Leaving it behind

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Today is the one day out of a whole year that is perfect for leaving the things behind we no longer wish to carry along. What that is, is different for each of us. For some they may be burdens of an emotional nature; while others may feel burdened by physical or material ‘stuff’.
New Years Eve is a great moment to reflect on what we want to carry forth into the new year, and what we would like to leave behind in the old year, in ‘old time’; allowing it to become history.

As we pick and choose what to take with us and what to leave behind, we need to be aware that even as we leave things, emotions, attitudes behind ~ they will always be part of us.
The difference is that in consciously leaving them behind we give ourselves the opportunity to unburden ourselves. In essence what we do is leaving the heaviness, the darkness behind which brings a spring back in our steps and creates a space for newness to come into our lives. What we will always take with us are the lessons we have learned from the experiences we have encountered in our lives.

In short, as we leave behind the burdens of that which we no longer want to take with us, whatever situations, experiences, or things they were ~ they will become a part of our personal history. Somehow those experiences have permitted us to grow and to arrive at the point of our path that we are today.

And that is a good thing!

It is also a good thing that as these experiences have served their purpose, to decide that we no longer need them to burden our lives. To release them. To, ultimately, leave them behind.

In doing so we bring a greater sense of freedom into our lives ~ perhaps even a greater sense of peace. Whether it is an old cabinet or an old situation wrought with dark and dank emotions ~ as we leave it behind we are creating a new space, perhaps even a corridor into a new and brighter future.

So, if you have some time in between the preparations for New Year’s Eve ~ perhaps it will serve you to ponder these perspectives… And to decide on three things that you would like to leave behind as the New Year rolls in with a New Moon.
Allowing yourself three spaces into which new seeds can be sown, where these seeds can germinate and over the next year can grow into strong and productive plants that will serve you well!

Happy New Year!
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Circumstances

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It is funny how the circumstances we may find ourselves in can either give us a jumpstart, or stop us in our tracks. We tend to look at a change in our circumstances as a negative. Something that is throwing off our routine; that takes away the structure in our lives ~ in other words, something that makes our lives harder than it needs to be as it takes away the organization we have imposed on our lives. It stops the plans we have made in their tracks, and suddenly we need to adapt to a place ~ and energy ~ that we are not that familiar with.
This seems quite obvious with the ‘biggies’ ~ like relationship (whether they start or end; the do change the circumstances), moving house (for whatever the reason), losing or finding a job… All of those things change our circumstances to such extend that we are forced to adapt.

Yet there are much smaller things we can find on our path, that change our circumstances in such a way that they become ‘life altering events’.

I remember one time long ago when my 100-year old house was being insulated ~ double glazed windows, insulated floor instead of the bare floor boards… It was a sense of luxury that I hadn’t know before. And pretty soon I felt compelled to change my environment from a space furnished with secondhand, cheap furniture into a space that was truly my own. In hindsight something I should have done long before that time; yet living in my own little world, following my own little plans had made it easy to put it off.
Other examples were when I got my first car; when I quit my job. And also when I decided my really long hair; and the time when I painted the walls of my living room yellow.

A change in circumstances can be innocuous ~ like painting de walls of a room in a different color ~ and still have an enormous effect. As the energy changes, whether that is anticipated or not, it can set a line of events in motion that change our perspectives, our experiences. And before we know it, the plans we had made don’t seem to fit anymore. As we change our plans we may not even be fully aware that the dominos have started falling…
After all is said and done, life looks differently.
We have changed.

The curious thing to me is how a tiny change in circumstances can push us to adapt and change ~ and pushes us to take a giant leap on our personal paths…
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Laugh, and the world laughs with you…

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When we are happy, it seems everybody around us is happy also. When we smile, people around us have a tendency to start smiling. In other words, laugh and the world laughs with you!

When we are happy, humming, or even singing and dancing along, chances are that we are in tune with the Universe. On top of being happy, because we are in tune, everything we do seems to fit. There is exactly enough time to do our shopping, and when we are ready to check out, we will find ourselves to be the first in line at the register. When we make a phone call for information, we get the right person on the line right away ~ and this person answers all of our questions to our satisfaction. When we are driving some place we have to get to, all of the traffic lights turn green as we approach…
As those things happen, they can make us even more happy!

In a sense when we get ‘in the groove’ in this manner, it is not only the world who laughs with us; it is the Universe itself that is laughing with us, encouraging us to keep going and to unfold our greatest potentials and our wildes dreams.

The second part of the saying is more gloomy. ‘Cry, and you will cry alone’.
The moments when nothing seems to fit, and the whole world seems to conspire against us ~ it is often a clear sign that we are out of tune. Out of touch with ourselves and (therefore) with the Universe.
When that happens it affects our timing, as well as the amount of energy it takes to get things done. It is something that is all the more frustrating when we look around us and see the rest of the world smoothly moving along, without any problems ~ which in turn can give us a sense of being utterly alone.

Whether we are laughing or crying is ~ up to a point ~ a choice we have. We may not always in control of the situations we find ourselves in; we are always in control of how we react to them. And the more balanced our reactions, the more smoothly our lives tend to move along.
Also it is important to act on the factual aspects of the situations we find ourselves in, rather than there emotional counterparts. Dealing with the facts as we see them at that moment will help us to make decisions in such a way that our balance is enhanced.

All these things together determine whether the Universe is smiling upon us. Whether we are laughing with the world around us…
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I love it when a plan comes together!

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A saying I most remember from the 80s TV series The A-Team. Every time another unlikely adventure had come to a good end it is what their leader, Hannibal, would say ~ cigar, big grin and all…

In life there are always plans we dream up, and make happen. Some plans work out great, while others may not work out quite the way we had in mind. And of those plans that work out differently, can roughly be divided into two groups: those that don’t work out at all, and those that in the end work out better than we could have ever thought!
The times when a plan we put into motion seems to get skewed, move sideways to the point where we almost give up on it, only to find that in the end the results are way better than what we set out to achieve ~ that is when the saying is still so true; ‘I love it when a plan comes together!’

The unexpected things that cross our paths and push the outcome in an ever more beneficial direction, can be things like finding yourself being at the right time at the right place. It can be a chance meeting, or perhaps a meeting that never happens because the person is indisposed.
And yet, miraculously it all works out in the end…

For me the most amazing times when a plan comes together, are the times when things ‘click’ on my personal path. Often without really planning for something, suddenly I find information coming my way from different sources that seems to dove-tail perfectly, and guides (or sometimes pushes) me into a direction I would not have gone without this happening to me.
It does’t necessarily bring new adventures onto my path, yet it always makes the adventures more beneficial, more fun!
When things like that happen it most definitely makes the journey more adventurous.

It does require a certain awareness, a way of staying in touch with the progress we are making while making our plans happen. First and foremost this is important to keep track, to know when we have reached our goals. Yet it is only through that awareness can we pick up on the subtle messages, the shifts in energy, that guide us to the most beneficial outcome ~ the very best way it can all come together.
Whether that is on our personal journey, or in a more mundane setting.

When that happens, be sure to tell yourself and the world with a big grin on your face: ‘I love it when a plan comes together!’
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Preparations

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As the end of the year is approaching, there are all kinds of preparations going on…
Preparations for the Holidays; getting the decorations all in place, stocking up on candles; for the big dinner with family and friends… And then there is the New Year’s celebration that needs preparing for. And if you would wish to do so you can even prepare a list of resolutions for that magical date: January 1st.

With all the things that need to get done this year ~ things like finishing up work related items, getting the books in order etc. ~ and the preparations for the year end celebrations, it is easy to find yourself so busy that this other ‘turning point’ goes by almost unnoticed: the return of the light; the Winter solstice.

As far as preparations go, this may be the most important moment within the last ten days of the year. The ‘return of the light’ starts a period of turning inward, of examining what we have accomplished over the past year as well as looking at which things we would like to achieve in the year to come ~ and how we want to go about actually achieving those goals.
Those last ten days of the year, starting with the Winter solstice and going up to New Years Day when we state our New Years resolutions, are without question the best ten days for preparation ~ preparing ourselves for the year ahead.

The things to keep in mind when we prepare ourselves for what lies ahead are:
Choose as your goals the things you really desire, yet keep your goals realistic. In other words, set goals that as you work towards them, you will achieve.
Create a structure through which achieving your goals becomes easier. For instance, if your goal is to finally lose those ten pounds, find friends who will support you in doing so ~ or perhaps even friends who also want to lose some weight so you can reach your goals together.
Come up with a clear ‘milestone’ at which you recognize that you have reached the goals you set out to achieve.

Just like the Christmas dinner shopping list can get bigger and bigger as it is laying on the counter ~ so too can the list of our goals for the next year grow longer and longer. As this happens it is important we don’t set ourselves up for a continuous ‘overwhelm situation’ that lasts a year and makes reaching our goals harder than it needs to be ~ we are often better off choosing three goals: a personal or ‘inner’ goal, a work related goal, and a goal that either has to do with education, or with the way we experience and express our spirituality.

