Criticism

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There are many ways in which we can be critical ~ and to be fair, not all are bad.
Sometimes it is good to be critical because it can show us different perspectives. When we are all enthused about something, we may only be willing to see the positive aspects of the situation ~ in a situation like that some common sense criticism can give us a better rounded view of what is at stake.

That being said, there is a world of difference between the well-meant ‘be careful, things may not be as rosy as they seem’, and browbeating the other person. And yet, there doesn’t seem to be a nice sharp line between the two.

One can argue that straight forward criticism is a lot easier to deal with than the veiled criticism ~ no matter how harsh is sounds. Even when it is given from a negative perspective there are still ways to deal with it.

Obviously the intent with which the criticism is given is large part in deciding which category it falls in to. But even the most well meant criticism can take the joy out of life as it takes away the sense of discovery, the exploration, the enthusiasm, and last but not least the permission to make ones own mistakes (and learn from them).

To me a type of criticism that is hard to deal with starts with ‘Why would you want to do it that way, there has to be a better way...’
It says as much that what I want to do is wrong, is not a good way to do it, is not efficient ~ come to think of it, why would I want to do it at all? And pretty soon I have a tendency to just drop the project in its entirety.

Another type of criticism that is hard to deal with is when it is personal. When who you are is criticized. It brings you quickly to a point where there is nothing you can do ‘right’, or sufficient.

But perhaps the hardest aspect of criticism is when a person feels that anything that is said in a conversation is said from a critical perspective. When any statement, any story, anything that comes up is taken personal as mean spirited, browbeating criticism.
In essence this is a type of criticism that comes from within the self. Somewhere between the words being spoken and the words being heard they are translated ~ or twisted ~ into a critical statement that is taken personal.
And there is nothing one can say or add to the conversation that can change that...

It gives us something to think about ~ when we feel critical, what in ourselves are we criticizing?
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‘Now say thank you!’

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I was picking up my groceries at the week market, and while waiting at the bakery I saw a youngster ~ she must have been three or four years old ~ be given a cookie. It brought a sparkle in her eyes and a bright smile on her face ~ and as she turned to her mom, her mom told her: ‘Now say thank you!’
She turned back to the person behind the counter and said: ‘Thank you’. It was immediately reinforced by her mom who said: ‘That’s a good girl!’

It is just one of those things we learn along the way ~ when we are given something, we say ‘thank you’. Whether it is a cookie when we are a youngster, presents on our birthday, a job well done, or good service in a restaurant ~ a ‘thank you’ is in order.

Later on in life we may come to the realization that there are a lot of things to be thankful for. To be alive, to be healthy, to be able to pay the bills, to have work, to have time off... And then there are family, friends, partners, co-workers... From a more spiritual perspective, being thankful for the good things that are happening in our lives, and for the ‘bad things’ as they provide the ‘growth opportunities’ on our life paths... The list goes on and on and on. And while we are likely to appreciate and be grateful for each and all of these things every single day of our lives, we may not say ‘thank you’ quite as often as we were taught to when we were kids.

Yet, as adults we don’t tell one another ‘Now say thank you!’, ‘That’s a good girl!’, ‘That’s a good boy!’.
When the gratitude is not forthcoming ~ whether that is factually true or in personal perception ~ it is a different discussion entirely when we have grown up. And it is hardly ever a pure black-and-white story. Suddenly things like body language, choice of words, tone of voice, and even the level of our energy at that moment come into the picture.
For instance, while one person may feel he has done a great job with something and the other person is not responding to it and therefore is not thankful or appreciative for our hard work ~ the other person may have been really busy themselves and simply not have had the time to see what great job has been done... In which case anything along the (more grown up) lines of ‘Now say thank you!’ is totally besides the point...

As it turns out, most people are grateful, appreciative people, even when they don’t say ‘thank you’ at every chance they get. And when the appreciation is not expressed right when you want to receive it ~ it is not to be taken personally...
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Ask, and you shall be given

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If there is something you want or need in life, and you fail to ask for it ~ even if it is in a meditation or a prayer ~ chances are it is not going to be given to you.
By the same token, be careful what you ask for, because you may get it...

