Stuck

Have you ever felt stuck?
Perhaps even after having given it thought, after taking action to move forward, or even after taking steps to release the patterns and habits that make you feel stagnant; and you still feel stuck?

It is that very point where you feel you have done all you can do, and while you may be able to move forward a little bit, it seems like you never truly start moving again in the chosen direction of your path. A point that is often followed by frustration, or even indignation; after all, you have done all that was needed and here you are still not freely moving forward the way you intended or envisioned.

At one time or another we all seem to reach that point in our lives. Even when we have taken all the steps and have done everything right…

There seems to be something missing in the process…

The one thing that is quite natural, yet doesn’t help us in the least is when we have worked so hard to get ‘unstuck’, and the moment we start moving again we also start looking back. Looking at how those old patterns did at one point in time get in the way. Remembering how those old patterns had started in our lives to begin with. Recalling all of the situations where they have obstructed our progress…
And before we realize what is happening, we have negated all of our hard work, and brought the unproductive patterns that get us stuck right back into our lives.

In other words, we have to trust ourselves that the work we have done to get moving again is working, is the right thing to do, and will bring the results we are after.
Without looking back.

It is like writing that part of our story down in a book that we can then close. That story then becomes history (or ‘herstory’, as the case may be). It becomes an event that has happened in our lives; an experience that we have learned from, a process that has allowed us to grow stronger as we did the work to come to a solution. And while we can be ~ and perhaps should be ~ grateful for what it has given us, there is no need to look back.
We have moved through it, it is now part of our past.

With that realization we can now focus on whatever we want to make happen today. We can make plans for our (immediate) future.
And as soon as we find ourselves moving forward again we can heave a sigh of relief. We did it! We are ‘unstuck’ and moving into our next adventure!
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Farewell

Throughout our lives there are many times that we bid ‘farewell’ to people and places. Like when we move from one place to another, we say farewell to the home we have lived in ~ sometimes for many years ~ creating the space in our lives in which we can welcome the new house, and the new chapter in our lives. The same is true for finishing High School and moving on to the College of our choice. And as a group of friends scatter in order to start that new chapter in each of their lives, we bid farewell to them. Even changing jobs can have that effect on us; saying our goodbyes to our colleagues while looking forward to that new job, the new challenge, and the hopefully new and higher pay…

The same is true for place that we have been.
When we have spent time in a place that we particularly like ~ even if it is just for a vacation ~ leaving that place can bring a certain sense of sadness to us, as we are aware that we are saying goodbye to a place that has been good to us. A place that we may or may not return to over time; even when right at that moment we are confident we will.
Even in the times of old when our Tribe would travel north in Spring in order to spend Summer in their Summer camp, and travel south come Fall in order to escape the brunt of the Winter.

It is therefore a sentiment that is as old as the ages; that sadness mixed with the realization of how good a time it has been in this place, with this company…

No wonder that there are many ways to wish us well as we start our journey away from our familiar surroundings, and familiar faces.
From ‘So long!’, ‘Later!’, ‘Bye!’, to ‘Be safe!’, ‘Be well!’, or ‘Take care!’. And there are as many or more blessings like:
“A sunbeam to warm you,
A moonbeam to charm you,
A sheltering angel, so nothing can harm you.”
Or this one:
“May the road rise up to meet you.
May the wind be always at your back.
May the sun shine warm upon your face;
the rains fall soft upon your fields and until we meet again.”

But perhaps there is no wish so all encompassing as the Sailor’s wish:
"Fair winds and a following sea.”

Whether it is for our next trip, our next adventure; or for that last journey when we cross the waters to the other side, when it comes to saying farewell, I wish you fair winds and a following sea.
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Old to new

In the Netherlands, midnight on New Year’s Eve, the New Year is greeted with loads of fireworks. It is according to a tradition that the noise will scare away all evil spirits so that they will be left behind in the old, giving everybody the chance to start the new year fresh and clean.

And while I don’t care much for all the noise, I can appreciate the ritual.

It is part of our make-up to not like changes of whatever kind a whole lot. Not even when we know that the changes will bring improvements into our lives. Our immediate response isn’t as much that we are changing from old to new, but more like we are in a transition from old to bad.
And granted, when we are holding any changes at bay for long enough, chances are that whatever truly need to happen in our lives may not come easy. The longer we ignore changes, the greater the needed changes will com in with a bang!

And perhaps when it comes to that point, the ‘new’ that is coming in will appear to be bad. Evil even.

Maybe even so bad that the whole world will be in an uproar!
As such, whoever bad or evil we perceive is not a whole lot more than a messenger uncovering the things that need changing. The problem is that at this point truly everything that should be changed is uncovered all at once.
And then all hell breaks loose!

As has happened so often throughout history, there is a call to kill the messenger.

