feel we are craving something, more often than not it is a signal from our bodies that tells us to take better care of ourselves…
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The way it is done

There are always certain chores and tasks that we do in a certain way ~ or perhaps at a certain time ~ just because it is the way it is done. It is therefore the way we have always done it, and it works fine; so why change it?

And in reality, if something does work for us, why change the way we are doing it?

On the other hand it does appear to be helpful to every once in a while evaluate what we are spending our time and energy on, how we are going about that, and why.
Not because we are doing something wrong, but more because sometimes we are doing things just because it is the way it is done.

This is especially true when we find ourselves spending a lot of time on something that, when we really start thinking about it, is not something we feel is a priority in our lives.
For instance, of course it is a good thing to do our grocery shopping. But is it something we want to spend time and energy on every day? Or would we rather do it once a week? Or even shop online and have it delivered?

The interesting thing is that if we were raised doing our grocery shopping a certain way, chances are we will do it in a similar manner when we are doing them for ourselves. Without truly questioning it, because it is the way it is done…
And when we start thinking about it there often are any number of things we do ~ or do not do ~ because of the way ‘it is done’…

Like getting busy with a hobby we may have; can we do that before all the work and chores are finished? Can we stop and smell the roses, or are there always other tasks that can be done ‘that are productive’. And can we pick that carrier we truly love, rather than going for a career path with a more or less guaranteed income?

Whether we run into any of those type of things or not, taking time to look at why we are doing certain things in a certain way may benefit us a great deal. Asking ourselves when we started doing the things we do in this manner, and so on.

We may discover that we have our priorities straight, but want to get things done more efficiently. Or we may find that there are things we are doing because our parents and perhaps even our grandparents were doing them ~ sometimes even in exactly the way we are doing them now…

Again, if that is totally working for us, there is no problem.
But perhaps we will find that what we are doing is not so much what we want to do in the way we want to do it, but rather that we are our parents’ and grandparents’ copycats, and that it is time to change our ways…
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Discontent

Do you know that feeling? That vaguely sensing there is something wrong without being able to tell what it might be? That sense of discontent, without having anything going on to be truly discontented about?

I ran into it upon finishing a five week course.
I had picked this particular course for both its interest as well as the fact that it would only be a five week course. A short time period that would fit in with other things that are going on in life. I was even a little bit put off when it started a week later than expected as the teacher felt he wanted to give us more information even before the course started; making it in effect a six week course. And as the course moved along it gave me a great deal of insight, which in turn sparked changes in attitude. And before I knew it those five weeks had passed and I was listening to the last class in the series.

And that is when it hit me, that feeling of discontent. That sense that right now good things started happening for me, I was abandoned. Left to fend for myself ~ something that hadn’t always worked out right for me in the past. So why was this happening to me? Again?

The feeling was neither logical, nor truly relevant. After all I was totally and fully aware of all of the changes I had already made in my (outlook on) life. Realistically these five or six weeks had already given me a lot more than I even anticipated when I started.
And I wanted a short course! I didn’t want to find myself having to take classes for months on end.
So, what is the problem?

If it wasn’t the course ~ and the teacher truly did a great job ~ than the only other part at play was me. Therefore the ultimate question became ”What is it in me that I am feeling discontented about?” Had I wanted to do more? Spend more time on it? Integrate all of the things I had learned more fully? And if so, what was stopping me from doing that now that the course has reached its end. After all, now that there was no longer the large amount of materials to go through, chances are I would have more time to do so. I could go back to specific parts in the materials as needed, and continue to move forward with what I had learned.
So what is the problem?

Often when something like this happens in our lives, chances are there is something about ourselves that we are not entirely happy with. And perhaps, when we realize this is happening, it is time to make a conscious effort to embrace all that we are ~ the ‘good’ and the ‘bad’ ~ and know that we are going just fine on this journey through life!
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Reasoning

Whatever story we tell ourselves or others; we all have a set of reasons behind it. We are reasoning ~ either with ourselves or with others ~ why we tell the story that way…

This makes the reasoning we have one of the most intriguing parts of our interaction! What reasons do we have ~ or do we give ourselves ~ to tell the story that specific way? And why?
Are we leaving parts of the factual truth out? Or are we embellishing the facts as they have happened? Do we stick to the same story, independent from who we are telling it to? Or are we telling different people different aspects of the story based on relationship to the situation or people involved?

It all seems to come down to the question: ‘Can we handle the truth?’

Can we handle telling the truth?
It often involves admitting all of the facts of what is going on; it requires us to take a good, brutally honest look at the situation and where we stand in it. Are we able and willing to do that? Or is it easier to just stick to that part of the truth we can handle, and leave the rest out?

Can the other person handle the truth?
Or do we feel we need to protect them from what is factually going on, and from all of the implications that come with it?

Whatever the reasoning, when two people involved in the same situation tell the story of that particular situation, chances are two entirely different stories are being told.
Part of that may be because of the extend of the emotional involvement ~ emotions can easily take over factual happenings in our experience. Another part can be how much we ourselves are willing to handle; and talking about it ~ telling the story ~ makes it real. And then there may be a part that is told for effect… A choice of words, or even a choice of which facts make it into that version of the story in order to generate a desired effect in to audience. For instance leaving things out in order to not let your audience be worried. Or making things sound slightly worse in order to make your audience feel sorry for you.

Whichever way we look at it, it leaves us with the why.
Why do we feel we have to tell a story from a perspective of effect the story will have, rather than from the clarity of the content we wish to relate?
Why are we reasoning that we are doing ourselves and those around us a favor by just telling them what we think or feel they can handle ~ and in the process leaving them short on the information they would need in order to take action…
What is our reasoning on that?
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Distracted

Usually, after I wake up, yet before I get up, I make a plan for the day. I consider it one of the perks of being self-employed to schedule my life this way, day by day. It enables me to go with the flow of energy that is most prevalent that day.
Anyway, that is how it works in theory.

No sooner do I reach the kitchen to feed the cats and make myself a cup of coffee, or I see the leaves of one of my favorite plants looking a little ‘droopy’, and I realize that it has been too long since I have watered the plants. And I decide to just do that right away so that I won’t have to come back to it later.
As I am watering the plants, I notice this box again. It contains all kinds of different little things ~ most of which can be tossed ~ that I need to sort through real quick. After that is done, at least then that box can be discarded and the space it has been taking up for far too long can be reclaimed. So as soon as I finished watering the plants, I get busy sorting through this box.
When that is done, I remember that there is also this bag of which I think I know what is in there, however, I’m not entirely sure. So Let’s just see…

By this time an hour has gone by, and I return to the kitchen to get myself that cup of coffee.

As I walk to my favorite chair ~ coffee in hand ~ the phone rings.
It turns out to be one of those unsolicited calls. The person calling asks me if this is a good time for me and I tell him he got two minutes to get his message across to me. This offends him, yet he tries to make it in his allotted time. I’m not buying. Not today anyway.

I check my emails ~ can’t resist to check Facebook as well ~ while drinking my coffee.
I post my blog, and decide to answer those emails that actually do need a response.

A quick look at the clock tells me that it is almost noon, so I may as well have some lunch before I get going on what I set out to do today. Eating a sandwich I figure that now that I am slightly off track anyway, I may as well wash that load of laundry. At least then that is done.

At the end of the day, it turns out that I only spend about an hours on what I intended to do this day. And it is not like I haven’t been busy; or even that I haven’t done anything productive… I have made myself quite useful, even if I say so myself!

I just got distracted.
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