We know that preparing for the Holidays makes them even better!
And it is the same way with preparing ourselves for our next year…
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Pinpoints

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In the grand scheme of things it is often just a pinpoint that can be the catalyst for changes to start rolling into our lives. It can be a pinpoint of time, the moment when we suddenly know with absolute clarity that from here on out, nothing will be the same ever again. It can be a pinpoint in a situation; the point in the process at which we know with great certainty what the outcome will be, and how we can get there. That pinpoint of time, of energy, of experience that signifies a boundary between ‘before’ and ‘after’.

Sometimes those pinpoints in our lives are things that ~ according to a sensible, logical perspective ~ we wouldn’t have wished in our lives; or in anyone’s life for that matter. They can be accidents, illnesses, or even the experience of a great loss.
But they can also be enlightening experiences. It can be that moment when we finally take a step back, have a good look at ourselves and the situation we are finding ourselves in, only to start laughing ~ kind of like ‘How did a nice girl like me get in a place like this?’ And as the laughter breaks the tension of the situation, we may find that the world is a light and wide open space that is waiting at our feet…

These pinpoints all seem to mark a point in our lives where we change our attitudes, our outlooks; our perspectives on the world around us, and consequently how we view ourselves and our personal lives.
From now on everything will be different.

Yet while we expect changes to take effect overnight, this is not always the case.

In truth, how quickly we can start seeing the actual changes in our lives does depend on what is happening in our lives at that moment, the choices we feel we have and the decisions we make.

After having had an epiphany, we may choose to turn around and walk away from everything we have known and valued up to that (pin)point in life ~ making sure the changes to our lives are pretty much instantaneous.
Or we may go after changing our inner selves rather than the (outer) circumstances ~ in which case chances are the changes will take longer to take effect. After all, even though we know we have changed; we may not quite know exactly how we have changed; how our attitudes, our perspectives are now different ~ and therefore it may take time before we know precisely what we wish to change in our lives.

As time passes and we can look back on that period in our lives, one curious thing remains: we can always pinpoint with enormous accuracy at which moment we changed from ‘before’ to ‘after’.
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Waste

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There is an ever growing awareness on waste. How much we are wasting; what we are wasting ~ and its effect on our environment and the earth.

Pretty much the first thing that happened as we became aware of the negative effects our wasteful culture has, were a great number of recycling programs. Literally taking that which we throw away and making new products out of it. When you look around ~ at least where I live ~ you can recycle plastics, glass, metal, anything ‘green’ as in the little bits of vegetables we don’t want, up to the clippings from our gardens after having pruned the plants. And then there is any wood ~ trees or even wood from a remodel of our houses; bricks and other rest materials can be recycled. Even the corks from wine bottles can be recycled…
And this is a good thing!

However, the question remains why we have so much waste that we need these programs to recycle it?
Or perhaps an even bigger question; why are we okay with an attitude that says that if we no longer like what we have, we just throw it away?

It seems that the need to be ‘fashionable’ has never been greater. Having the right clothes, the right phones, the right furniture, the right car even are all more and more important. And when the fashion changes, our need to keep fitting in dictates us to throw out the old ~ even though the old is still very useable ~ and to bring in the new.
As this then becomes a pattern, we refuse to pay for quality items as we know that as soon as the fashion changes we will change with it ~ and hence the cycle of creating waste has started…

Ultimately, it is not the waste itself that may harm us in the long run; but rather the attitude that lies behind it. After all, if we are careful we can recycle and reuse a lot of the products we no longer want for whatever the reason.
Yet when we adopt an attitude that says that fitting in, becoming more like other people ~ for instance through wearing the same fashionable clothes etcetera ~  is more important than appreciating our own individuality; we may find ourselves on a slippery slope that can lead us to waste our uniqueness. And with that our distinct potentials may be left untapped ~ simply because they would set us apart from others rather than allowing us to fit in.

Now, that would definitely be a waste…
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Tolerance

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Those who visit the country where I live may say that it has a very tolerant culture. Having grown up here, and lived here pretty much all of my life ~ I’m not entirely sure about it…

According to the dictionary ‘tolerance’ means: showing willingness to allow the existence of opinions or behavior that one does not necessarily agree with. It comes with a certain open-mindedness, an unbiased, patient attitude; and a sense that being forgiving ‘makes you the better man’.

The danger in being tolerant comes from being too permissive. To let it change into a mentality of ‘anything goes’. Even being so tolerant as to tolerate intolerance ~ something that does happen; all in the name of tolerance…

In order to create a an open, unprejudiced society ~ we have a tendency to regulate tolerance. We start putting up rules and regulations as to what we can and cannot say ~ at least in public. We vote for laws that take away all measure of inequality; in a sense doing away with the age-old adage that says: “May the best man win”. And pretty soon it is not the person that is best for the job that gets it, but rather the person that gives the company an appearance of equality.

This also has an effect on how we view history.
Rather than learning from the mistakes we have made as a culture ~ often at least a couple of hundreds of years ago ~ we set out to re-write history; or at least bring down all things that refer to events that happened long time ago.
Now granted, there are things that probably shouldn’t have happened; yet this attitude is a sign of intolerance. An intolerance to our past; and if there is an intolerance of our past, there is likely to be an intolerance of ourselves in the present…

In all reality we as a culture are a very tolerant culture; having crossed into extreme permissiveness. And when we feel that we might be too lenient in certain situations ~ we seem to be more apt to feel guilty about it, than we are likely to be patient, open-minded, or forgiving about it.
Another way to put that is that it looks like we are far more tolerant towards others than we are towards ourselves ~ while at the same time having the idea that ‘anything goes’. That to say anything, do anything; to do exactly what we want to do, when we want it is okay ~ without giving any thought as to how that would affect others.

Yet that is no tolerance, open-mindedness, or patience; that is just plain selfishness.
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Time flies

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Today when I woke up, I suddenly realized that we had already passed the threshold into December ~ just like that; quietly like a shadow sneaking up on you when the sun sets on a Summer evening. And with that came the thought of how I had lost track of time.
It seemed like only last week that Spring came by… And wasn’t it just like a couple of days ago that Summer started with its ever lengthening evenings. And Fall; Fall had only just started, right?

Wrong.
The whole year has flown by ~ day by day, week by week ~ leaving no trace as they left.

Looking back more closely now, I know that I have been quite busy. Done all sorts of things at all kinds of hours. And yet, at the same time it seems that the things I had set out to do this year are still patiently waiting for me to finally get to do them.
It seems that with each day a lot of things do get done; except for the things I had promised myself I’d do today.

When a discrepancy in the experience of time happens like that, it hardly ever last as long as an entire year… On the other hand it does happen more often than one might think. Every time a day goes by much more quickly than we had anticipated, it can be because we were distracted, scattered ~ or so focused on something, that we literally lost track of time. By the same token, days we would want to go by a bit more quickly can seem to last forever.
Either way it means we are slightly out of touch with time in that moment.

And as we are out of touch with time, we are also out of touch with energy. It is as if we are operating on a slightly different frequency than everything around us is.
Time and energy are funny that way; they do have that particular correlation. And as long as we ourselves are functioning in exactly the same frequency of the energy around us; we can easily do everything we set out to do that day ~ often with time to spare to have some fun. Yet as soon as we find ourselves in that slightly different frequency, our sense of timing ~ and with that our experience of time ~ is off.
We can be running ahead of ourselves, being so focused on all the things that need attention right now; all the things that need to be done today ~ that time flies by; leaving us with hardly enough time to get it all done. Or we can resist to get going on something ~ procrastinating ~ and finding that time stretches almost into infinity that day.

Either way there is merit in taking a moment in order to realign ourselves with the energies around us before moving ahead with the task at hand.
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15 minutes

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If you have 15 minutes right now to do anything you would wish to do ~ what would it be?

Chances are that there are a lot of things you may want to do ~ perhaps even a ‘bucket list’ ~ that would take longer than 15 minutes… And it is easy to make that an excuse for not doing anything with those 15 minutes: ‘too short for a walk’, ‘I could only just get started with … and then the time is up; so it is no use’, or the ‘I just don’t have time for this right now’…

The obvious counter arguments are that a short walk is better than no walk at all; that if you get started today, you can continue tomorrow, and ~ lets face it ~ on a whole day, if one really wants to, pretty much anyone can spare 15 minutes to do something…

And as it turns out, there are a lot of things we can do in 15 minutes.

A relaxing hot shower after (or even in the middle of) a stressful day. Sitting in the doorway, just enjoying the afternoon sun. A quick cup of coffee. A walk around the block. Making one picture with your smart phone of something no further than a 5 minute walk away. Playing with the dog or cat. Really enjoying that cup of tea. Write a Haiku.
The list goes on and on ~ and I am certain that there could be lots of things on it that are perhaps more interesting, more involving.

Each and every one of those things may seem trivial.
Yet they are all things that are easy to do in 15 minutes, and for most of those things we don’t need anything other than those 15 minutes…

One may ask though, what is in it for me? Doing something relatively trivial for 15 minutes ~ what do I get out of that? Why bother?

For starters, using those 15 minutes to do something ~ anything ~ you wish, has the potential to turn your life around. It can change your attitude. It can help you break out of the routine of every day life where there is ‘no time’ to do the things you feel you really want to do. It can help you get started on a project that may take quite a bit of time and is therefore pushed out to take up ‘later’. It can help you look at your familiar surroundings in a totally different manner ~ allowing you to see new beauty in every day things. It can even help you write a book.