Now I have no bone to pick in recent events. Although they are foreboding with elections coming up where I live in just a few short months. And no, I don’t like the messenger, nor his message.

What is clear though, it is beyond time for changes. Changes in the way we view our societies, changes in our attitudes ~ both toward ourselves as well as toward others ~ changes in how we structure and organize our communities.

And that is the easy part.

The hard part comes with the changes in our personal lives; the inner changes. The respect we pay ourselves. The sense of friendship toward others, and the discarding of blaming anyone and everyone for the results of our choices ~ both in our lives as well as in our societies.

It seems clear that we are moving from old to new; not gently and evenly, but indeed with a bang!
And we can make the best of it by making the changes that are knocking on the doors of our own homes, of our own hearts…
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Connected

I can stand and watch swarms of starlings fly for hours, just wishing dusk won’t change into darkness quite so fast. Seeing them fly in huge numbers, never even touching each other, yet still flying like some grand choreographer is directing each and every single one of them is truly an awesome sight!
And most strikingly, that obvious awareness of where each individual bird is going, when it is changing direction ~ as soon as these large numbers take to the skies, each individual bird is connected to the whole.

It is like how each drop of water is connected to all other drops of water in order to form the ocean, albeit a bit more visible as we hardly ever see a drop of water as an individual entity.

This means that whether we are aware of it or not, we are part of a group consciousness to the point at which even the smallest thought or action affects the whole.

We can demonstrate this to ourselves by consciously smiling to people we pass on the street. Total strangers. And it may not happen with every person we see, but chances are that about five minutes in to our experiment people smile back at us immediately. Of course the same is true when we ‘broadcast’ grumpiness, but why try? Isn’t the world a better place when we are smiling at each other?

So, this is the nice part of the principle. The part that we pretty much all can agree on.

Taking it one step further it immediately becomes confrontational because that would mean that when things are taking place we don’t want to happen ~ because we are part of a group consciousness called ‘humanity’ ~ we too have had a part in it. Perhaps not quite as focused as the events leading up to the end result, but still… It means that our frustrations about the laundry having landed next to the laundry basket instead of in it ~ again ~ add to the frustrations of millions that can eventually set a chain of events in motion.
As such, even if we don’t like what is happening ~ even if that is happening at the other end of the world ~ we still have a part in it.

This being connected with all of humanity ~ and perhaps even with all of nature as well ~ means that it is incredible important to be balanced within ourselves. To be absolutely honest; even if it is just to ourselves. To transform our judgements, our angers, our shadows.
To become more and more aware of all people around us.
And by all means, smile at them!
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I hold you in Light

I hold you in Light
You who are traditional, liberal and you who are progressive
You who have voted and you who have not
You who are protesting and you who are cheering
I hold you in Light

I hold you in Light
You who are leaders, and you who are followers
You who make plans and foresee, and you who are easily surprised
You who take a stand, and you who draw a line in the sand
I hold you in Light

I hold you in Light
You who are fighting for a cause, you who are right and you who are righteous
You who are finding yourself in circumstances you cannot alter
You who are locked in a routine you don’t want to change
I hold you in Light

I hold you in Light
You who are struggling, you who are living day to day
You who are sailing smoothly through life
You who spend your time at home, and you who are out and about
I hold you in Light

I hold you in Light
You who have an open mind, and you who are biased
You who are loud and boisterous, and you who whisper truth
You who are unseen, and you who are in the spotlight
I hold you in Light

I hold you in Light
You who know it all and have seen it all
You who are ever searching and exploring
You who are truly celebrating life
I hold you in Light

I hold you in Light
You who are involved in the world, and you who inhabit the earth
You as an individual, a community, a culture
You as women and men, and you as humanity
I hold you in Light

I hold you in Light

For it is in Light
That acceptance and balance exist
In all colors and shapes and sizes
In factual truth and in personal truth
For it is in Light
That one light affects all others
Like the waves in the ocean
A loving glow that grows stronger
For it is in Light
That we are all connected
Like the drops in the ocean
A living web of Light on a living planet

I hold you in Light

Long drives

The other day I heard of someone mentioning that a two hour drive is a long drive. And there is no doubt that it is. However, whether we deem a drive to be long or short depends on many things.

At first there is the time it takes us to get to where we want to go. Some places are just around the corner, while other places take a bit of time to get there.
Second, a road trip taking scenic highways with hardly any other traffic on it may take us longer to get there, however it may feel like it was an easier drive.
Third, if we are really looking forward to events that are likely to happen ~ if we are filled with expectation of what lies ahead ~ the trip may seem a lot shorter than the actual time it takes us to get there. And by the same token, going home can have that same effect.
Fourth, if we are used to driving long distances, a couple of hours to go from one place to another may be a short drive. In our experience, that is.
Fifth, and perhaps most importantly; if we think that it will be a long, hard drive with lots of obstacles we will have to overcome ~ if we think that unfamiliar territory is hard to navigate and will take lots of time and energy on our part ~ chances are that even a relatively short one hour drive seems to be an endless challenge to us.

