Lost

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There are many ways in which we can get lost. The most simple manner is to just not knowing the way to where we are headed; missing the road signs, losing directions ~ and there you are; somewhere entirely different than you had in mind when you started out.
Another way to get lost is when we loose track of a line of thought, or even a the explanation of something. When it gets to be too involved, we get lost in something that we either don’t quite understand, or may not be all that interested in…

However, the most lost I have felt in a long time has nothing to do with either one of the above.
It was when a long time project was nearing its end. It had taken years of my time, not necessarily in any organized fashion. It had been more like solving one problem after another as they came up. On many occasions I just dropped everything I was doing in order to keep track of whatever was happening at that time.

And then came that first day when there was nothing left to do.

One might think it would feel like a happy time. After all, the project was finished and I could be proud to have given it everything. And yet, the only thing I felt was lost.
Nothing left to do; nowhere left to go.

Not on the ~ now finished ~ project; nor on my own stuff. The things I always so enjoy doing.

It felt like I was standing in a wide open space, with absolutely nothing around me. No sun, no moon; no differences in color, no breeze… No bright light, no shadows, and no darkness. No guidance. No directions. Just space.

Like a new beginning that lacks any roots, any foundation; nothing to start building upon. And as it turns out, without any clues as to what to begin anew with.
No inspiration, no key, no path that I could choose to embark on. No desire to do anything at all.

Lost.

I guess this happens after any project that we have given a good part of our energy and time. Once it is finished there is that space where no plans are made yet. A sort of in between that which is finished and that which is yet to start.

It is not a bad place to take a deep breath, before embarking upon a new adventure. Then again, it is not a good place to get stuck; to dwell upon the past.
Yet whether we move on quickly, or take our time before we make new plans and start our new beginning ~ eventually we will find ourselves finding new direction, making new plans, and embarking upon new adventures.
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