So really, if you have 15 minutes right now ~ what would you spend them on?
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“Me time”

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It seems to be one of those things that come with this point in time, and with the individualistic attitude we seem to have: me time. That special time that is just for us to do with whatever we want; that time we can enjoy in our own way, whichever way that is at that moment.
Advertising has known this for some time and they work with it from the perspective that ‘You are worth it!’ to get you to buy into that little bit of luxury that is just for you…

Sometimes just that 15 minutes of time when nothing is required from us is a luxury in its own right. Other times it might be a spa treatment. It can be that time you set apart to go for a run, or go to a fitness center ~ or it can be taking time to sit on the cough while drinking a cup of tea.
Yet whatever it is for you ~ we often feel that tinge of guild about taking that little bit of ‘me time’…

The reality is that we all need that little bit of time at least once a day to just be. To do nothing, if we wish. Or to do that something we really desire to do for ourselves.
Often even 15 minutes of just being still, just breathing, is enough to keep us from stressing out.

Funny thing is, we don’t even have to meditate. We don’t have to gain access to that other state of consciousness to have the benefits from that short period of ‘me time’ ~ as long as we set that bit of time aside for ourselves, we tend to be doing alright.

As soon as we feel, however, that we don’t have time to spend on ourselves; that we don’t have time to set aside that period of ‘me time’ for ourselves ~ it may well take a lot more out of us than just those 15 minutes we are spending on work, chores, shopping, or whatever is truly needing our attention at that time. It can surprisingly soon bring us in a position where we do everything that is required from us ~ where we are taking care of everything around us ~ without really taking time to take care of ourselves. And even when all of the things we are doing on a day to day basis are great fun; not taking that little bit of time out of our day to take care of ourselves can bring a great amount of stress into our lives…

In other words, we should cherish a little ‘me time’ on a regular basis ~ so we can breathe, and be that person we always knew we were deep inside of ourselves.
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Real Life Puzzles

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There are a lot of things that can be puzzling to us; things that we don’t see how it works or what the solution is. Even things that are different than they appear ~ in other words what we see is not exactly what is there. What is truly there may be more than what we see; or it can be less. Sometimes we see things that in reality aren’t there at all…

All these things end up to be puzzling to us. That is, until we take a closer look to see what is really there and in doing so, solve the puzzle at hand.

Other puzzles we may encounter in our lives are situations that we don’t see an immediate solution to. Perhaps especially those situations that make us think (or say) “What is a nice person like me coin in a mess like this?” And while we can have trouble seeing our way out os a situation like that, usually we do find a way to solve the puzzle ~ not only getting out of ‘the mess’ we are finding ourselves in, but perhaps also seeing how we had gotten there in the first place.

In a sense the hallmark of the more interesting puzzles in life is that there is that component to them that lets us ask questions like ‘how?’, or ‘why?’, or ‘what?’.

“How did I get into that situation in the first place?”
“Why do I keep placing myself in situations like that?”
“What does this situation, this puzzle have to tell me?”

The truly interesting thing about real life puzzles is the question how we use them in our lives.
Is that puzzling situation we come across in our lives in reality something we have created, have manifested, as a distraction in order to not have to look at the real issues at hand?
Or has that space in our house that is never big enough for our use ~ for instance because it holds things we value yet don’t do anything with ~ become the excuse to not use that space at all; and in effect stifling us in accomplishing our goals?

Typically these are things that are totally obvious to those around us as they often can clearly see how we use a particular puzzle in such a manner we don’t have to step out of our comfort zone ~ so we don’t have to change things…

This makes asking for input from other people a very useful step toward solving the puzzles in our lives. That, and the answer to the question “How do I use that puzzle in my life to my (dis)advantage?”
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Making a difference

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Often the most positive changes are those instances where we can truly make a difference. Where we can influence our own lives or the lives of others in such a way that they become better.

Something that can be done by solving our own problems, yet not by solving the other person’s problems. It can be done by changing our own attitudes, yet we may discover it to be difficult to change the other person’s attitude.
In other words ~ often we can affect the greatest difference in our own lives or in the lives of others by taking care of our own business and in doing so being an example for others to do the same.

That being said, of course their are always those instances where we can actually help another person. Sometimes just by listening to them. Other times by for instance doing their shopping, giving them a ride, or helping them cleaning their house.

Other ways in which we can truly make a difference is by engaging in volunteer work. Or by cleaning up a park in our neighborhood. Or by just picking up that plastic bag that is blowing around in the wind and putting it in a trash bin…

The one thing that all of these ways to make a difference have in common is that ~ no matter where we would like to make a difference ~ it is best done where we can touch it. Personally.
This means that we are most effective in making a difference in our own lives, in the lives of those who are close to us; in our immediate environments.
In other words, close to home.

This is not to say that we would not be able to make a difference on a far greater scale ~ we can!
Yet the changes in the world begin with the differences we make at home.
The way it works is that even the smallest change in attitude which makes a positive difference in our own lives will start spreading to those close to us, to our immediate environment, and on and on.
And while we may not see the effects of the difference we have made worldwide right away, that doesn’t mean that we didn’t make a difference…

It doesn’t help to just keep talking about the things ‘people should do’ to make things better, or to focus only on far away places; on things that are well outside of our realm of (personal) influence…

The one thing needed to make a difference ~ in our lives or in the world ~ is to actually do it. And to do so right where we can touch it. Within ourselves, at home, in our direct environments.
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Goals

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No matter how much we are hoping for it to be so ~ our paths through life are never a straight line. As it turns out, our paths aren’t even always leading us to our goals; or so it seems anyway… With every step we are taking along our paths, sometimes it seems we are moving on toward some kind of goal; yet the goal is unclear. And the further we are moving along that path; the more we may get an outline of the goal we are approaching…

It seems that reaching our goals not always has to do with decisions on our part as to what we want to accomplish, followed by a step by step process of planning, plotting and reaching the goal we have set for ourselves ~ sometimes it is more about accepting the goal that life is pushing us to. And to realize that achieving this goal is just as great an accomplishment as the goal we had planned for would have been.

This is something that ~ as often is the case in life ~ sounds more logical and easier than it turns out to be.

After all, we had carefully chosen our direction and set our goals. We had planned our steps toward that goal. And now suddenly something beyond our control has changed our direction; has changed our paths ~ has changed the goal. Changed it into a new goal that we may not even perceive as something that is important in our lives.

The thing is that whenever this happens to us there always will be decision points ~ even on that unfamiliar path ~ where we can choose to move on toward this new goal; or turn around and focus once again on the goal we had set for ourselves. It is our free will choice to do that; and looking at it from a more Universal perspective there doesn’t really seem to be a right or a wrong decision to make.

On the other hand our personal value system may well dictate which direction we will choose.
And we may choose for that direction we feel we ‘have to choose’ for whatever the reason. We will likely do a good job and achieve what we have set out to do…

Yet we may not find the same fulfillment in this achievement as we might have felt reaching the goal we had set for ourselves in the first place as we may always feel we have failed in reaching the original goal we had set for ourselves.

The only way ~ it seems ~ to truly feel good about our choices and the goals we will subsequently reach is to embrace them. To accept them. To fully and faithfully devote ourselves to that which life itself has brought on our paths…

And the funny thing is ~ they will almost always bring us more than we could ever have dreamed…
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Help

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We all need a little help at times. Whether it is talking with a friend; bouncing ideas of someone we trust, or help carrying the bagged groceries out of the store and into the car, to name a few…

In reality these are simple examples; often the help we need is in much more dire situations ~ and many a time we may find it harder to ask for, or even accept help in such situations.
There are many reasons why we feel it is hard to ask for help when we need it. Part seems to be that we feel it is up to us to solve the mess we have gotten ourselves into. Another part might be that we feel somewhat ashamed for having gotten ourselves into that mess… We should have known better; we should have made different choices; we should have done better, wiser, more productive, more prudent things ~ in essence telling ourselves that it is our fault to have gotten where we are and therefore it is up to us to get ourselves out of it.

Independent from our feelings about asking for the help we need, there are usually people around us ~ friends, family ~ who see our struggle and would so like to help… Who would love to tell us what the roadblock we have run into really is ~ as they are looking from the outside in, and can see with much more clarity what is truly going on…

There are many reasons why those who need help, and those who are eager to help cannot come together. Not in the least because the way we are walking our own, individual paths ~ and are handling the roadblocks we may encounter while doing so ~ is how we learn our life lessons. This means that if we solve another person’s problems for them ~ without giving them chance to understand why they ran into a roadblock in the first place ~ we are robbing them of their personal growth.

The one thing we can always do to help is to send love and Light to the person we are so eager to help. Without conditions; just the energy in such a way that they can use it as they see fit ~ whether that is in what we perceive is the right direction, or not.

The one thing that is not helping in any way is to keep sending ‘wise quotes’, and beautiful ‘feel good’ pictures to the person ~ creating an environment that says that it is okay for them to be in that place, that situation, that roadblock that they have ran into.
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Discipline

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Discipline is one of those words that doesn't have an altogether positive ring to it. The first thing that may come to mind is ‘being disciplined’; being punished. Then, after convincing ourselves that this is not the case here, what may come up is that we have to follow a certain set of rules ~ doing whatever it is we are doing just so ~ without having any wiggle room. This might imply that we are not allowed to (or cannot) be ourselves.

