Criticism

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There are many ways in which we can be critical ~ and to be fair, not all are bad.
Sometimes it is good to be critical because it can show us different perspectives. When we are all enthused about something, we may only be willing to see the positive aspects of the situation ~ in a situation like that some common sense criticism can give us a better rounded view of what is at stake.

That being said, there is a world of difference between the well-meant ‘be careful, things may not be as rosy as they seem’, and browbeating the other person. And yet, there doesn’t seem to be a nice sharp line between the two.

One can argue that straight forward criticism is a lot easier to deal with than the veiled criticism ~ no matter how harsh is sounds. Even when it is given from a negative perspective there are still ways to deal with it.

Obviously the intent with which the criticism is given is large part in deciding which category it falls in to. But even the most well meant criticism can take the joy out of life as it takes away the sense of discovery, the exploration, the enthusiasm, and last but not least the permission to make ones own mistakes (and learn from them).

To me a type of criticism that is hard to deal with starts with ‘Why would you want to do it that way, there has to be a better way...’
It says as much that what I want to do is wrong, is not a good way to do it, is not efficient ~ come to think of it, why would I want to do it at all? And pretty soon I have a tendency to just drop the project in its entirety.

Another type of criticism that is hard to deal with is when it is personal. When who you are is criticized. It brings you quickly to a point where there is nothing you can do ‘right’, or sufficient.

But perhaps the hardest aspect of criticism is when a person feels that anything that is said in a conversation is said from a critical perspective. When any statement, any story, anything that comes up is taken personal as mean spirited, browbeating criticism.
In essence this is a type of criticism that comes from within the self. Somewhere between the words being spoken and the words being heard they are translated ~ or twisted ~ into a critical statement that is taken personal.
And there is nothing one can say or add to the conversation that can change that...

It gives us something to think about ~ when we feel critical, what in ourselves are we criticizing?
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