Tuesday, April 15, 2014

The unexpected

It seems like the unexpected happens a lot easier than whatever it is we expect to happen at any given point during our day. And it is not that those unexpected things are ‘bad’, troublesome, or otherwise annoying; in fact, a lot of those unexpected things turn out to be quite beneficial to us. They are ‘good’ things! It is just that they are, well, unexpected…

Which makes it interesting to start looking at why they are so unexpected.

Often there are two perspectives that make for unexpected events:
We don’t dare dream that something like that will ever happen to us.
We have our expectations of what will happen next, and anything else happening is a surprise to us.

In different ways, neither of those perspectives is helping us cope with the energies we are experiencing in our lives today as the energy does no longer support a step-wise ~ set in concrete ~ planning process that will lead us from A to B to C and so on, to the predictable outcome. The energy we are living in at this point in time is a flow. And the best we can do is to direct that flow as best we can toward our desired outcome.
In other words, we set our goals and move as best we can with the energy around us toward those goals.

This doesn’t mean we are not taking positive steps toward our goals anymore; however it does mean that we would benefit from opening ourselves to possibilities we encounter along the way, and permit ourselves the freedom to explore those possibilities as we are moving in the direction of our set goals.

This implies that we may encounter possibilities that can turn the flow we are in into rapids that lead us to a better, grander goal than we could have imagined! The only thing that could prevent this from happening is to be so stuck on our intended goal and on how to achieve it, that we are not allowing ourselves to benefit from whatever it is that is coming our way unexpectedly…

Now, I am not saying that there are no nasty, problematic surprises we may encounter along the way. But those are not really anything new; we assess them, we handle them ~ and then we move on.
What is new is that it is time to dream big, and then to move toward making our dreams a reality while being open to unexpected, surprising help we may receive along the way.

Friday, April 11, 2014

Help coming your way

Are you one of those people who choose to do pretty much everything themselves? Or would you rather ask for help every step of the way? Whether you are at the first or the second end of the spectrum; in time we all get into a situation that help is being offered no matter what we do or say. The question then becomes whether we are glad that help is coming our way, or if by any chance we are fearing the result of the help that is so kindly being offered…

Because not everybody has the ability to help another person in the way that person needs to be helped. All too often do we help in such a way that we feel would work best for us ~ instead of looking at it from the perspective of the other person that we feel needs our help.
The result can be a situation that is not being experienced as ‘help’ at all. It is a shuffle of things that in time will need to be reshuffled again. As such, help can be something that strikes fear in the hearts of the most brave people. People who dare do anything and take on everything can be brought down by  the thought of being helped in such a way they perceive as going backward.

It is a concept that shows how both helping another person, as well as being the person who accepts the help coming their way is hardly ever as straight forward as it seems. And it can amount to a situation where all those involved feel being unappreciated.

It seems that the key to both helping as well as accepting the help that is being offered lies in totally letting go of our judgement call of how something would be done best, and instead to ask how the other person best can be helped. Very often the other person has a reason to do things a certain way; to organize things in a certain manner. It is not just to be stubborn or even mean-spirited ~ it most likely is because the ultimate result will make them happy…

Sometimes the best way to help is by simply listen to the other person telling you about all the things that are going on. Or to make a pot of tea. Or to be encouraging. While other times some ‘let’s go make it happen-work’ is needed to help get the other person back on track.

Similarly, for the person asking for help at the drop of a hat, it might be best to help them by not picking up the slack but rather by letting them sort it out on their own ~ something that may result in a great sense of accomplishment and self esteem…

So, when help is coming your way, just realize that whichever side you are on, there is nothing simple about it!

Tuesday, April 8, 2014

Important things

Has it ever happened to you that in the midst of everything that is going on in your life, you suddenly forget something important? Something that, in quieter times you truly make a priority. Something you value, and even enjoy… And yet, when things get all topsy turvy you never even thought about it. That is, until just that time when you would have done it, when you needed the result of whatever it is that has slipped your mind.
Right at that moment, a sense of panic may set in. This thing that is really important to me should have been done by now, and it isn’t. I haven’t.

When this occurs, one of two things may happen next.
Either we have a problem. We need to scramble to make it work as the important thing that didn’t happen ~ wasn’t done ~ is the hinge pin for a whole host of other things that are tied to it and that may be equally as important to us.
Or life goes on without a hitch. Leaving whatever it is we didn’t do as a choice to do at some later time, or not at all. Just skipping it for now until we find ourselves at a point in our lives that is less hectic, a moment  when we can gain more enjoyment from doing this thing…

Interestingly, whether we have created a problem for ourselves or not has nothing to do with our sense of importance of this thing we really wanted to do; we truly wanted to accomplish. Even though at the surface it seems that when it ends up being a problem in our lives when it didn’t happen it must have been way more important then when there are no discernible consequences of letting the thing that holds importance to us slip.

