Pointing fingers

It is easy to point fingers when something goes wrong. And often we are indeed quick to point out what went wrong, why it happened, and most of all who we feel is responsible. On numerous occasions we tend to place that responsibility outside of ourselves.

So, we are not cut off in traffic because we are multitasking, or even because we ourselves are in a hurry, but it is plain and clear the other person’s fault ~ and by the way, how dare they! When we are late, it is our companion’s doing as he/she always takes so much time to get ready. And on and on…

Somehow we feel that things are easier when we can look upon ourselves as being a good person, and when everything that doesn’t go as planned is done to us by others. When we are in no way responsible for it. When we can point fingers.

While there is some appeal in not being at fault ~ after all, if we are not at fault we don’t have to start looking at how we behave, act, react; in short live our lives. Consequently we don’t have to make changes in our attitudes, or in the way we handle the situations we encounter.
On the other hand, when we feel that everything that doesn’t go as we planned it ~ or even things that hurt us ~ are done to us out of the meanness of those around us, we could say we would be living in a pretty lousy world. And when it is entirely the other people who are at fault, then we would have no power to change any aspect of what is happening.

From that perspective one might say that as soon as we start pointing fingers, we are giving our power ~ our empowerment ~ away in the worst way! As soon as we point fingers we assume the role of being a victim without having a way out.

The more spiritual perspective says that we are responsible for our own path through life, and what ever situations or events we encounter on our path are there for us to gain experience, to learn and to grow from.
And while we may not always have chosen ~ or even be part of ~ the actual event, there is always something we can learn from it. Ultimately, how we handle it inside ourselves ~ where our attitudes and beliefs are concerned ~ will either show us the easy way out, or give us another opportunity to learn that particular lesson.

This does make the statement: “When we are pointing one finger at another, we are pointing three fingers at ourselves” food for thought…
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Seeking approval

In one way or another, we are all seeking approval. When we are very young we look for the approval of our parents. When we grow up we act to gain the approval of our peers. In interaction with others, we all too often measure our (self)worth by the amount of approval they are extending to us.
And perhaps the best, and from a certain perspective safest ways to feel validated and approved of, are ‘social media’.

Social media play into our want for instant gratification, and it gives this to us in a nice, concise form: the ‘like’. When we share (parts of) our lives on for instance Facebook, the number of friends our post reaches and the number of likes our post receives seem to not only show how well other people actually like that particular post, but also makes us feel good about ourselves. In other words, we feel like our (Facebook) friends are approving of what we are doing.
As we can post pretty much from anywhere, at any time; reactions to our post may start to come in immediately. Instant approval.

What we share usually is our own little niche.
Some people share the wonderful food that is just being served to them in their favorite restaurant, while others show their friends their healthy cooking skills. Some make social media their platform to protest politics, while others try and make the world a better place through thoughtful quotes, cute videos, and beautiful pictures.
In doing so, we not only seek approval from outside of ourselves, we direct precisely what we would like to be approved for…

And yet, in reality we are so much more than our presence on our preferred social medium!

It does bring up a couple of important questions.
Why are we looking outside of ourselves for validation? Why do we measure how well we are doing by what others think of the tiny tidbits of who we are that we share with them?
Wouldn’t it make more sense to evaluate how well we measure up to our own standards?

As long as we keep looking at (what we think) other people think of us as our approval rating or the measure of our success, we are denying ourselves the opportunity to be who we truly are.
When the things we say and how we say it are dictated by how well we think we are going to be accepted by those around us, we may not say what we think, but rather say what is socially acceptable in that particular situation.

In other words, as long as we choose to think, speak and act based on what what those around us do or say, we do not permit our true self to shine; we do not claim the empowerment we deserve.
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In the spotlight

There are some who really love to be in the spotlight! And whether they have something to share that would make the world a better place, or are just out to hear their own voice rambling on ~ to them that doesn’t matter, as long as that spotlight shines on them.

Most of us, however, won’t seek out the spotlight.
Whether we suffer from ‘stage fright’ or are uncertain whether we have something worthy to add to any situation, or just feel we are way more comfortable doing our own thing in our own way and our own space, without seeking an audience at all; somehow that spotlight doesn’t seem all that appealing to us.

It brings up an interesting perspective where those who consistently seek out the spotlight ~ even if at some point they have a valuable message to the world ~ after a while may just be blabbing their mouths. Anything to be in that spotlight! Where others who have truly worthwhile things to share may ~ for a variety of reasons ~ never make it to be in that spotlight, and therefore are never heard by a greater audience than those who personally know him or her.