Although everybody will have their own line of thoughts, and therefore will have an individual perspective as to the opposite, or polarity of the word discipline. For me it is probably something like ‘flexibility’. The flexibility to adapt to changing circumstances. The flexibility to get stuff done while staying true to yourself.

Seems that ‘flexibility’ is a far better deal than ‘discipline’…

Yet as we are living in a time in which the energies of polarities are so prominent; it makes me think that there is a good chance we need both sides of this particular polarity as well.

Just following discipline could make us rigid. It could get us in a position where we would just be following (somebody else’s) rules.
On the other hand, being too flexible could take away any and all structure from our lives ~ leaving us like a leaf being blown around in the wind ~ and consequently we may not get anything done.

So chances are that the most useful point to be at is somewhere in the middle.
At that place where we have enough discipline to do the things we need to get done; while we are also flexible enough to actually do those things in their right time, and in such a way that it suits the energy of that very moment.

This means that looking at both polarities ~ at the full package of this particular polarity ~ discipline provides us with a structure, while flexibility gives us the necessary movement to adapt, to change the way we do things, or when we do them ~ to be able to bring them into perfect timing; suiting our own energy as well as the energy around us to a tee.

At this point in time this is true for pretty much all polarities.
The time where everything was measured by an ‘either, or’ standard are well behind us. Chances are that whatever it is we encounter on our paths will consist of two polarities that both are needed to get a balanced perspective.

It may just take a little discipline and a little flexibility to find that balanced perspective in any give situation.
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Thinking

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The first Universal law states that “All is mind, the Universe is mental” or in other words: “All is mind, mind is all”. So, whichever way you look at it, our thoughts are important.
More recent research indicates that apart from thinking, our belief systems play a large role in what we think and how we behave. Yet, through thinking ~ through reasoning it out ~ we can adapt our belief systems into a new set of beliefs, a new set of thoughts that serves us better as we are living our lives.

Therefore, without question our thinking is important. Not just what we think, also how we think. How we ‘reason it out’.

And yet, surprisingly we seem to refrain more and more from thinking  our own original thoughts; adhering more and more to thoughts other people think. We are ‘following’ blogs, people and pages on social media, and read up on news from independent sources to get ‘the real scoop’. We tend to ~ without much questioning ~ make the opinions of other people we trust, our own.

It seems that we are getting a bit lazy as far as our reasoning; our thoughts and our thinking are concerned… Up to a point.

Interestingly enough we are well aware of things that aren’t right in other parts of the world; in politics, economics, etc. And we have a tendency to more and more make ourselves heard in those areas ~ and that is a good thing!
But the closer to our own lives it comes, the less critical we are; and the more likely we are to just accept what other people tell us is good for us. Especially if that other person is a teacher, a doctor, or someone we have grown to respect and like as a person…

Often the advice we get is sound and worth following.
Yet it would be a good idea in any event to think it through for ourselves, and to register how we feel about the advice given. We may not like what we are told, and yet feel deep inside ourselves that it still is the right thing to do. If this is true, there is a good chance we ‘can reason out’ how it can play out in our lives to our benefit.
Doing this we would be astutely aware of those instances when the advice given is not going to be beneficial to us. When what we are told may make logical sense from the other person’s perspective; yet be outside of our own value or belief systems…

This means that one of the best things we can do for ourselves is to keep ‘reasoning it out’ on our own; and to keep thinking our own, original thoughts.
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Too much

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It is like everybody has too much to do. Everybody is busy with all kinds of things, often skipping some much needed ‘me-time’. Most of the time this has to do with our priorities; with how and where we decide to apply our time and energy.

Yet there is more that can easily overwhelm us; like the continuous sounds from our MP3 players. Or the fact that we can always be reached by phone, day or night, and wherever we are. TV programs where 50 years ago something special that was reserved for the evening hours, while now we can watch TV pretty much all day and all night.
In a sense one could even say that the fact that everything and anything can be talked about can land us in an overload situation. Although that may work slightly different than other things that come our way that are too much; for instance, it could be more because it doesn’t agree with our values and/or belief system. When that happens, just the fact that we have difficulty accepting the information that is coming our way ~ both in volume as well as in content ~ can mean that it all of a sudden takes a lot more of our energy and time than we envisioned.

The other thing that can happen when ‘too much’ is coming our way, is that we may start feeling uncertain about our values and belief systems. The question that comes up is ‘If this is normal, could it be that my perspective is not?’
Both that question as well as all the things and information coming our way ask for a reevaluation. They ask for stepping back just enough to truly see where we stand on it.

It is at that point that we may get help from unexpected sources.

What happened to me as I was stepping back from the flow of my slightly too busy life, is that within a week a number of TV programs came up that questioned the wisdom of being bombarded with ‘too much’. They stated ~ each in their own way ~ that this seems to be one of the causes that our cultures values are loosening up. Things that were private not that long ago, now are readily available to whoever cares to go after it ~ be it information, images, or experiences. And sharing any and all (private) information seems to be becoming the new normal.

Each of these programs doubted whether this new normal of ‘too much’ would be beneficial to us as individuals or to our culture...

When this is the answer I need in my life right now, I guess I’d better step back and start reevaluating.
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Back-ups

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When working with computers ~ and who isn’t nowadays ~ it is important to make a back-up every once in a while. To place all your ‘files and stuff’ on some kind of different, separate memory; be it a memory stick, an external hard drive or a number of DVD’s.

In doing so, it gives you the expectation ~ if not the certainty ~ that you can recover your work, fun, and whatever else is on your computer in case of an emergency. Things that can happen as computers are ~ like us humans ~ sturdy yet fragile. When pushed over the edge, the fall can be long and hard...

So as we feel it is ‘normal’ to create regular back-ups of our computers ~ it makes me think what we do for ourselves. What do we have to fall back upon when things go wrong; when we are pushed over the edge? Where can we recover our ‘files and stuff’ if something goes wrong?

It seems that it is a good thing to take a step back from all our activities at regular intervals; to step out of the flow of things in our lives in order to see what is going on. Often that is something that is hard to see when we are in the middle of things ~ moving away from it a little bit can create just that distance we need to start reevaluating our lives, to see if our priorities are still the way they work best for us; to examine whether what we consider our values really are ours and are still helping us along in life...
One could say that this is how we would do a back-up on ourselves. On our ‘files and stuff’.

The other thing that happens when we step away from the push of day to day life is that we get a much more clear picture as to what is going on. It really does help us to decide where to put our time and energy ~ much like we would ‘clean up our computers’ before doing that back-up, it allows for a clean up of all those little things that have crept into our lives; demanding our energy and attention while we are not even always aware of how they got there or what ~ if anything ~ they have to add to our lives.

In other words ~ even if it works slightly different for us as humans as it does for our computers ~ it is still important to take the time for a back-up every once in a while...
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Getting answers

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I think all of us want answers; I know I certainly do. Yet often the answer that is given is not exactly the information I was after. This may result in asking the proverbial 100 questions.
Not that there is anything wrong with asking questions ~ in a sense it is far better to ask those 100 questions than to never figure out the answer.

So perhaps even more important than getting the answers is to ask the right questions. What is it you really want the answer to? And often it pays to spend time figuring out what our question really is before we ask. Doing that ensures that the answer we are given will hold the information we were after in the first place.

In this day and age there are many possible ways to ask our questions, and to get our answers.
We can ask friends, family, mentors, teachers, coaches... Or we can enter the ‘world wide web’, stating our question in the search engine of our choice ~ receiving often tens of thousands of possible answers within milliseconds.
When we ask our questions in meditation, it may take a little longer to get the answers ~ partly dependent on how well versed we are in the meditative process; partly because it is easy to doubt the answers we get that way (Did I really get that right?); and partly because when we ask our questions in meditation, the answers may come to us in many different ways. Sometimes we get the answer right away in that very meditation. Other times the answer can come to us in a dream... Very often, once the question is stated in a meditation, life will give us the answer.

That sounds really cool! Yet what it means is that we are getting the answers we are seeking continuously as we are living our lives. Through casual conversation. Through something we read in the paper. Through a bird ~ or any animal really ~ that attracts our attention...
They are all answers to our questions; the difficult part is to figure out which of our questions is being answered; followed by realizing what the answer is, and believing that this really is the answer we were seeking.

Getting the answers is not as much about asking the succinct question as it is about the acceptance if the information we are given and the realization of all of its implications. It is often more about the process and truly ‘getting it’, than it is about any one answer we receive...
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Different places

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That place where we live; the same place we know inside and out, that is comfortable to us ~ is often a place of which we think it has little news to offer us. We know what is there, we know how to react to it as much as how it will respond to us.

Until we start moving to other places; places that we are less familiar with. Places that are different from what we know ~ sometimes culturally, or linguistically; or just as far as the scenery goes ~ have something new to offer to us. And as we are taking all the new things in, we bring back into our lives a certain sense of wonder...