In other words, the true importance doesn’t lie in the result necessarily; it is part of our experience. If having the experience is important to us; then it is. Independent of the result.

However, it might give us a different perspective on how we plan our lives…

If we plan our lives minute by minute so full that when one thing takes a bit more time ~ or when we find ourselves being just tired and really need a rest ~ a whole range of other things that are dependent on this thing being done cause us trouble, stress, and making our lives even busier; then perhaps we have too much n our plate. Too many balls in the air…
If this is the case, it may be a good idea to revisit our schedule to see what is truly important in our lives.

Friday, April 4, 2014


I have to admit, at times I do envy my cats. Or more precise; not just my cats; pretty much all cats. It is just that I am in a better position to observe the threesome that look at me to open the food cans…

It is being said that dogs have masters, and cats have employees.
It seems to be true that dogs are more apt to to do things that will make a person happy. In a way, they even may go out of their way to do so.
This is not true for cats. Cats treat you as an equal at best, while doing whatever it takes to be happy themselves. That being said, they are absolutely perfect at guarding a space, be it physically or in energy. Yes, they do have a job; they just lack having a boss. And while at it, I as a human ~ while greatly appreciated for my ability to come up with a variety of tasty bits and willingness to open its containers ~ should really get with it and help out as best I can. (After all, those humans tend to be a bit dense.)

But this is not why I envy cats.
I envy them because of their aptitude to be themselves. For the way they do the things they do ~ whether it is their ‘job’ or just whatever it is cats do ~ while staying totally true to themselves. No compromises. Unless of course what I might interpret as a compromise ~ something like lazing about on my lap while purring loudly ~ is part of their plan. After all, the lap is comfortable, and when played right, the purring  will instigate petting. Petting that needs to be done ‘just so’. And if I don’t get it right; well there are other comfortable places to repose… No hard feelings.

It is one of those lessons cats can teach us; to be entirely true to ourselves, doing the things we (have to) do with grace, and not having any hard feelings when people around us ‘just don’t get it’. Knowing when to be persistent, and realizing when it is time to move on; either to something else, or by doing what we set out to do in our own way. Pleasing others because it gives us a sense of wellbeing; without ever giving up our own plans, our own values, or our sense of who we truly are.

No doubt any kind of (pet) animal has plenty lessons to teach us, but to me cats are in a class all by themselves.

Tuesday, April 1, 2014


It has been a long time since meditation was something practiced by only a few; something mystical, filled with mystery; and therefore branding those who would engage in something like meditation as a pretty weird person…
In this point in time it is known that meditation has wonderful benefits like lowering stress levels, and staying or becoming more balanced. And many people meditate just for that reason; to find that quiet, peaceful spot within themselves, where they can rest and leave all the stress and troubles of their lives behind for a moment.

For others, that peaceful point of rest is only the starting point for their meditations.
Some may seek to deepen that point of peace more and more, allowing it to flow into their daily lives; in effect becoming an ever more peaceful person. Others may seek answers in their meditations; answers that elude them when they ‘think it through’. The idea is that while meditating, we tap into a different, higher frequency of our being which can show us new and different aspects of what is happening in our lives. And with new information come new solutions.

It turns out that meditation allows us to tap into ever higher states of being, which in turn gives us new and different experiences along the way.

A different form of meditation altogether is to direct our energies, starting from that point of peaceful rest, in order to bring a specific solution about in our lives.
For instance, that which we focus our attention on, that which we focus our actions toward will grow in our lives. So, if we want to manifest that new home into our lives, the thing to do is to actively start looking at houses that are available. Another thing we can do is to ‘meditate on it’. And in our meditation we can imagine what it would be like in this new home. What colors we would paint the walls, what shops or schools would be nearby… And just as we can put our physical actions toward finding ourselves a new home, we can pour energy into the process through meditation.
It doubles the effort, and in effect should double the outcome…

However, in meditation we may also see enough reasons to stay where we are living right now, to give up the search altogether. Or we may find that the timing for moving is not quite right yet… Or that we want to focus our attention on a different place. Or perhaps even that before we can make that move, we better make a promotion first…

All in all, meditation can be a great tool while living our lives; although never a substitute for actually living our lives.