More than the sum of the parts ~ part one

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In our lives there is hardly anything that is truly separate from us, that is really something that stands alone without having an effect on us or on our lives. To the point that one could make a good argument that if something would not be affecting us ~ it wouldn’t be in our lives.

From a spiritual, or personal growth perspective this is not an uncommon thought.
If something in our lives is bothering us, especially when it is something that other people are doing ~ perhaps in our minds are even doing to us ~ it is seen as an invitation to look at what idea, (thought-)pattern, or attitude we have that is creating the space for this bothersome thing ~ whatever it is ~ into our lives. The next step is then to change ourselves, eliminating the space for that which is bothering us ~ and lo and behold, that which was bothering us before disappears from our lives...
Perhaps because ‘they’ are moving; or because we are moving ~ yet one way or another, through changing what is inside of ourselves, that which was bothering us that came from outside of ourselves moves out of our lives.

Now, was it our fault that ‘they’ were behaving poorly and in doing so were disturbing our peaceful environment? No, everybody is still responsible for their own actions ~ so ‘behaving poorly’ is the responsibility of those adopting that behavior. And as long as we aren’t bothered by it, there is no problem. We start perceiving it as a problem as soon as we feel bothered, hindered, or hurt because of it.
That means that it is not ‘their behavior’ we want to change ~ it is the fact that we feel bothered, hindered or hurt by it. That is inside of ourselves, and as such is the only thing we can possibly influence about the situation.
And as we change ourselves, our thinking, our attitudes; we grow. We become more who we can become than we were before...

But what happens when it is not ‘them’ that are doing something to us, but rather it is something inside of us that starts bothering us? Something like an ailment ~ maybe even a simple cold?
Did we catch that cold ~ or rather, did it catch us ~ because the weather is nasty? Or is there something inside of ourselves that created the space for that cold to manifest in? A subtle trap that allowed us to be caught?

And if we we would accept that our lives are an integrated whole, and so much more than the sum of our parts ~ then how can we live it, learn from it, yet do so in a joyful, balanced space?
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