It is a concept that revolves around a couple of interesting concepts.
For instance that one I grew up with: ‘children who ask will be skipped’. Or to always be thankful for what you have been given, even if it is not even close to what you wanted. ‘Don’t look a gift horse in the mouth’.
And then there is the issue whether we are worthy to ask for whatever it is we want. Are we deserving of it? Shouldn’t we just wait until it comes our way? ‘If it is meant to be, it will happen’.

These are things that we all may have grown up with to a greater or lesser extend; they are also things that as we grow up we can transform ~ we can decide that life works better when we ask for the things we want or need in life. We can be free to look at what we have been given ~ even the hand we are dealt ~ and decide whether it is something that is useful to us, that we want or need; or not. And certainly in this day and age, if there is anything we want to do do in our lives, we make it happen!

But what about things like respect, or appreciation? A ‘thank you’ for something you have done.
For these things the lines aren’t as sharp. While for both respect and appreciation it is said that they are earned, not given ~ it is also true that the more respect and appreciation we have for ourselves and other around us, the more respect and appreciation will come our way.
The reverse is also true, it means that if we are not respecting or appreciating ourselves, it can be hard  to truly respect and appreciate others ~ just as it can be hard for others to show respect for us. After all, if we feel we aren’t worth it, why would they say we are?

And if the manner in which we respect and appreciate ourselves is mirrored into the world outside of ourselves ~ the question becomes who would you ask for the respect and appreciation?
Because if we truly respect and appreciate ourselves, there is no need for the acknowledgement ~ even though it is both nice to give and nice to receive.
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Restless

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There is a sense of restless movement in the air...
People and pets are milling around ~ moving for the sake of movement ~ without an apparent purpose. An indecisiveness that seems to be all-pervasive. In traffic people signal to go left, only to change their mind at the last minute and turn right.
As for me ~ I have dressed up to brave the cold in order to go grocery shopping, keys in hand twice now; only to look outside and decide that I can get by for at least another day...

It is an energy that invites to start things without having the sustenance to actually get them done. And if we go with that invitation we consequently end up with any number of tasks and chores that we have started without having finished them ~ perhaps even leaving us in a less structured state than we would wish to be.

Come to think of it, that may well be the reason for this restless energy.

This is a time in which things are changing.
In its simplest form this means that ‘doing the same old things in the same old way’ doesn’t work any more. The time and the energy support new ways of doing things. Perhaps even doing new things.
Yet, left to our own devices, chances are we wouldn’t start looking at those new ways and new things. It would be more likely that we would just keep doing the things we have been doing for a while in the same way we have always been doing them. So we need some kind of instigation that relaxes the structure of our lives just enough to permit us to see that there is more...
More things to do ~ perhaps. More ways of doing the things we want to do ~ definitely!

So suddenly, rather than turning left, we turn right ~ taking a different route, going to a different grocery store, or even start doing something different than we set out to do entirely. And while that may not make sense to those around us in traffic ~ at that time it makes perfect sense to us!
Going to do the grocery shopping and changing our minds at the last minute ~ for whatever the reason ~ is just something that happens as we flow with this restless energy.

While we move around restlessly, we may see or think of a couple of things we would like to change... Changing the way the furniture is arranged, or the color paint on the walls ~ or even the things we (have to) do.
And as we may not have the drive to actually do that yet, the plan is slowly emerging.
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All we ever need to know...

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In the energy of today intuition is becoming more and more important to an ever growing number of people. It seems that more and more people are searching for ways to enhance their awareness ~ not just of the physical world around them, but also of the unseen.

There are a wide variety of things unseen, and a lot of them are not ‘airy fairy’ at all. Like emotions, thinking patterns, attitudes, opinions ~ all things that are part of our normal every day lives. Most of them are easier distinguished on an intuitive level than from a purely logical perspective.
All we need to do to get that little bit of information is to be still and listen to what our own intuition has to tell us about it ~ something that may take a couple of minutes when we start listening to our intuition, yet can become a flow of just a couple of seconds as we get more used to the process.
And through listening to our own intuitive selves we can obtain information we need to know...

As we get more and more adept at that process of listening to our intuitive selves, it is only a small step to start listening to our High Selves, that part of us that has an even higher frequency than our intuitive selves. And it often has information that is tied to our personal paths, our life lessons ~ even the karmic situations we may encounter as we live our lives.
It can give us the insights we need to solve problems we may have. It can point us in a direction that will work out for us ~ it can guide us to be at the right place at the right time.
And perhaps most importantly, it can show us what we need to know to solve issues that concern the ‘Temple of the Soul’, our physical selves.

