Non-Answers

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Most of the time you will probably find that when you ask a question, the answer you receive really is the answer to that question. It is the logical way in which our communication with the world around us occurs.

Every once in a while the answer we get is to an entirely different question. This may happen when there is a deeper, unspoken question resting underneath the question you actually asked. And as the other person somehow picked up on that ~ that is the question that gets answered.

When that happens to me I consider it a gift!
Because not only does the answer now point me to the ‘real’ question or situation ~ something I may not have been aware of up to that point ~ it more often than not puts me in a position where I can figure out the answer to my initial question myself.

It is like the answer to the unspoken question is the start of a story that touches both on my question as well as my quest ~ my unique, personal path through life.

I have a tendency to pay a lot of attention to the way in which ~ sometimes very simple ~ answers can tell important stories. Stories about me and my experiences; and stories about the other person and where he or she is coming from.

In that way a ‘non-answer’ speaks volumes!

Whether it is a flippant remark to a serious question or just not giving an answer at all ~ there is no better way in which you can tell the person asking the question that they are unimportant and that you are not listening to them.
Once or twice is enough to turn away and find guidance elsewhere.

And yet, not answering a question happens probably more often than we think...
Perhaps not with the questions that are ‘biggies’ in your own life or in the life of a friend. But what about a casual request in an email on a day that you are very busy to start with? Or the question that gets lost as the conversation moves on before an answer was given?

In our fast paced lives a lot of us tend to fail to even acknowledge that email ~ just as we fail to register the question before the conversation moves on. It often happens inadvertently.
However sometimes it is also used as ‘an easy way out’ ~ especially when the communication is about something we don’t want to hear. Or when the input given does not agree with our predetermined ideas.

Yes, I believe ‘non-answers’ may well give us most information yet...
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