In other words, those that are in the spotlight all the time may not have a whole lot worthwhile to say, while those who remain in the background can have a message that will change the world, making it a better place.

Living in a time when pretty much anything that is said by anyone is recorded and available through a variety of channels, it also shows that if we truly want to be well-informed, we probably should look a little further than the obvious channels; digging a little deeper in the information that is available… And perhaps also check what a person was saying and doing before the spotlight hit them…

But whether you crave being in the spotlight or find yourself in the spotlight reluctantly ~ once you have stood on that stage it changes things. It changes how you are perceived by the world and by those around you. It may even change how you look upon yourself and what you have to offer to the world.
And perhaps the best way to stay comfortable with all that is happening once you find yourself in the spotlight, is to counter the light shining on you by your own, inner Light.
By letting the spotlight and the inner Light merge, and spread, and bring a message of balance and healing to the world and to the universe.
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Inner reflections

If we start from the premise that we are first and foremost responsible for our own path through life, our own actions, communications, and thoughts, our own beliefs, and our own attitudes; then whatever happens in the world that touches us is a reflection of something inside ourselves.

At first glance this seems to place us in a perspective that is somewhat far fetched.
After all, how can a terrorist attack on a different continent in some far away Country be a reflection of something ~ a thought, an attitude, a belief ~ that is inside ourselves. Even if we are touched by the horror of it, and feel a great sense of compassion toward the victims.
But then again, it is not necessary the scale of events, yet more the energy of the events that is reflected. We may have been angry with the neighbors as they permit their dog to keep on barking endlessly; we may even have yelled at the dog and/or its owners. An action born out of frustration which exploded into an angry shout…

It is a perspective that says that when somebody ruffles our feathers, it is a reflection of something inside ourselves that we may feel a little bit uneasy about. Something we wish we would handle differently in our lives.
By the same token, when somebody would be angry at us, there might be part of ourselves that we are frustrated with. Whether it is about something that has happened to us long time ago that we are still not in balance with, or rather the way we present ourselves, or perhaps the way we fail to stand up for ourselves when it matters… In each and every case there is something going on inside ourselves that deserves a fresh look.

And taking an honest look at the things we wish we would do differently will then benefit us on many levels.
It will help us place situations and events in our lives in a proper perspective. It may bring the realization that while we could not stand up for ourselves effectively when we were young children, now, being adults, its s a different matter. And therefore, the situations that made us feel insecure ~ or were dangerous to us ~ as a child, can be handled differently.

And it is those inner reflections that, when looked at, and placed into a new perspective, can benefit us enormously as it offers us a way to use our own power to better our situation.
And chances are that when we change our inner selves ~ our attitudes, and our beliefs ~ the inner reflections are bound to become more and more positive.
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Flying south

The other day I finally heard geese fly south. I couldn’t see them as they were well above the clouds, but even from the sound of them I could make out that they had decided to move, rather than just flying from one place to the next to find food. I could just imagine how they had set their sights on warmer pastures with a more bountiful supply of food, warmer waters, and perhaps above all a stronger sun and longer days.

It really does sound like a very good alternative to the solution bears have for dealing with the short, cold days of Winter: hibernation. Although, as a child the perspective of hibernation would appeal to me more than going through the hard work of flying south, often for thousands of miles.
But now, every year Fall comes around, I start listening for the sounds of the high flying geese moving south. It will tell when Winter will set in; it may even give an indication whether the upcoming Winter will be a cold one, or if the mild weather will continue almost until Spring comes around.

For most people obligations like jobs and family not only will keep us in one place, but also will keep us in our regular day-and-night rhythm. Until we retire there is a slim chance we can ‘fly south’, or go for (a mild form of) hibernation.

But even when we would have that chance, would we take it?
Or are we, deep down inside ourselves, fond of the change of seasons? The cold Winter with its short days and long, dark nights. Followed by Spring with its bursting of new green, new life, and new opportunities. The come the seemingly endless warm Summer days, and the fiery display of colors as the leaves are turning. That time when we may hear the sounds of geese flying south…

Or is our urge to escape the dark, cold Winter more related to a need to slow down. To find a couple of months during which we can sit back, take time to relax. Finding time to reflect on the year gone by, and making plans for the future. Like a desire to step back from the busy schedules we keep all year around, so we can catch up on our rest. Slow down enough to enjoy some ‘alone time’…

In most cases it is most likely a little bit of both. On one hand the chance to escape the kind of weather we may not appreciate all that much, while on the other hand finding that time and space to reflect, relax, and ponder what has been and what has yet to come…

And sometimes we allow ourselves to fly south with those geese, while other times we just curl up on the couch with a book, sipping hot chocolate…
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