Friday, September 30, 2016

Holding close or letting go?

We would probably do well if we would take some time every year to evaluate what we want to hold close, and what we feel we can let go. Not just from a material perspective; although that can also give us more space ~ not just the actual space in our attics or basements, but also in our minds ~ but rather from a perspective of our emotions and values.
To sit back and observe the patterns of our lives. Our reactions to new things, to old traditions, and to outlandish adventures ~ our own or someone else’s. To notice the situations that bring tears to our eyes, and to ask ourselves whether these are tears of this point in time, or rather of a far and distant past? To reflect on our (old) hurts, and how they still may be affecting our lives.
To ponder the thought of what life would be like if we would let those things go. If we would release them to their proper time, their proper place…

Perhaps even ask ourselves whether they were ours to start with, or if they were patterns we adopted while growing up that had more to do with how our parents experienced life, than they relate to what we value in life?

The interesting thing is that especially those questions can make it very clear as to what we can let go of, and what we want to hold close. Both from a values/emotional perspective, as well as from a material perspective.
We may just have contemplated some pattern in our lives that we seem to have a curious relationship with, and suddenly it can dawn on us that pretty much everything in those boxes in the corner of the garage are no longer needed, and can be released.

And the space that is created when something like that happens will materialize on multiple levels. Of course there will be more space the garage, yet on top of that there seems to be more space in our minds; we may even feel more freedom; even a greater sense of self.

The other side of this is that we can discover something about ourselves, our family, or how we were brought up ~ perhaps even something that was almost forgotten ~ that, now it comes up and we start thinking about it, appears to have great meaning to us.
Those are the things that we would do good to hold close.

At least until our time of evaluation and reflection of next year…

Tuesday, September 27, 2016

Best buddies

Have you ever wondered why some things you may want in your life just don’t seem to stick? Even when you manage to get them, to acquire them, to manifest them, one way or another they seem to move out of your life almost as quickly as they appeared.

It is a principle that can apply to almost anything in our lives, although it hardly ever happens ‘across the board’. More likely it happens with specific items. Often over and over again.

Recently I have come to the conclusion that ~ at least for me ~ this is at least partly due to the thought that I am not ‘best buddies’ with that item.

For instance, if you really want a car, but in your heart of hearts you don’t like cars. You feel they are polluting monsters, that on average cost more than they are worth; give you more trouble than comfort. In that case you may be able to buy a car, yet chances are you will find that the car will move out of your life again as well.
Or perhaps you like this really nice, light, modern furniture. However, you were raised with the message that furniture should be sturdy enough to last a life-time. And somehow, even though you are careful with your new furniture, it keeps breaking… Until you finally capitulate and find yourself sturdy, well made, boring furniture; just because you get tired of the hassle.

For a lot of people, the item that moves away from them almost as fast as it comes in, is money.
Of course we do have to pay the bills, have a roof over our heads and feed ourselves and our families, yet even when logic says that we should be able to put a certain amount each month into a savings account, there is never any money left to save.

Whatever item it is ~ even when it is money ~ it is probably a good idea to evaluate our thoughts about that item. Or even the thought patterns we grew up with concerning that item.
To ask ourselves whether we are in effect ‘best buddies’ with that item…

Now it is easy to say: ‘Yes! I love to have all the money I would need to buy whatever it is I desire!’
But is that the true message we are giving ourselves?
Might there be that little voice deep within that whispers for example: ‘You’re not worth it’. Or: ‘Money is evil’. ‘Rich people are mean’. ‘The more you have, the more you have to lose…’.

If so, then perhaps it is time to put that statement in the spotlight and to see whether it is part of our (personal) truth. To see what we can do to change it such that we can become ‘best buddies’ with that which we desire to have in our lives.

When we do that, chances are it will stick!

Tuesday, September 20, 2016


It is always a good idea to build upon a strong foundation. Whether we are building a house, a business, or our lives; when the foundation is sound and strong, chances are whatever we are building will work well for us.