So, while the actual driving time can give us an idea as to how long a drive it will be going from where we are to where we want to go, it seems like there are many other factors that have just as big ~ if not a bigger ~ influence on our experience in actually getting from ‘A’ to ‘B’.

The same is true for our path through life.
As long as we feel that life has to be a struggle; that the ‘normal’ in life is that it is filled with obstacles, chances are that is what our experiences will be.
If we define our wishes and desires by excluding the things we don’t want to have or don’t want to happen in our lives, maybe we fail to see all the good things that are coming our way.

Perhaps it would be a good thing to approach life as if it is a scenic highway that we are driving in the sunshine ~ with hardly any traffic that could be hindering us in our progress ~ enjoying our freedom!
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Cravings

While we can crave many things at different points in our lives, craving specific and sometimes weird kinds of food seem to be most common.
The dictionary lists the craving for chocolate as a prime example.

The interesting thing is where the craving comes from; in other words, what makes us experience ~ and perhaps give in to ~ this specific craving at this moment.
The two big reasons are either emotional or bio-chemical.

From an emotional perspective we may feel that we have done something, reached some point where we really should reward ourselves with this special something. Or perhaps more so feeling a sense of discontent because of not doing what we set out to do ~ failing to achieve that goal we had set for ourselves ~ and therefore we can at least console ourselves by treating ourselves to that special something…

And while the celebration aspect of emotional cravings makes perfect sense and may even be a good way to honor our accomplishments, this is far less true for the consoling part of our emotional cravings.

Looking at bio-chemical reasons, our cravings may point us in an entirely different direction.
Suddenly that instant craving for chocolate may come up because we are lacking magnesium; which is actually very often the case. Taking this further, each specific ~ even weird ~ type of food; especially when it is something we normally wouldn’t feel like eating very often, may have a distinct vitamin or mineral that our bodies may need at that very moment.

This means that whichever way we look at it, it is a good idea to pay attention to our cravings. To ask ourselves whether the reason might be emotional, and if that is true, if it is because we are very happy about something, or rather because we feel the need to console ourselves. If we need that consolation, we may want to ask ourselves if we would want to go about that in a more fundamental, or even constructive manner; for instance through asking for help dealing with it.

If our cravings do not stem from our emotions, it makes sense to observe what our cravings have to offer us from the perspective of vitamins or minerals. Is our body trying to tell us that we are lacking something? For instance, could our tiredness be caused by such a lack of a vitamin or mineral, as opposed to ‘just being busy’? And is our body itself trying to solve this situation by instigate a craving for what it so desperately needs?
If that is the case, there may also be a way to handle the situation more constructively…

Either way, when we feel we are craving something, more often than not it is a signal from our bodies that tells us to take better care of ourselves…
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The way it is done

There are always certain chores and tasks that we do in a certain way ~ or perhaps at a certain time ~ just because it is the way it is done. It is therefore the way we have always done it, and it works fine; so why change it?

And in reality, if something does work for us, why change the way we are doing it?

On the other hand it does appear to be helpful to every once in a while evaluate what we are spending our time and energy on, how we are going about that, and why.
Not because we are doing something wrong, but more because sometimes we are doing things just because it is the way it is done.

This is especially true when we find ourselves spending a lot of time on something that, when we really start thinking about it, is not something we feel is a priority in our lives.
For instance, of course it is a good thing to do our grocery shopping. But is it something we want to spend time and energy on every day? Or would we rather do it once a week? Or even shop online and have it delivered?

The interesting thing is that if we were raised doing our grocery shopping a certain way, chances are we will do it in a similar manner when we are doing them for ourselves. Without truly questioning it, because it is the way it is done…
And when we start thinking about it there often are any number of things we do ~ or do not do ~ because of the way ‘it is done’…

Like getting busy with a hobby we may have; can we do that before all the work and chores are finished? Can we stop and smell the roses, or are there always other tasks that can be done ‘that are productive’. And can we pick that carrier we truly love, rather than going for a career path with a more or less guaranteed income?

Whether we run into any of those type of things or not, taking time to look at why we are doing certain things in a certain way may benefit us a great deal. Asking ourselves when we started doing the things we do in this manner, and so on.

We may discover that we have our priorities straight, but want to get things done more efficiently. Or we may find that there are things we are doing because our parents and perhaps even our grandparents were doing them ~ sometimes even in exactly the way we are doing them now…

Again, if that is totally working for us, there is no problem.
But perhaps we will find that what we are doing is not so much what we want to do in the way we want to do it, but rather that we are our parents’ and grandparents’ copycats, and that it is time to change our ways…
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