Courteous Interaction

.
When I grew up I was taught that interaction with others should be courteous, or at the very least polite. A concept that came with a handful of guidelines like looking the other person in the eye when you are engaged in a conversation, and saying ‘thank you’ and ‘please’ at the appropriate times. In other words; be pleasant, respectful, and considerate ~ to the other person.
And the best way in which you can be respectful and considerate to someone else is to be respectful and considerate to yourself as well.

Courteous interaction is a two-way-street.

Yet it goes further than that ~ it turns out that when you truly aim at being courteous in your interaction with others it pretty soon becomes a ‘code of conduct’. A way of behavior not just in face-to-face interaction, but in a much wider range of circumstances.

It involves simple things like answering letters written to you ~ whether through email or through snail-mail ~ in a timely manner. It also involves being considerate to the needs of others. Finding ways to express yourself, to state your (personal) truth in such a manner that it is not an affront to the other person.

This of course doesn’t mean that you have to give up your own boundaries. It doesn’t mean that you have to help all people around you without ever receiving anything in return. And it most certainly doesn’t mean that the ‘cost’ of being courteous to others is to stop respecting yourself...

As it turns out, the more clear your own boundaries are, the easier it is to reach out to others. The more aware you can become of your environment ~ and those that are in it. And the more aware you become, the greater the strides you can take on your personal, spiritual path...

Having said that I find that when I am looking around me, seeing how people are interacting with each other ~ being courteous all too often is being considered old-fashioned. Being considerate to others as something that is taking away from oneself.
Interaction seems to be driven by one question and one question only: “What will I get out of it?”

The other day someone even told me that I had to consider that I was looking at a different generation of children. It was how the age-old generation gap was used as an excuse to not having to consider other people’s needs ~ to not having to be courteous, or respectful even...

Somehow this seems just plain wrong to me.

I understand that there are differences between the generations; as there are between cultures. However, I fail to understand how that makes it okay to not be considerate or respectful to others.

It makes me wonder if that apparent lack of consideration and respect is just for the ‘outside world’ or if it in reality is a reflection of the lack of consideration and respect given to oneself...
.
.