Sharing and Privacy

.
Another issue that comes up as we start sharing more and more of ourselves with others is that there is such a thing as privacy. Even for those that are not extremely private people, there are some things that are private. Things that may be shared with a few very good friends, or maybe not at all.

Like with the responsibility in sharing, the boundary of privacy in sharing also has two sides.
You may have something to share, like advice, and see a friend you know would greatly benefit from this little nugget of wisdom; this advice. And without being asked for it, you just share it ~ without taking into consideration the process the other person is going through. Figuring it out for themselves might be the one thing they need at that point of their personal path.
And so, for you to share that bit of advice is an intrusion in the privacy of their personal path...

Also, there can be all the respect in the world on both sides of the ‘sharing equation’ toward each other ~ as soon as the sharing gets to be tied in to an expectation, the waters get muddy...

“You have shared it with me in the past, so I expect that you will share it with me now...”

“If I had it ~ I would share it with you. But I don’t have it and you do ~ and therefore I expect that you are going to share it with me. After all, that is what I would do if the situation were reversed...”

What happens is that a very specific part of personal privacy starts being treaded upon: the privacy to make your own decisions. The privacy to not have to defend your decisions.

What makes it even harder is that it has hardly anything to do with logic ~ it has to do with how we feel about our own space, about the situation, about ourselves. Once we feel the decision whether to share something with the other person or not ~ once our privacy is at stake, the more we feel pushed to share whatever it is the other person would like us to share, the less likely we are to actually do so.
Often because there is this uneasy feeling that the other person is taking something that you would have liked to share or give ~ at your terms and time, and from your heart...

It is that sense that when you give a finger, they will take your whole hand...

Yes, sharing is good! Yet it comes with responsibilities; it is done with respect and from the heart. And it should never be expected or taken for granted.
.
.