And just like we may want to remodel our homes or reorganize our business, there may be a time when we want to restructure our lives.
Sometimes because of some life-changing event, but more often because of a sense of discontent. A sense that we have lived within our comfort zone a bit too long, and we find ourselves getting hungry for new adventures, new perspectives, and new inspirations…

It is at those times that it is also necessary to look at our foundation.
First, we have build our life as we are living it on the existing foundation. Therefore it is a good thing to realize that our foundation is not a bad thing; it is just that we feel we have outgrown what it has to offer and are ready for something new. In other words, our ‘old’ foundation will always be the stepping stone for any new things we invite into our lives.
Second, if we truly want to restructure our lives, chances are we also want to re-evaluate our foundation. To see what parts of it are still serving us well, what parts of it need strengthening, and where we want to extend or expand our basis such that the new life-style we desire can be built upon a new and strong foundation.
Third, it is essential that we take actual steps to build that new foundation for ourselves, for our lives. This can be very physical steps like a redo of our garden. Or it can be taking a class learning something truly creative. Or perhaps it means taking time to truly see where we have come from and where we want to go. To look into our (family) traditions, cultural wisdom, and personal truth in order to gain clarity as to what our new foundation will resemble. The clarity needed to imagine not only our new foundation, but also our ‘new lives’.

The funny thing is that when we do something like that ~ even though we don’t feel like we are changing anything yet ~ those people around us may notice how we indeed are changing already…
It may be in a new and different favorite color, a new sparkle in our eyes, or even slight changes in our handwriting. Whatever it is, the signs are there…

So if you feel it is time to start changing things, to bring newness into the lives we live ~ consider rebuilding the foundation you are building your life upon!

Friday, September 16, 2016


Looking around, it seems that many of us are ‘sideliners’.
Like standing on the sidelines of a sports match, knowing precisely what the players should do and where they are going the wrong direction. “Armchair quarterbacks’ in a sense, although when we are on the sidelines we have this sense that we are part of the game, without ever stepping foot on the field.

Let’s be clear, it is great for parents to support their children at their sports events; or for fans to support their favorite team from the sidelines! Yet it is our kids or our favorite team that are playing the game, and we are there for support and as such not part of the game.

And all of this is perfectly okay when it is our aim to support. To share ~ as supporters ~ in the victories and to be there to give comfort when they loose.

But when it is about our lives, it is an entirely different ball game!
When it is about our lives, we shouldn’t be on the sidelines, supporting, and watching how the game unfolds. We should be on the field playing the game! Living it!

When we stick to the sidelines as our lives play out, we become observers to our lives. And as observers we have no real impact as to how the game ~ or in this case our lives ~ is unfolding. And pretty soon we get to a point where we may feel that life is something that is happening to us.
We see it, we support it, we know what we should do or how we should have answered; what we should have said at that moment, but in all reality we see it as a game that is being played out there on the field, that we are not truly a part of.

This is not how life works.
Our lives are meant to be lived, not just supported or observed. We should therefore place ourselves in a position where we can impact our lives, make our own decisions, our own moves.
And while we may listen to the coach and the referee in the game of life, ultimately it is our play.
This also means that the consequences are ours, but at least they are the consequences of a decision we have made, rather than from a play that we have seen from the sidelines…

So perhaps it is time to leave the sidelines and step on the field to play the biggest game ever; the game of life!

Friday, September 9, 2016

The navel of the universe

Often when this expression is used the picture that emerges is that it is about the center of our lives. Perhaps even about the center of the area in which we live our lives, the environment. And while that environment may have been small in the past when travel wasn’t as widely available to us, the navel of our universe would have been in the center of that area where most of our life would play out. Nowadays it is so much easier to travel that the expression may not refer as much to an actual area, but more to a priority we have in our lives.

This then would make ‘the navel of the universe’ in years gone by pretty much our homes, while in the present we may be able to relate to it more as ‘family’, ‘work’, ‘adventure’, or things of that nature.

Our navel, or bellybutton, is that spot that is related to gaining insight into ourselves. Located close to our solar plexus it is said to show us who we are in reality when we take time contemplating our navel.
The universe… Well, in literal sense it is the ‘All Around’; and bigger than we can imagine.
So putting the two together in one sentence may seem like a little bit of a contradiction in terms. After all, when we cannot truly imagine how big the universe truly is, then how would we determine where its center might be found?

