Tuesday, February 17, 2015


A friend is a person whom one knows and with whom one has a bond of mutual affection, typically exclusive of sexual or family relations. At least according to the dictionary.
That being said, friends come in many shapes and sizes; not just in appearance, but also in energy; in what you share together that makes the friendship so valuable to both of you. The other thing that is an interesting variable is that some friends turn out to be life-long friends, while others, even close friends, come into your life for a certain period of time; and then drift away again. This may imply that even for something so precious as a friendship, there is a place and a time.

It means that there are friends that you have known for all of your life, and then there are friends whom you have just met recently. There are friends you have yet to meet. And there are friends you recognize from a long, long time ago…

Whether it is a friendship that only lasts a number of months, or a friendship that stretches throughout lifetimes doesn’t say anything about the quality of the friendship, or how easy it is to be good friends. After all, while there are many reasons why a friendship can drift apart, the important thing is to be good friends for that specific period in your lives when you are close. And on the other hand a friendship that lasts multiple lifetimes can be wrought with all kinds of life lessons you have decided to tackle together rather than handling them on your own; something that can bring its own, specific problems into the bond of friendship you share.
Therefore, you don’t have to always like your friends. You can be at odds with your friends, for instance over a certain situation, yet still remain friends. Perhaps because underneath everything that happens there is an inherent sense of trust; a knowing that the friendship will prevail.

When you cannot weather the storm together, you may not have been true friends from the beginning. Again, something that in and of itself is not a bad thing.

Ultimately it is good to have friends. To know yourself surrounded by those you know and trust, with whom you share a bond of mutual affection!
And the only thing one has to do to allow a friendship like that to grow, is to be as good a friend to them as you would wish your friends to be to you…

Friday, February 13, 2015

Expect the unexpected

Many years ago I was told by my teacher to ‘expect the unexpected’. At the time, while I understood what he meant by it, it didn’t quite ring true to me. At least not in the way I was living my life back then. While there was lots of movement going on, and change was a more or less continuous thing, everything seemed to have its place and its rhythm.

Looking back, I can clearly see that even in those days things were not happening quite the way I was expecting or hoping they would happen. It seems that some things I was really going for never happened at all ~ even to this day. While other things came in their place and came into my life without much effort on my part.
Perhaps I let go of the things I desired a bit too easy at that time, allowing myself to be guided by whatever came into my life. It is a fine line between ‘rolling with the punches’ and ‘taking guidance from the Universe’…

As time went on, I started to frame my wishes and desires a bit more careful; began to work toward them with more dedication and even discipline. I created a plan and worked toward my goals accordingly.

That is when that lesson truly hit home! Expect the unexpected.

No matter how hard I try, the unexpected keeps coming up throwing my best plans aside and taking over my life for a couple of days or weeks at a time. And when I stop and think about it as it happens, I know with total certainty that this unexpected event is where I need to spend my time and energy right now; therefore it seems I have my priorities in line quite nicely.
They are just not in line with my plans…

The question I keep pondering is whether I am ‘rolling with the punches’ too much, or am I ‘taking universal guidance’. And where does that leave my plans, my goals; what about my wishes and desires?

I have finally decided to split my time and efforts. To go with the unexpected, and at the same time work on making my plans come true. To dedicate my time and energy on my plans, and goals, wishes and desires; as well as on whatever the universe brings to my path.
It is something that is easier on some days than on others, but most of the time it seems to work out.

And suddenly something very unexpected happened; things are beginning to fall into place!

Tuesday, February 10, 2015

Out of sight

The saying is: ‘out of sight, out of mind’; in other words, when something is not right in your face anymore, it is easy to forget all about it.

Truth be told, there are friends from the past that I have lost touch with. As we went our separate ways ~ for whatever the reason; moving, closing different education, different career paths, etc. ~ life moved on. In all likelihood for both of us. And as new friends took their places, new situations happened, we embarked upon new adventures without looking back.

Out of sight, out of mind.

Although that is not entirely true…
I often find myself thinking of friends of the past ~ who I have often not seen for a very long time ~ with fond memories. Seeing their faces as I knew them, way back when; so no doubt a lot younger than they are now. Children’s faces, or the images of teenagers.

Without any warning whatsoever I find that they are back in my mind, bringing up memories I never knew I had. And immediately I am wondering what has become of them…
What are they doing now? Where would they live? Do they have families, careers? What path have they chosen to walk through life?