All we ever need to know is right there...
Of course that doesn’t mean that we need to know exactly how the heart functions ~ sometimes the information that is given can be ‘go see a doctor’; ‘go see a cardiologist’.
But other times the information may be something like staying away from certain elements in your diet, doing more ~ or less ~ physical exercise, adjust your posture, or even buying a new mattress.
Because the information can be widely varied, and totally unexpected ~ it behooves us to listen without any preconceived ideas. With an absolutely open mind.
And to take whatever information we get listening to our High Selves at face value.

Since within our Selves is all we ever need to know!
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In an ideal world...

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In an ideal world, there would be peace.
In an ideal world, there would not be any hunger.
In an ideal world, there would be no poverty.

There is no start of a sentence that prompts us to think more globally than that one: ‘In an ideal world...’

And of course all of those statements are true. Hunger, poverty and war would all cease to exist in an ideal world. The danger is that in coming up with those ‘biggies’ ~ those truly global issues ~ is that it is easy to forget what is right around the corner...

As long as we are looking at at those issues as ‘out there’, it is hard to see what ~ if any ~ is our part in it. As long as it is ‘out there’, there doesn’t seem to be anything we, as just one individual, can do about it. So every once in a while it is good to see what an ideal world would look like within ourselves and in our direct environments. The ideal world that we can actually affect...

So, what would your ideal world look like?

As a child, most of us wanted to become something noble and / or heroic when we grew up. Something like a fireman, policeman, teacher, doctor... Granted, in an ideal world there are only jobs for so many policemen. Yet sometimes it is good to look back and see what you wanted to become ‘when you grew up’. What were your hopes and dreams as a child?
And what has happened between that time way back when, and today?

Now I am not saying that we should still endeavor the things we wanted when we were children necessarily, however as a child ~ not burdened by ‘having to make ends meet’, or ‘having a job that pays the bills’, mortgages, car payments etc. ~ we may well have had a clearer picture of what our ideal world would look like when we grew up. Therefore recapturing some of the hopes and dreams we had as a child can help us see clearly what our lives would look like in an ideal world...

And we may come up with statements like:
In an ideal world, I wouldn’t be so stressed.
In an ideal world, I would have a truly fulfilling job.
In an ideal world, I would be traveling more.

The funny thing is that as we would resolve the stressful issues in our lives, as we would work toward that truly fulfilling job, that perhaps even allows us to travel more ~ in other words as our personal lives come closer to what we perceive to be ‘our ideal world’ ~ it has a positive effect on the big global issues.

Even in our perhaps ‘not yet totally ideal world’ that is how the energy flows...
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A New Melody

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Have you noticed that there seems to be a new vibration, perhaps even a new rhythm to the energy? Very subtly changes seem to be creeping in ~ pushing aside the old and bringing the new forward.

Suddenly, without even thinking twice about it, we may find ourselves making decisions that we have been pushing aside for a long time. Or we start being more active, or perhaps taking more time to smell the roses. It is almost as if these changes come from a place deep down inside ourselves with hardly any logical thought involved at all.

And bit by bit as we allow these changes to take place, we are building a new structure for ourselves. We are permitting a new rhythm to emerge. A new rhythm to do our chores, a new rhythm to do our job, a new rhythm to our times of rest. In short a new rhythm to our lives! And that new rhythm sets us up to do new things ~ perhaps even the things we always wanted to do (but never did).

As it is with changes in energy ~ it is up to us how we handle them. Whether we jump in with both feet and enjoy the new energies as a new adventure on our path. Or whether we fight the changes until we can no longer deny them and have to deal with them one way or another.
So, some may heave a sigh of relief that this new rhythm is finally here, while to others it feels like an upset to their energies, to their lives as ever so steadily the newness takes over and perhaps even demands newness in us.
New lines of thought. New directions. New ways of life.

Chances are these changes are here to stay and it is up to us to feel their vibration, to notice their rhythm and to find the melody that bridges that rhythm to our personal lives and our individual paths...
That new melody may well be written in a new scale, and therefore be dis-harmonic to our ears at first. After a while though, when the new rhythm and new melody merge more fully ~ we may find ourselves dancing a new dance.