It is that sense of wonder that allows us to look at our new surroundings with an open mind. To see whatever is around us at face value ~ without immediately tying it to our own interpretation. Not comparing it to what we already know; what we are familiar with.

The nice thing is that after having visited new places ~ and have activated our sense of wonder ~ we can when we return to our more familiar environment experience it too with our newly found sense of wonder.
It is like visiting different places gives us new eyes.
A new way of looking at things that we are so familiar with...

One could say that this is a process that would be very beneficial to us if we could use it for looking at ourselves.
Thing is, that in the routine of our day to day lives, we start looking upon ourselves as a very familiar place; a place that has nothing new to offer to us. We start seeing only the familiar sides of us; those aspects of us that are comfortable to us. The parts of us that we know inside and out...
And it is a good thing to every once in a while place ourselves in a position from where we can look upon ourselves differently; from where we can discover new and unknown aspects of ourselves.
It is a good thing to step out of our comfort zone every once in a while.

As soon as we step outside of our comfort zone, it is like we are visiting different places. And pretty soon a sense of wonder may overwhelm us, as we start seeing ourselves from a totally different perspective; doing things we never thought we could ~ or things we never thought we would be able to do.
Bringing those new discoveries about ourselves into our every day lives is no doubt the greatest advantage of visiting different places...
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Worry

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Nothing gets us worried as much as economic hardship, or trouble with a family member or loved one. And in this point in time one may well lead to the other. In other words, pretty much everybody has something to worry about nowadays.

As soon as worries creep into our minds, it seems like they start to blow themselves up ~ getting bigger and bigger, until we cannot see a way out anymore. At which point the worry has pretty much taken over all our rational thoughts about the issue at hand. It also has taken over our inner peace; that place from which we may start any meditation which can bring new insights into the situation.
In other words, as soon as we start worrying about something or someone, we may be stepping into a space that can be paralyzing us, ensuring no real movement to a solution will be possible.

The Dalai Lama says the following about worry:
“If a problem can be solved it will be. If it can not be solved there is no use worrying about it.”

To me, the interesting part of this quote is the first one; ‘If a problem can be solved, it will be.’ It doesn’t say that we need to solve it; it only states that if the issue or problem can be solved, it will be solved. Often this happens fastest when those who are directly involved take steps to solve it. If we are not directly involved, we may be able to guide and give direction to those who are ~ yet often our influence is limited. We cannot solve another person’s problems or issues. And when we start worrying about another person’s problems or issues ~ how ‘natural’ that worry may be ~ we are in danger of placing ourselves in a position where we have a hard time moving along in our own lives.

As such, worry is a negative energy to give to any situation. It has a tendency to add to the problem rather than to the solution.

When we feel worried, it is a good thing to evaluate whether we can influence the situation and bring it to a solution, or not. If we cannot solve the situation ~ as the Dalai Lama says ~ there is no use worrying about it.

When we are not worried, we can use our minds and our energy in a more open and productive manner. We can keep taking productive steps on our own paths. We can meditate, and send lots of Light and Peace to that situation we feel needs a solution ~ and in doing so perhaps we can illuminate the situation to such extend that those directly involved may find their way out of that, often scary, always unwanted situation.
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Waiting

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For most of us waiting, or having to wait, equals lost time. Time spent doing nothing while we would rather have done something. Sometimes that is something work related ~ especially when we are really busy and can use all the time we have. Waiting can then throw us off our game and send our schedule spiraling out of control. Other times we would rather have done something fun, something relaxing ~ yet here we find ourselves waiting.

Often when we find ourselves waiting it is a matter of timing. For that appointment to start; or for participants in a meeting to arrive. And truth be told, when any number of people have to wait starting a meeting because one person hasn’t arrived yet ~ especially if that person is known to be ‘always late’ ~ that is a little annoying...

There is also another kind of waiting ~ a kind that perhaps has more to do with time, rather than with timing. For instance waiting for the first warm day of Spring or Summer. Or waiting for the time when that birthday party is finally going to happen. Waiting for a vacation, for coming home, for starting that new job, for Christmas... We have all times throughout the year that we really like and we ‘can’t wait’ until that specific time finally arrives...

This kind of waiting has a greater sense of anticipation associated with it.
As a child we were counting the nights until our birthday would arrive ~ and with it the special attention and the presents ~ and the closer that day came, the greater our anticipation of how good it was going to be!
In a sense one could say that this type of ‘waiting’ is a journey in itself. And instead of letting our impatience build up; allowing our irritation to grow ~ in short seeing it as something that is plain wrong ~ we can look at it as a journey we are taking until we arrive at that moment where time and the anticipated event come together ~ our arrival, in a sense.
When we have built anticipation rather than stress, that ‘arrival’ is filled with happiness.

That doesn’t mean that we wouldn’t call that person on being always late for meetings; having a stern conversation in order to make clear what (if any) the consequences are for future tardiness.
It does mean, however, that when we are looking at waiting as a journey in and of itself, we don’t get stressed quite as much when we have to wait for something.

We are more apt to start looking what a few moments of waiting have to offer us ~ to see where this particular journey may be taking us...
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Grocery shopping

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There are many ways to do the grocery shopping ~ from going to the small ‘mom-and-pop’ stores in the neighborhood, to going to a well stocked supermarket; from the farmers market to the ‘week market’; or even doing the grocery shopping online and having your groceries delivered ‘into your kitchen’ as the TV commercial proudly proclaims.

Chances are the well stocked supermarket will give me the best chance at a ‘one stop shopping experience’. It is efficient, as I only have to visit that one store and I am done... So whenever I want to save time, it is most definitely the way to go.

But when I want to save money, experience tells me that I will be better off in visiting a number of stores ~ or markets ~ buying specific items at each store. It can easily add up to 10% to 15% of the weekly grocery bill. That doesn’t sound as much ~ looking at the percentage it may not even be worth the trouble ~ yet it means somewhere between €10 and €15 each week. In a month that adds up ~ and over a year it becomes ‘real money’.

Logic would suggest to take the money-saving route every time.
Time pressure makes me realize that I will happily spend the extra tenner to save an hour of grocery shopping.
Any kind of stress I may be experiencing can push the decision either way. Sometimes stress can be relieved by moving around ~ multiple store shopping ~ other times to get rid of stress it is best to take time to sit down with a cup of tea ~ which indicates that single store shopping is my best option.

Pretty much any decision we make in life is based on any number of circumstances, and often many options are available to us.
In reality, depending on what is going on in our lives at that particular time we make a choice of the options that are available to us at that time. This means that in similar circumstances, but at different ‘days of the week’, we may make different choices. Because all things considered, going ‘right’ was our best option on Monday; while going ‘left’ may make more sense on Thursday.

This is not inconsistent. It is being flexible. Choosing what is best for us at that moment, rather than choosing once and then sticking with that choice for the rest of our lives.
And it is therefore this flexibility that can help us a lot in our lives in the energy of this point in time...
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When life is taking over

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Every once in a while we may find ourselves in a situation where ‘going with the flow’ means that we drift from one thing that needs to be done right now, to the next. Even when we have our priorities straight; our energy levels and the time we have in a day seem to dictate what we do. how we actually use that time and energy. Especially if we are intend on ‘going with the flow’.

When something like that happens for a day, it is usually just a busy day. One of those days we can look back upon totally fulfilled because we got a lot done.
As it happens for a week ~ we chalk it up to experience, and we vow to change something in our planning next time such that this doesn’t happen again.
If it takes even longer, there is a chance it is becoming a pattern. A pattern that can bring with it quite a bit of frustration at that! Because there is never any time to do the things you wish to do...

I can’t help but wonder whether it means I am ‘going with the flow’, or if ‘life has taken over’; or even if it is just a case of ‘bad planning’.

‘Going with the flow’ implies a certain ease of living. We drift into the direction we want to go anyway, without an enormous effort on our part. So clearly this situation is well beyond ‘going with the flow’, as ~ while we are doing a lot of things each day ~ it tends to be harder and harder to also find fulfillment in the way we are spending our time and energy.

It also seems to be outside of the realm of ‘bad planning’ ~ specifically when we really do feel we have our priorities straight. After all, we are doing the best we can with what we got ~ and still have a really hard time to make it work.

That leaves ‘life has taken over’. A situation in which we are directed from a very different level of (Universal) consciousness, in order to get things done that otherwise may fall between the cracks ~ whether these things are prevalent in our own lives, or in the life of someone else.
The frustration comes from our own wishes and desires that ~ at least for the moment ~ are incompatible with the wishes and desires of the Universe.

Of course we always have the right to choose, to make a choice to not do all those things we find on our path. But that doesn’t make things going more smoothly necessarily as it means we are stopping life itself from ‘taking over’.

Yet as we shift our attitudes from what we want out of our lives, to what the Universe needs at this point in time ~ things start getting easier...
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The energy of the weather

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As the weather changes, the energy around us changes.
This is fairly obvious looking at the different seasons where for instance Winter has an introverted energy while Summer has an extraverted energy.
But even on a day to day basis, the energy changes as the weather changes...