I often wonder what happened in my life that brought them back to mind. What sparked the memories?

Sometimes it is sparked by something that was given to me during that period of my life so long ago. A birthday present, a kind remark (or even a nasty remark).

Other times it is a song that goes out throughout time and space ~ a connection of which the depth was never quite understood ~ yet suddenly I can hear that song…
It can be a song of the past; usually sparking just plain, feel-good childhood memories. It can also be a song of celebration; a song that sings of accomplishments. And every once in a while it is a song of endings; a song of passing into other realms.
Hearing that song then will give me the opportunity to tune in. To remember that part of the path we have walked together. And to say goodbye. Until we meet again…

So it seems that in this point in time it is not as much ‘out of sight, out of mind’, but rather that each of us is walking our own path. And when those paths cross (again), we remember. And whatever connection we have had in the past is suddenly back in our lives; front and center. Even without physically meeting ever again…

Out of sight, but never out of mind.

Friday, February 6, 2015

No time

In our increasingly busy lives, we have less and less time to do the things we want to, or even need to do. Between work, family, friends, our household chores and social media, our days are more than filled. And when we keep trying to juggle all our balls in the air all the time, we run the risk of burning the candle on both ends…

It seems that oat some point we have to choose. We have to set our priorities, and divide our time such that what really needs to get done will get done, and that we create enough flexibility in our lives to be more relaxed about the rest.

Yet there seems to be another angle to our day-to-day lack of time.
Because not only do we seem to cram more activities into our day than time permits by not being clear on our priorities and our choices as to what is truly important in our lives and what is not; we also tend to spend quite a bit of time thinking about things that have happened in the past. Things we could have handled better; how we could have given a wittier response; even how things that may have happened to us long time ago are still influencing how we are (re)acting today.
And then there is the future. As we feel we have no time already, it is easy to start worrying about how we will fit in future endeavors. How we will schedule our calendars tomorrow, or next week; next month, in order to get everything done.

The reality is that we cannot change the past. We can learn from what has happened in the past; we can transform how past situations are affecting us. But that’s it! Spending any more time and energy on the past puts us in a position where we are living in the past.
What tomorrow will bring ~ or next week, next month ~ is still out there. We can make plans, but worrying about it puts us out into a future that hasn’t happened yet, and in some cases probably never will happen.

And all the time we spend pondering or perhaps even regretting the past, or worrying about the future, is time we do not have available to be present and productive right now.

It may well be that our efforts to be present in this very moment, to live life as we encounter it, can give us the greatest amount of ‘extra’ time. Time to do the things that need to be done today, as well as time to smell the roses and enjoy our lives to the fullest!

Tuesday, February 3, 2015

The journey

We are all walking our own, personal paths; and as such all of us are on a journey. Not just a physical journey, but also a journey in mind, in experience. With every things we learn about others, about life, or about ourselves, we are taking new steps on the path we are on, and in doing so we are continuing our journey.
For some of us that comes with lots of physical journeys as well. Travels to all corners of the earth, meeting different cultures and new friends. For others their personal journeys are just as rich in experience without ever traveling more than a hundred miles from the place we were born.
On our personal path it is not about how far we travel, but more about what we are doing with the time we are given at the very place we are at right now…

We often spend a lot of time and energy figuring out what we want to do when we ‘get there’. Sometimes we forget how precious the journey really is.

But whether we are focused on life in the fast lane, or leave our footsteps on a more inward path; there comes a time that we will prepare for the journey to the ‘Great Beyond’. That journey to the place that we can’t quite see. We can sense it is there, and yet, it takes years of training to actually imagine what it is like…
The ‘Great Beyond’ is clearly beyond our experience. It is a place that is beyond our physical understanding. A space beyond comparison.

As we prepare for that part of our journey, we may well see glimpses of that other world. And as we get closer to the moment we are to set sail, our mind may well race ahead and imagine all the things waiting for us in that new world that lays beyond this one. Looking forward, and losing touch with the familiarity of the path and the people we have known for so long.

Knowing we will meet again.
For as we may have that yearning to make that journey to the ‘Great Beyond’, at some point in time we may feel a yearning to continue our journey in the confines of density. Where we will meet old friends under new circumstances. Where we may, or may not embark on adventures together, for sometimes just the recognition of an age-old friendship is enough.

We are all walking our own, personal paths; we are on a journey. And on that journey, chances are we will meet over and again.