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I like helping out. Over the years I have found that what I especially enjoy is to bring ideas to the surface in such a way that it creates choices for the person feeling stuck.
In my experience, as soon as you realize that there are a number of directions open to you; or several solutions to your situation you can choose from ~ you have to really work hard in order to maintain that sense of being stuck. More often, as soon as you can see that there are choices, this feeling of being stagnant disappears.
So when I am asked to help out with something, I may not solve the problem at hand ~ it is more likely that I will help create the perspective through which the choices can be seen. That way the person can make their own choices and take their own steps in order to move on from where they are.
After all, it is better to teach a person how to fish than to offer them a fish...
Most of the time, just helping someone to see that there really is more than one solution; more than one way to go about handling what ever it is they are facing ~ is enough to help them move on.
Perhaps all they needed in the first place was someone who took the time and effort to listen to them; to see where they were coming from, and to show them ways to move on from there. On their own; in their own way...
Most people, even when they ask for a helping hand every once in a while, are perfectly happy solving their own problems as soon as they can see that there indeed are ways to do so.
Every once in a while though I come across someone who may ask if I have any ideas on how to do something ~ often some project or other they are working on. And after having brought some ideas to the table it becomes clear that they are not after ‘getting un-stuck’ ~ what they are really after is for someone else to solve their problem. To give their project a running start.
And rather than being upfront about their intentions ~ they may try to string me along to the point where all the work that needed to be done is taken care of without they themselves lifting a finger.
And without having to pay someone for their services.
It is in those instances that I feel I have given a finger, yet lost my hand.
When, out of my desire to help out, I find myself entangled in a situation where I am doing unpaid and hardly appreciated work ~ while forgetting to help out myself, and doing what needs to be done in my own life...
It is something I will change ~ I will take better care of myself...
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