However, there is a way in which the navel of the universe can come both close at home as well as neatly fitting. And that is when we consider the possibility that we ourselves are the center of our universe; the creators of our lives.
In that case our navel, that point related to whom we are in reality, would turn out the center from which we create our universe…

It is a perspective that has lots of ramifications…
First and foremost, it assumes that we do create our lives. Not just a little bit, or just the parts that we are happy with or that turn out well, but all of it. And with that come this tiny caveat that says that if we have created it, we are responsible for it. Nowhere else to look but at ourselves if we have created something that we don’t like quite as much as we had thought…

On the other hand, if we are the center ~ the creator ~ of our universe; it is up to us to change it into the best place we can imagine (!) simply by cultivating all the good things in life inside ourselves…

And perhaps contemplating our navel to see where we are at is a good place to start!

Tuesday, September 6, 2016

To do or do not

As Yoda told young Luke when he said he’d try to raise the spaceship from the swamp: ‘Do not try. Do or do not.’

And while we may not be faced with spaceships that need raising from swamps on a day-to-day basis, it is a good perspective to ponder.
How often do we tell ourselves that we are trying our best, but…

The distinction between trying to do something or deciding that we are going to do something is conviction. When we decide to try something, there is some part of us that is uncertain about the event. It may be that we are uncertain whether we like doing it, whether we like the taste of it, or even whether we can do it at all. When we decide to do it, we will actually do it no matter the outcome. We do the best we can, and if it is within our abilities we will have success. If we are not successful the first time, we can either decide to learn more about it, hone our skills and abilities; or we can decide that we are not willing to put our time and energy into mastering whatever it is we are doing…

The choice is always our own.

The real question then becomes why we would try doing things, rather than decide to do them or not do them. Where is the uncertainty coming from?
Is it because we feel pressured? Do we feel we should do it, but we don’t really want to? Are we having a hard time stepping out of old patterns and habits, perhaps to the point where we say ‘yes’, while our whole being is screaming ‘no’?

Ultimately most choices are not that hard.
We either want to do it, or not. We either can do it, or not. We either will do it, or not.

As soon as we tell anyone we will try doing it, chances are we are accommodating the other person while we truly don’t see a way in which we can make it happen in the first place. And rather than saying, ‘Sorry, no can do’, we’ll say ‘I’ll try’.
This may seem nice toward the other person, it may even be the polite thing to do. Yet it has a tendency to put our own needs and desires on the back burner as pretty soon we are trying to accommodate everybody around us, rather than taking care of the things we really need in our lives.

So ultimately it may be a good time to take Yoda’s advice: ‘Do not try, do or do not.’
Pendant by Taliswoman Me

Friday, September 2, 2016

Personal power

In this time of polarities even the term ‘personal power’ seems to be brought to its extremes. People either seem to feel that they don’t have any (personal) power at all in a world that seems to be regulated by big corporations, or they go out of their way to exert their personal power ~ almost with an ‘anything goes’ attitude.

As with anything that is brought to its polarities, the point of balance is likely found somewhere in the middle. And as with anything that seems to come up in this point in time, that middle ground is not always as easy to find as one might think.

On one hand it does seem like big corporations have more influence than they know how to handle correctly, and consequently greed takes over while integrity is lost…

But to truly look at our personal power, it is a good idea to first look at what this power entails as it is not domination of one person over another. That would be bullying and is something else entirely.
When we talk about power, we are talking about expression; especially where it concerns personal power.
This would define personal power as the personal expression; the expression of who we genuinely are. The expression of our potentials.

When looking at personal power in this respect, there seem to be very few instances where we would be bothered by big corporations of whichever kind. It suddenly is all about us. About ourselves and how we create our lives.

The one thing that could hinder us to no end in using our personal power this way, is if we give that power away.

Sounds logical?
Yet it happens more often than one may believe.

The moment we buy in to what other people tell us to do, we are taking a step away from our genuine selves and therefore away from our personal power.
Now there are situations when this is not a problem; for instance in our jobs. After all we are getting paid to do our jobs in a specific manner, and our boss is the one telling us ‘when’ and ‘how to’.
But in pretty much all other area’s of life, when we permit other people telling us what to do or how to behave, we are not taking our own decisions anymore and are as such diminishing our personal power.

Ultimately, our personal power has a lot to do with taking responsibility for ourselves and our lives. Not just for everything that is working out fine, but perhaps more importantly also for those things that don’t work at all.
The moment we decide to do that, we have taken back our power and have truly experienced personal empowerment!