Looking at the wind; it always has a flow, a movement ~ yet the energy of each movement is different. It is like the movement of the wind has an energy of dancing...
That way, the soft southern breeze is like a waltz, with flowing movements caressing all it encounters in its path. When it picks up in force, its energy may change into samba, or a rumba...
The northern breeze could feel like a tango, with a rhythmic, or perhaps more staccato quality. And when it picks up in force its energy could become something like an Irish jig.

The energy of a gentle rain is cleansing, purifying, and also nurturing and life giving. When it becomes a rainstorm its energy can change into a cleansing and transforming ~ or changing ~ energy. The rain ~ and later its runoff ~ will shape and mold the environment into something new.
A thunderstorm often has an energy that is more rejuvenating, bringing a new alignment into being.

The energy of the sun is a happy, upbeat, outgoing energy. Yet as it grows in strength it turns into a burning, fiery energy. A sharp energy that can cut like a knife.
It reflective energy; the moon energy is a much softer, kinder energy. A cool energy.

The temperature also adds its part to the picture. Crisp, cold temperature can be invigorating, where a more ‘covered’ cold tends to brings us together around the fire. And while the warmer temperatures may give us a ‘get up and go’ energy; once the heat gets to us it lets us take cover and rest.

Observing the weather from this perspective, all kinds of combinations of wind and weather can bring about different flows, different movements, different dances...

A soft, southern breeze under a full moon, with clear skies may feel like the enchantment of ballet. A western wind with bright sunny weather can have the activity and unexpected excitement of street dancing. An eastern wind under cloudy skies may carry the energy of a rave where all are moving in their own way to the same music.

The energy of the weather changes day by day ~ sometimes hour by hour ~ giving us the opportunity to change our step and move with it... It invites us to join in its movements and to start dancing!
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Back to the core

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It is just one of those terms that are used often, nowadays. In a business sense, going back to the core business means that (part of) the other activities that particular business is involved in ~ activities that may have grown out of the ‘core business’, the ‘core activity’ ~ will be stopped. If these new activities have been set up as separate businesses under the umbrella of the ‘core business’ ~ they are likely to be sold off.

The perception is that in going back to the core business, the business will become ‘leaner and meaner’; more flexible and better able to ‘roll with the punches’. And as such be more profitable ~ or at least will be able to survive the economic ups and downs...

On a personal level, back to the core means becoming centered again.
It is a perspective that is much like the way businesses look at it, as it is a process that brings us back to our true selves. Our core selves.
In order to get there, it is a good idea to eliminate all the background noise; all the things that we feel are scattering our focus and our energy. And in doing so, we become more flexible, and better able ‘to roll with the punches’.

In today’s world this is something that is easier said than done, however.
There are so many things required of us, so many questions asked, situations that need solutions, etc. that it is easy to loose track of what our core being is all about. We may find ourselves in a situation that we are so much jumping from one thing that needs to be done right now, to the next that needs our attention, to the next, to the next... that we lack the time or the focus to take a step back in order to see what is going on. Making it more and more difficult to recognize that we are scattering ourselves, our focus, our energy.

Yet there are things, kind of like ‘red flags’, that can help us come to the realization that it is a good idea to do things differently. That it is a good idea to go back to the core of ourselves.

For me this is when I start having trouble coming up with topics for this blog.
When my mind draws a blank on what to write about; when there are no words flowing onto the computer screen in front of me anymore... That, to me, is a sure sign that I need some ‘me-time’ in which I can center myself. Time to start walking that path back to my core...
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Complaining

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Throughout life there are any number of things worth complaining about. Like when the garbage truck through some inexplicable twist of fate fails to pick up the garbage in your street on ‘garbage day’. Or when that brand new rain jacket the very first time you are wearing it out in the rain allows water to seep through soaking your clothes.

Yet there are an even greater amount of things that aren’t even worth complaining about... Looking at the facts they turn out to be just tiny nuisances that are just part of every day life.

The weather is not a bad example. There are complaints when it is to cold, or too hot, or too wet, or too dry... And the weather that is perfect for one person is bound to leave something desired for the next person.

And then there are the things that are just different than we want them to be. They are unanticipated, unexpected ~ or just different. Not quite the way we ourselves would have put them together (if we had had the bright idea in the first place, then put in a lot of work to put it together and make it available to the world).
It is those things that are beyond complaining.
By the time we start complaining about things like this ~ we are at a point where we complain for the sake of complaining.

When we start complaining about anything and everything because ‘it should be different’ or ‘it should be better’ ~ in essence we are creating an energy that says that nothing is ever good enough for us. No matter how well thought out something is; if we look hard enough we can always find something we don’t like about it, something that could have been done better, or just different, that we can complain about. Saying that it isn’t good enough.
Often it is not just about products that are for sale, services that are offered by other people; when we really get in the swing of complaining for the sake of complaining ~ pretty soon the things we ourselves are doing aren’t good enough either. To a certain extend the complaining becomes an expression of extreme perfectionism...

As we are the creators of our own lives, manifesting into our lives the things we desire, both through our actions as well as the words we use ~ it makes me wonder what we are creating for ourselves when complaining has become a way of life...
When we keep telling the Universe that what it brings on our path isn’t good enough...
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Deadlines

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It seems that I do my best work when there is a deadline involved. That moment in time when a piece needs to be delivered, when an appointment is made at which time all the parts need to be in place.
This is not just true for my work, but pretty much for all things in my life.

I guess I am a procrastinator at heart...

The funny thing is that I really love my work! I truly feel I have the best job imaginable Then why do I stretch things to their limit? Why do I have this tendency to push things ahead of me until there is no more time left?

Part of the answer lies in priorities ~ or lack thereof as the case may be.
The problem is that there are too many things fighting for my attention. Work, family, personal time, social time ~ and the occasional ‘emergency situation’ that needs to be taken care of right now...
Recognize that?
I feel ~ an really hope I’m right at that ~ that I am not the only one having this need for deadlines to get whatever is obviously on the top of my priority list at that moment, done.

So what does that say about our state of being?

It does seem to tell us that we have way too much on our plate than is healthy for us. Rather than choosing to do whatever we like doing most at that time ~ choosing to do that which makes us most happy as we are doing it at that time ~ we end up doing things we feel are expected of us. In other words, we tend to say ‘yes’ more often than we should when asked if we can do something. And as a result we end up using the stress of time pressure as an indicator pointing out to us what aspect of our lives has made to ‘priority status’.

Whichever way we look at it, it is a situation that can seriously impede our balance, and as such be hazardous to our health...

Now, I’m not saying that we should disregard deadlines. There are things that need to be done by a certain time ~ and there is nothing wrong with that.
However, deadlines should not rule our lives. When we find ourselves racing form one deadline to another ~ it may be a good thing to take a step back, take a deep breath, and rearrange our priorities.
And perhaps even put ourselves back on top of that priority list...
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Assumptions

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According to the dictionary an assumption is a thing that is accepted as true or as certain to happen, without proof. And I am assuming that the dictionary meaning takes ‘proof’ being factual proof rather than proof as it can be found in personal truth or intuitive insight...

Often, when we are assuming something, we know part of the story or situation and we fill in the blanks based upon our own logic or previous experience. And this way we make it our story rather than the experience of a line of events of those actually living it.
The truth is that if we don’t have all the facts, we shouldn’t write that story. If we feel we do want to write about it, it would be a good thing to ask what is really going on. To get the facts first...

That being said ~ it seems that most people find it way easier to make assumptions than to ask for the facts. As long as we make assumptions, we make the world around us more like the way we would like to experience it. We draw the picture with colors that we not only like, but that are also pleasant for us to look at. This way, we can draw a more positive picture, or a more negative picture, or even a picture that is ‘neutral’. Yet as it is not based on all of the facts, either way the picture is wrong.

Still, making assumptions is a very human thing to do.
And there are things that we accept as true that turn out to be true ~ even though we never had proof of it. By the same token, some things really do happen the way we had believed they would happen.
In all the instances where our assumptions turn out to not quite be ‘the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth’ ~ we often made them because as a human being we like stories with a beginning, a middle and a (satisfactory) end.

Yet in our search for a world view that fits our understanding, the moment we start making assumptions we make things less open, and more complicated. As soon as we make an assumption on how a certain situation will play out, we have blocked ourselves from seeing other avenues; other outcomes.
Assumptions not only short change the people living that particular story or situation; they also make us ourselves less than we can be. Less open minded. Less honest. Less helpful.

Then, when we find out that things aren’t quite the way we assumed they were ~ we can be in for a rude awakening...
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Thin walls

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I live in a row house with thin walls. That is the way they built them just over a century ago ~ small row houses, inexpensively constructed with one tap, one heater, a (very) steep stair case, and thin walls.
Right now, these houses are not really considered ‘family dwellings’. Singles or couples occupy them, and as soon as they start a family, they tend to move to greener pastures ~ conceivably bigger, a nice bathroom, kitchen; and a bit more privacy...

In a sense the thin walls make for a certain oneness with the neighbors. My neighbor on one side likes cooking and the way we can hear the chopping of veggies etc., I guess he is good at it. My neighbor on the other side has his son over every other week. His son is young and a lot less quiet than his father.

