Tuesday, September 10, 2013


Every once in a while we may end up in a conflict situation. This may be a conflict or difference of opinion. A conflict of what we need out of a situation and what the other party is willing to offer. But it can also be a lot more personal, like an inner conflict.

An inner conflict is not just something us humans experience, one can see it in nature as well when there are two impulses that are equally as strong. And as long as neither one of them gets to be more important and therefore can be prioritized, there will be an inner conflict.
When this happens to cats, they will tend to sit down and start cleansing themselves. It is their way to step back from the situation and see what ensues ~ postponing the decision as to what to do next.

When we get into a conflict situation it is usually a cause for stress in our lives ~ whether it is a conflict outside of ourselves or not. Yet for solving the conflicts we may have in the world ~ with other people, in a job situation ~ we can easily find help of mediators. There are known processes to handle conflicts like that.
With inner conflicts ~ like between knowing what is expected of you and feeling where or who you want to be ~ it is often not quite as clear cut.
After all, there is a reason why you have ended up at the place you are finding yourself ~ and even if you don’t particularly like that place right now; that reason is likely to be a pretty good one... Just turning your back at it, change directions and never look back may therefore not be an acceptable way to solve the inner conflict. On the other hand it is clear that something needs to happen to resolve it.

As it turns out, taking the example of our cats is not a bad way to go here. To just give yourself some time to not do anything. To step back from the (inner) conflict for a bit while you allow more clarity to surface.
Clarity on why you are unhappy about where you are at; clarity on what you want to take along as you are changing directions and what you will gladly leave behind. Clarity on what your first step toward a new place ~ or even a new you ~ is going to be...

Then, the only thing left to do in order to start resolving the inner conflict is to take that step.

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