Getting used to the new melody and the new dance, we may step on some toes... In return we may find that others as they are getting used to their new melodies, trample our toes...
Yet pretty soon we will get the hang of it and can fully enjoy the new music and the new dance.

I can feel the new vibration, the new rhythm...
And I am listening for that new melody...
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First, do no harm...

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Although commonly thought to be part of the Hippocratic Oath is actually not a precise part of it ~ although it is implied. The closest approximation for the source of the sentence is the Hippocratic Corpus. Yet one thing is clear, part of the ethics that people in the medical field have been learning for the last 2000 years or so is to first, do no harm.
To just do those things that are good, or beneficial to the patient.

This little tidbit came to mind when I discovered that one of my favorite series on TV has disappeared from the TV-guide and in its place a double whammy of “House” is now being shown. The main character in that series is Dr. House, a genius when it comes to getting to a diagnosis ~ but that ‘first, do no harm’ idea doesn’t seem to be anchored in his mode of operation all that solidly.

Perhaps that is just a ‘sign of the times’. Something that is changing in this point of time...
And not just in the series on TV, but also in real life.

Because somehow that little statement seems to hold a lot of common sense.
When you are going to town with friends ~ first, do no harm. Don’t damage other people’s property.
When in school ~ first, do no harm. Don’t bully other kids.
When communicating ~ first, do no harm. Don’t gossip. Don’t spread the word on anything you know is not true, or anything you not sure if it is true. Don’t judge.

First, do no harm.

Wouldn’t life look so much better if that was the creed we all lived by?
It would imply that things like stealing, cheating, etc. would not occur anymore. And neither would vandalism. Graffiti might still exist, yet only in dedicated areas ~ it would become an art form rather than vandalism. I would think that communication would gain in clarity and be a lot more productive. Probably a lot more positive as well.
And politics... It would be quite interesting how that would look when politicians adopted the creed.

From whichever side you look at it; whether it is part of the Hippocratic Oath or just something that is somewhat sideways implied ~ the ancient Greek physician had it right: first, do no harm.
And now, well over 2000 years later ~ it is still sound advice, not only in medicine, Hippocrates’ field of expertise; but in life in general.

It’s a good creed to start the New Year with! First, do no harm.
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Welcoming the New...

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Where I live the last ten days of the year turn out to be a curious mixture of celebrations.

It starts with the Winter Solstice. The shortest day; the longest night ~ and as such the point of the return of the light. From that point on the days will be a little longer each day, even though it will usually take another two to three weeks before you can really see that difference...

The next celebration is Christmas. The celebration of the return of the Light; a totally different Light, more a Light that has the ability to bring clarity and inner guidance. A Light that in and of itself has nothing to do with the lengthening of the days, although some may say that it returned to lengthen our days on earth...

And then, a few days later it is New Year’s Eve. The time when we let go of the old and welcome in the new. And this is customarily done with a huge amount of fireworks. On one hand I truly don’t care for all the noise that goes with the fireworks; and yet I can appreciate the more shamanic perspective of making a lot of noise when something as important as leaving all that is old behind and welcoming in the new occurs.
The noise is said to scare away all that is bad, and call in all that is good ~ beneficial ~ into this space at this specific time: Midnight.

Then, six days later there is a little ‘after the facts’ celebration of the time when the three sages ~ guided by that star ~ came to visit and honor the newborn Christ-child. It is an acknowledgement that the new is here to stay. It is also the time that each next day is noticeably longer than the last.
It is at that time that our New Year’s resolutions solidify ~ so it becomes clear whether we are going to make them come true or whether they just sounded good, yet were made without true conviction.

So, from different era’s, from different perspectives, even different belief-systems there is an accumulation of celebrations that ~ when put together ~ only have one purpose: to welcome the New. The New Year. But also a new clarity, a new cycle, a new energy, new plans and resolutions. It puts us in a position to choose a new direction, a new way, while at the same time it provides us with a point in time in which we can leave the old behind.
It gives us the opportunity to start over, with new perspectives, new clarity, and new Light.

Happy New Year!
Happy New You!!
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