Reasons and Excuses

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We all have reasons to do certain things, and excuses why we don’t do other things.
And then there are those things that we have reasons for doing, and excuses why we won’t go there...

I have always considered this to be an interesting thing.
I can see why we need reasons to do something. I can see how we can have our reasons not to do something. But why do we need excuses? What do excuses give us that reasons do not?

An excuse makes the fact that we are not going to engage in whatever activity more palatable to someone else. It sounds way better when we say, sorry, I am too busy to do that right now, than it is to say, sorry, I don’t want to do that right now. Or even, sorry I don’t want to spend my time or energy doing that.
While it is okay to be too busy; it is not okay to not want to do it. So we use the excuse.

Understandable as this is, it does bring up the question why we need the other person to be okay with our decision...

Inherent in our use of excuses rather than reasons is the fact that we feel a need for approval from the other person to do or not do something.

When other people agree with us, approve of us, it validates us. It gives us a sense of esteem.
And this is a good thing, right?

Yes it is. Yet as much as this can motivate us to move ahead with what we are planning or doing, the need for approval of others can also hold us back. Even prevent us from reaching our personal goals, or go after our hearts desires...

And ultimately, that is where the problem with excuses lies.
If our need for approval from others makes us focus on excuses rather than on reasons to do or not do the things that may be important to us ~ we may very well miss out on the potentials that uniquely define who we are. Every time we go where we will find approval and agreement rather than personal fulfillment, we deny ourselves the expression of our reality ~ the expression of our core selves.

All in all it seems to me that it would be a good thing to, from time to time, evaluate why we are using excuses rather than reasons in our interaction with others.
And, as there is a place and time for everything, giving an excuse is not a bad thing in itself. However, we should be aware why we feel the need to come up with an excuse, rather than giving a reason why...
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