To those who are not accustomed to living in old buildings that not only have the creaky floor boards ~ and that one step on the staircase that always makes a noise ~ that come with age, yet also have the thin walls and lack of isolation that bear the memories of times long gone by this may seem annoying. On the other hand it does give a certain sense of ~ unanticipated ~ oneness within the neighborhood. As we can hear at least part of our neighbors lives, it makes it easy to keep an eye, or in this case an ear out for another. And when there are sounds that should not be there, nine out of ten times these are investigated.
A built in neighborhood watch system.

Anyone living in row houses like where I live knows a thing or two on how to gain peace and quiet.
First and foremost, playing the radio or any kind of music in the background has a tendency to drown out next door’s sounds. In some houses sound insulation has been installed, and when new floors are constructed great pains are taken to have the beams in one house not touch the beams in the next house...

Yet as it is, there is just one thing that works without fail; to accept the fact that some sounds will filter through. And that acceptance makes it possible to not get upset about the noise next door.

Very much like one can learn to meditate with all kinds of noise around them. Through acceptance that it is there, and a sense of oneness in which that noise becomes part of the music of life...
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Coping skills

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Coping skills, the way we handle difficult or stressful situation we may find on our path, are learned very early in our lives. Usually in our first four or five years ~ during the time when we are functioning almost entirely through our subconscious minds. This means that during these early childhood years we learn things through experience and through observation.
It also implies that the things we have learned during this time are locked firmly into our subconscious minds such that something like our coping skills kick in the moment we need them, without even having to give it a second thought. In other words, we don’t think about it ~ we act.

This is both good and bad...

The good thing about it is that if we have been raised during those early childhood years in a balanced, ‘sensible’ environment ~ what gets to be locked into our subconscious is a balanced, sensible outlook on life, and in all likelihood a set of balanced, sensible coping skills.

On the other hand, if the environment we were raised in was in a more or less continuous turmoil; an environment where stressful situations weren’t handled, but moreover just walked away from ~ we may find ourselves late in life lacking those balanced sensible coping skills that are so useful in our day to day lives.
Once adults, we will follow the example our parent gave us way back when...

So if our parents, rather than handling the situation, walked out of their relationship when the stress got to be too much to cope with for them ~ chances are we as adults will do the same.
If (one of) our parents sought refuge in a fantasy world, into a different reality, when life got too hard... Or escaped into over-eating, or drugs, or alcohol... We may just follow that example if ever we encounter a stressful situation we feel we cannot cope with.

In these times of change we probably can all use new, better suited coping skills than our parents had when we were young. And there are techniques to evaluate our existing coping skills in order to see how we would like to handle life differently. There are processes through which we can fill in the blanks ~ or add to the picture already there that which we feel we need to cope with our lives today.

And the better we understand where our coping skills are coming from, and learn how to handle things differently ~ ultimately the better we can cope with whatever we may find on our path through life.
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Conflict

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Every once in a while we may end up in a conflict situation. This may be a conflict or difference of opinion. A conflict of what we need out of a situation and what the other party is willing to offer. But it can also be a lot more personal, like an inner conflict.

An inner conflict is not just something us humans experience, one can see it in nature as well when there are two impulses that are equally as strong. And as long as neither one of them gets to be more important and therefore can be prioritized, there will be an inner conflict.
When this happens to cats, they will tend to sit down and start cleansing themselves. It is their way to step back from the situation and see what ensues ~ postponing the decision as to what to do next.

When we get into a conflict situation it is usually a cause for stress in our lives ~ whether it is a conflict outside of ourselves or not. Yet for solving the conflicts we may have in the world ~ with other people, in a job situation ~ we can easily find help of mediators. There are known processes to handle conflicts like that.
With inner conflicts ~ like between knowing what is expected of you and feeling where or who you want to be ~ it is often not quite as clear cut.
After all, there is a reason why you have ended up at the place you are finding yourself ~ and even if you don’t particularly like that place right now; that reason is likely to be a pretty good one... Just turning your back at it, change directions and never look back may therefore not be an acceptable way to solve the inner conflict. On the other hand it is clear that something needs to happen to resolve it.

As it turns out, taking the example of our cats is not a bad way to go here. To just give yourself some time to not do anything. To step back from the (inner) conflict for a bit while you allow more clarity to surface.
Clarity on why you are unhappy about where you are at; clarity on what you want to take along as you are changing directions and what you will gladly leave behind. Clarity on what your first step toward a new place ~ or even a new you ~ is going to be...

Then, the only thing left to do in order to start resolving the inner conflict is to take that step.
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Insights

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Insights and the resulting revelations usually are exactly that: in-sights. Looking into one self or into a situation and suddenly seeing things differently...

It is always a process of discovery. Discovering more about ourselves ~ even when the initial insight is about a situation. Seeing our place in that situation; looking at how we are handling that situation can spark insights into ourselves. In how we perceive the world around us. In how we handle ‘stuff’ that comes up.
For instance, are we more apt to walk away from a situation we cannot ~ for the moment ~ solve? Or are we more likely to pick up the pieces ~ even solve other people’s problems if that means we can bring the situation to a satisfactory conclusion? Just looking at ourselves from this perspective can give us great insights in how we handle responsibility. Are we taking on too much responsibility, or too little?

And while we may take some time to examine how we are handling simple, every day situations in order to gain insights into ourselves ~ more often than not these insights are offered to us unbidden. Just by someone else saying something. Telling us something that we may not have thought of before; or even something we don’t want to hear. Or even by us hearing ourselves telling something to another person can suddenly bring that pang of recognition on how we are doing something in a way we really never wanted to (for instance the same way we always have seen our parents do it).
In a sense, there are unending opportunities to gain insight into ourselves in our day to day lives...

The difficulty often is not the realization of the ‘insightful moment’, it is the differentiation between which side of the issue we are on.
For instance, if we have a tendency to take on more responsibility than is ‘rightfully ours’; and an interaction or situation comes up that can bring this to our attention ~ it is really easy to immediately feel that we have dropped the ball, that we probably should have taken on more responsibility. Because that is ~ or has been ~ the pattern in our lives. In truth the interaction or situation may well have come to us so we can see where not to take on the responsibility of others and to let the chips fall where they may.
Or when someone keeps bringing up a past event ~ is it because we still have something to learn from it? Or because it is time to let go and move on?

The only way to find out which one it is, is to see into ourselves; to discover where we stand on it, and to apply that insight to the situation at hand...
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Times of change

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There is no doubt whatsoever that we are living in times of change.
Changes are happening all around us. And changes are happening within ourselves as we are changing our priorities, our attitudes, our goals... We are quite capable of handling our inner changes, just as the changes that are happening around us on average are manageable. However, when the changes around us coincide with the inner changes, we suddenly seem to loose track of where we are going...

It is at that point that we start looking at other people for advice.
What would you do in this situation? How would you handle these changes that are happening?
Often, just talking about it will help you get ideas and insights on what to do next. So finding someone who can function as a ‘sounding board’ is a good idea as it will help look at the situation, the changes differently such that you can find your own solution to whatever is going on.

And that is important!
Especially in this point in time the only solution that is going to work for us in the long term is that solution which is truly ours... That comes from within ourselves...

Still there are many people who are looking at others to give them the solutions, the guidelines or rules to live their lives by. Yet no matter how wise those others are ~ the solutions they are offering are their solutions; not ours.
On the other hand, when a solution is offered for a problem we are facing; just like that ~ without us having to do any of the hard work to sort things out; to learn about what is going on; to discover things about ourselves ~ it does have a certain appeal. In fact, a lot of people are willing to pay a lot of money to coaches, therapists, or ‘readers’ to receive just that: a ready-made solution that will let the problem go away.

“You have a fish, so please feed me ~ so I don’t have to go out and learn how to fish...”

One could say that with this attitude we are short changing ourselves tremendously, as it prevents us from discovering who we really are. Discover our strengths. All the things we find out we can do, even though we never thought we could. And the tremendous potential each of us has ~ if only we would permit ourselves to change into that wonderful, unique, capable person we can be!
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Flow, again

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As we learn more and more about how to ride the waves of the flow of our lives ~ as we get more and more used to working with this flow rather than against it ~ chances are that we will become better at it.

Right now ~ at east when I look at myself ~ looking at the flow of life as well as sensing the flow toward my goals can be a somewhat frustrating exercise. They seem to cross paths too many times, where one then carries the other away pushing my life in often unanticipated directions that seem to frequently move me farther from my goals rather then towards them...
The easiest way to reach my goals therefore seems to lie in aligning the flow toward my goals with my life flow to the extend that both will move in at least similar directions ~ and at best in the same direction.

While it is a fairly logical perspective, it is easier said than done.
To get the flow toward my goals aligned with my life flow to the extend that I can ride them as one wave, requires that I get to know myself a lot better than I do. For it to work that way, I need to discover my ultimate goal or life goal, and make sure that my more short term goals will move me in the direction of this ultimate, or life goal.

The question then becomes: ‘What do I want out of life?’ In the short term, yet more importantly from an overall perspective.

It is an interesting path, which in and of itself is a flow...

It is also a question as well as a path, or flow of discovery that we can only follow ourselves. Other people may point out where we are dropping the ball from their perspective, but chances are that they are only seeing part of the picture and are focused on our stated short term goals.
As such, pointing out where we are failing can sometimes be just enough to change the direction of the flow we had so carefully built ~ or stop that flow entirely. Especially where any form of creativity is involved it is something that happens easily.
It can leave us frustrated that we have to not only evaluate the merit of the often well intended comment, but also have to rebuilt the movement and flow we had established to the point where we can start riding it again.

