Best intentions

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We all want the very best; not just for ourselves, but also for those we care about. Our children, our families, partners, friends… So whenever we take action to make something good happen for them, we do so with the very best intentions.

And yet, every once in a while that doesn’t work quite the way we had in mind.

The human thing to do, is to project that which we feel is best for us unto the lives of those we aim to help.

And this can be something fairly inconsequential like preparing the favorite dish ~ which might turn out to be our own favorite dish other than their favorite dish. Or showing the other person the best way to do something, slightly different from the way they are doing it; with no perceptible difference in the final result. Yet it can also be more major; like pushing our child to study, while the child really does want to work with his/her hands ~ to learn a trade.
Another way our best intentions may sort of backfire is through our definitions of success. When to us success involves a high paid job, a big house, and an expensive car, we may ~ with the best intentions ~ wish that for those we care about. Yet they may have their own, totally different way of defining success…

The list is endless. The more we intend to help those we care about, the more often we may find that our best intentions are different from what that other person desires, or even needs.

There are however several ways to circumvent this.
First and foremost, when we have the intention to help, we may wan tot ask the other person how we can best be of assistance. How can we help? And even when we would have done things differently, to help in that manner which the other person perceives as most helpful at that moment.
Another way is to ‘walk a mile in the other person’s shoes’. To release our own need to be helpful or even ‘right’; to truly seek out where the other person is coming from, and where they are headed.
And when we have a fairly good understanding as to the perceived best way to help from the other person’s perspective, only then do we jump in to help. With all our good intentions.

Yet the most certain way to truly help those we care about, is pretty much to support them in whatever they are setting out to do, the way they are doing just that. To be their soft place to fall when things go wrong.
And to never come with those dreaded words: “I told you so.”
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