The good news is that the more we practice, the better we get at it, and the more fun it is going to be to ride the wave!
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Flow

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Where the energy 15 or so years ago was geared toward taking defined steps toward our goals in a structured order, right now the energy has become more of a flow.

This means that say 15 years ago we could plan with our goal in mind to take steps ‘A’ through ‘Z’ knowing where each step would bring us pretty much in advance ~ this is in the energy of today not the case anymore. The best we can do today is to direct the flow of events in the direction of our goal, and then enjoy riding the wave...

While 15 years seems a long time; it is not when we consider that we have learned to set our goals, plan the steps to take and then taking those steps ~ even when we had to push sometimes to make it happen ~ in a structured manner for hundreds of years. It has become an ingrained pattern through which we have come to reach our goals. This is the structure, the framework we should follow to make things happen.
Yet with all the changes going on in the earth, in the Universe ~ and therefore in the energies around us ~ the old, structured way of accomplishing our goals doesn’t seem to work quite as well as we had come to expect over past centuries. As it turns out, while there are still steps to take to get us to our goals ~ it has become increasingly hard to see the sequence of those steps ahead of time. Often the best we can do is to take a step in the direction of our goals, and then see where it is taking us. Based on that, we can define our next step toward our goals...

The more we loose the structure of the old age, the more there is a flow of energy. And each step we take toward our goals curbs that flow into the direction we desire to move into.
Sometimes this will lead us into ‘rapids’ which allow us to reach our goals faster and more effortless than we could have ever suspected. Other times the flow of life itself may carry us in a different direction entirely. This is not to say that we won’t reach our goals, but more that it will take a little longer; that we perhaps need to be a bit more patient.

Where in the past we could set the steps we were going to take in motion to then sit back until we had reached step ‘Z’. As long as we would keep the energy moving, this more often than not worked great.
In this point in time getting to where we want to go has become a little easier from the perspective that once we have given direction to the flow we can ride the wave ~ yet we had better stay on top of it!
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Public outcry

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There is no doubt in my mind that we are living in changing times.

We are changing, our lives are changing. Our values are changing. The very energy around us is changing... It stands to reason that we will come to expect our governments to start changing too. Perhaps not necessarily in changing political directions; or even changing political leaders as such. But certainly from a perspective where the conduct of our political leaders changes...

As of now it seems like politicians are still operating according to ‘how it has always been’. With all the political play, backstabbing and yes, a certain amount of dishonesty ~ or at least circumstances where not the whole truth is being told. And not in the least an attitude that they will tell us what is best for us.

In more and more situations we know very well what is best for us ~ and that is not always the same thing our governments tell us is best for us.

And as we are changing, our lives are changing, our values are changing ~ and governments that are still telling us what is best for us according to old, if not ancient, standards; a gap is opening. In essences a gap between ‘us’, the public, and ‘them’, our leaders.

In any number of situations where common sense seems to point toward a good solution ~ which then is blocked by our leaders because it doesn’t fit their perspective on the (or even their) future ~ a public outcry ensues.

This becomes quite obvious on the internet where more and more sites come up organizing petitions for a great variety of causes.
Some of the causes are local. Others are focused worldwide. All of them call on the public to make a difference. In a public outcry.

A public outcry that can easily become a ‘grass-roots-movement’ that will ultimately move the changes we are all already experiencing up into local, and later country-wide leadership. And while at first it seems like the public outcry causes discord, ultimately it has the potential to bring a sense of oneness into being that heretofore has been unknown to humanity.

Now, this doesn’t mean that we all should join any cause that crosses our view as we browse the internet. Discernment is a good thing! But if their is a cause that is brought to your attention that really strikes a cord with you ~ joining it may do more than helping out that one cause...
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Living by your own rules

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It is certainly a good idea to live by your own rules.
It does require that you discover the things that are important to you; the things you value above all else. That you find your own truth, and are willing to to act accordingly.

In doing so, you may set yourself apart from others. In living according to your own rules you set yourself up to express your unique potential to the fullest extend. You place yourself in a position to truly shape your own life. To manifest life the way you want it to be, on your conditions.

That is a powerful position to be in!

The danger of living by your own rules lies in the possibility that you only accept your own rules. and discard all others. Whether they make sense or not.

Every once in a while we may see that happening in traffic, where people sometimes seem to create their own rules to act on ~ and consequently they may drive a exceedingly high speeds, run  traffic lights or do something simple like parking in a ‘no-parking-zone’. Because as they have their own set of rules, the regular traffic rules don’t apply to them...

A similar situation may come up while traveling, hiking or sporting.
The difference is that while in traffic we usually on some level understand quite well why those rules are there ~ even if we don’t like playing by them ~ we don’t always have the same comprehension of why the rules exist and what the consequences of breaking them are. And even when we do grasp why the rules were set up ~ for instance to keep us safe while embarking on an endeavor that we may not be very familiar with ~ we feel that ‘bad things only happen to other people’. Therefore the rules don’t apply to us.

In the first example, we don’t only put ourselves at risk, but also all those around us at the time. In the second example we mainly put ourselves at risk. Although when we do get into a situation where we need rescuing, those coming to our aid may enter into a dangerous situation just because we felt that the rules don’t apply to us. Because bad things don’t happen to us.

Because we live by our own rules ~ to the extreme.

It is a good thing to live by our own rules. It is also a good thing to play by the rules of society ~ like traffic and safety rules. As with most things, it is all about keeping the balance. Yet if we do keep the balance, we will find ourselves to be very powerful people.
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Simple

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Nowadays, it seems that nothing is simple anymore.

There are so many things we need to do ~ chores, grocery shopping, spending time with family or friends; not to forget our jobs... On top of that we are bombarded with information through TV, radio, and the internet. Luckily we have music to listen to on our MP3 players or phones when we are on our way to get from one place to another ~ which can automatically be interrupted when somebody tries to reach us by phone, email, etc.
All in all this has us on our toes 24/7. Busy with something all the time.

Pretty soon our lives that at one time seemed so clear and simple, get to a point at which things get muddied; messy. We try to focus on so many things ~ non of them necessarily complex ~ yet the multitude of them seems to make even the simplest among them difficult.

Before we know it, we find ourselves in a potential overwhelm situation.
And nothing we think or do is simple from that moment on.

It is when I reach that point that I think to myself: life shouldn’t be as hard as this. Life should be much simpler...

So I start organizing my schedule, taking a bit more time to rest. I begin setting up to-do lists, don’t forget lists, and so on. And it works for me at least for a week or two ~ after that I slowly but certainly slide back into the same hectic overwhelm situation. Until I come to that point where I tell myself that my life should be much simpler... Again.

The thing is, that up to now I have tried to fix the complexities of my life by organizing everything around me. It occurred to me that the one thing I never tried before is to change me.
To see what attitudes I have that stand in the way of my life being the simple, focussed life I desire. To explore ~ looking at all the things I do ~ what I really want to do, as opposed to doing them because ‘I have always done them’. To find out where I can be most productive; where I find most fulfillment.

As it turns out this approach works much better for me.
The more I learn about what my part is in creating the hectic every-day environment I so want to escape ~ the more I discover the ‘real me’.
And the simpler my life is becoming...
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Pets

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I am not ashamed to admit that I talk with my pets.
And with the trees across the street, the flowers in the patio, and sometimes even with the weather. As it turns out, one could say that I am in good company; the aunt of the Dutch King, as well as the son of the British Queen have in the past eluded to the fact that they talk with trees ~ I can only assume that they also talk with their pets, as well as with nature in a broader perspective...

Like many people who talk to their pets, I am pretty much convinced that they talk back to me. Perhaps not in words, or conveying any complex issues. But they are certain to let me know when the food is not exactly as they desire ~ and a look is often all it takes. Followed by the noses going up in the air, and a haughty departure.
It is a lot more difficult to determine what the message is when it is not instigated by my actions. When things are changing in the neighborhood; when something is ‘in the air’ ~ pets have a tendency to  keep working on getting that message across. What it is, who it is about; the bigger the change, the more insistent they are.

And it is not just pets who have a lot to say about those things; as it turns out pretty much all animals react and are ‘talking about it’. Ever wondered why that flock of crows suddenly seemed to take up residence in the nearby stand of trees, making lots of noise ~ only to disappear as suddenly as they arrived. Sometimes already after just a couple of days? Or why that one year your garden was suddenly filled with ladybugs? Why the dove as it flew away dropped that one feather right in front of you?

It is not like only our pets communicate with us; it is just that we get more used to our pets, to the way in which they attract our attention when something is going on. We get used to their ‘language’, just as they learn ours ~ making communication easier.

However, that doesn’t have anything to do with actually listening.
Our pets can have a perfectly clear understanding of what we would like them to do at that moment, and still pretend like they didn’t hear us. With us humans it is often the other way around ~ we are totally aware that our pets are trying to get our attention, yet we truly have no clue.

I often wonder about all the things our pets can teach us, if we would understand...
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