Burning the candle on both ends...

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It is a descriptive saying ~ burning the candle on both ends ~ and the pictures that come to mind are not good on a multitude of levels...
For starters, if a candle is burning on both ends, it cannot stand upright; it would need to be horizontal; laying down. Definitely not the natural position for a candle. And burning while laying down, either end will burn faster than it would while the candle is upright, as the wax will flow away as soon as it melts... The wick would then get longer and longer, eventually burning the surface the candle is laying upon ~ on both ends. In this picture it could quickly become a fire hazard!

So let’s compare that to the situation that may occur in our lives ~ when we are too busy and not taking care of ourselves as well as we should.

It is hard to see what the beginning is. Somewhat of an ‘chicken and egg’ situation, really. Does it start with the desire (or the sense of obligation) to do even more in one day ~ effectively lighting the can on both ends? Or does it start with falling over ~ or maybe being pushed over ~ giving access to the wick of the candle on both ends?
Either way, as soon as we overextend ourselves this much, our energy cannot function in the manner it was meant to. It falls over. It starts blocking the natural flow of itself, allowing productivity and creativity to fritter away on either side.

It is that situation where you go out to do your grocery shopping and come back with everything that looked appealing in the store, except the things you are out of in your pantry. And when you go back to quickly pick them up, you get waylaid and may or may not return with them ~ beating yourself up because it was what you set out to do in the first place. Twice.

In a sense you find yourself ‘putting out fires’ all around you ~ and while you may feel you are succeeding and those around you are even happy with your efforts ~ pretty soon you may find that your life is on fire...
Things aren’t working anymore; sometimes quite literally as the energy around you can get so frenzied that light bulbs burst or electrical appliances stop working...
And if that isn’t enough to get your attention, the next thing might be something a lot closer, a lot more physical.

Whether you look at it in a literal sense or as a saying that can apply to your life ~ burning the candle on both ends is a bad idea! We would do better just choosing one end ~ one priority ~ and run with it...
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Monkey See, Monkey Do

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According to Wikipedia, ‘monkey see, monkey do’ is a saying that originated in Jamaica in the early 18th century and popped up in American culture in the early 1920s. The saying refers to the learning of a process without an understanding of why it works.
‘A good example is the best teacher’ is another one of those sayings that seem to aim at the same thing.

And while it is true that when we see others getting something done that we would like to do ourselves ~ we can learn how to do it through the process of observation; the caveat is that just seeing how something is done, or just observing the ‘good example’ without having the understanding of what it is about is unlikely to help anyone in the long run...

In other words, leading by example or teaching by example will only grow corn if those that are lead understand what they are lead to, and those that are taught understand what they are taught.

So first one has to understand what he would like to learn, before he can be taught through example and productively observe how it is done...

This means that, as with so many things, there are steps to follow even when leading or teaching through example:

• The goal has to be clear ~ both from a perspective of what the goal is, and why it is important.
• The example has to be set ~ and that is something that is something that is not only shown at the class or job-site, it has to be something that is ‘part of life’ of the teacher or leader.
• The example has to be followed with the understanding as to what it will lead to.
• Those following the example will have to discover its worth in their own lives or jobs ~ the example has to be beneficial to them.
• Finally, those following the example will need ‘to run with it’ and, now that they understand how they can reach their goal in this manner bring the example and their unique way of doing things in line so it can work even better for them.

From a shamanic point of view, the rabbit is an interesting animal to work with to take yourself through these steps, as the rabbit has a tendency to keep asking: “Why?”

Teacher: “Let me show you how it is done”
Rabbit: “Why?”
Teacher: “Because then you can learn something from it.”
Rabbit: “Why?”
Teacher: “Because it can be done way more efficient.”
Rabbit: “So what! That is not necessarily a good reason why.”

Only when ‘it’ is explained and understood as to what, where, when, and why ~ it makes sense to show how through example.

I bet it even takes all of that before monkeys start doing what they see...
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Personal Space

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Personal space is one of those things that can have many definitions, and yet is a key concept in our lives ~ in the mundane world as well as from a spiritual perspective.

Personal space can be a room that is yours, and yours alone. It can be your physical body, or the space you maintain around you to feel comfortable. It can be a space you visit in meditations, it can be an energy more than an actual space even...
In any one of these perspectives on ‘personal space’, it is linked to things like privacy, respect and boundaries.

The mere fact that the space is considered ‘personal’ assumes a certain level of privacy. Not because whatever is there is something you are hiding from the world ~ the fact that it is your personal space makes it yours and yours alone, and that means that others are only permitted to enter when invited!

If your personal space is of a meditative nature, others won’t know how to get there ~ keeping your special place very private and personal.

And as long as the personal space is an actual space, a room, that privacy is guarded by clear boundaries. And as long as those around you respect those boundaries (and your privacy), your personal space is secure.

When your personal space is defined by an energy, the boundaries are not always as clearly set...

It is not always easy to keep your energy around you as your personal space in a balanced way ~ and one way or another ‘respect’ becomes even more a part of the picture. And not just the respect others may or may not have for you / your personal space ~ also the respect you have for yourself and your space!

Do you respect yourself enough to permit your energy to stand around you, balanced, wherever you go?
Do you respect yourself enough to set your boundaries?
Do you respect yourself enough to make your needs and desires known to those around you?

Once you respect yourself and your space, the chances of others respecting you and your space increase exponentially ~ and with that the privacy of your personal space is enhanced.

Fact of the matter is that unless you keep your personal space under lock and key ~ you can never totally prevent others from barging in (and even then ~ sometimes a space kept under lock and key is even more vulnerable...)
It is good to remember though, that when you have done everything you can do in terms of respecting yourself and your space, the fact that someone still may cross your boundaries is not because you are doing something ‘wrong’ ~ it is because they are making a choice to do so...
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Change of Plans

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When I am thinking of changes, more often than not what comes to mind are changes that might be needed in my life, or even within me ~ like changes in perspectives or attitudes. Hardly ever do I think of a ‘change of plans’.

That to me is interesting as the ‘change of plans’ may well be the most common change that happens in our lives! Especially in the energy of this point in time...

These changes of plans can be as minor as suddenly deciding to take a different route home from work ~ or something like going to the supermarket now rather than tomorrow. But they can also be as drastic as booking a ‘last minute ticket’ to leave tonight for a week of sunshine in the middle of Winter.
And yet, we don’t view those changes with the same resistance we may look at changes in ourselves or in our life-style. We are more apt to find that the changes in our plans are a spontaneous expression of ourselves that can bring a bit of adventure into our lives. Making changes in our plans allows us to break free from the routine of our everyday lives...

As we get used to the fact that we can change our plans ‘midstream’ ~ and that it usually will work out for us ~ bit by bit the rest of our lives start changing.
Suddenly we permit the changes that we may have resisted for so long to come into our lives, and take effect a bit more each time we allow ourselves a ‘change of plans’.

The reason why this works is that as we get used to changing our plans ~ even ‘midstream’ or ‘last minute’ ~ we become more flexible. The things we want to do; how and when we want to do them gets to be less ‘set in concrete’. We become more willing to let the flow of things work for us rather than against our ‘set-in-concrete-plans’.
This also means that the greater our flexibility becomes, the more chances the Universe has to provide for us the things we need in our lives. Whether that is more time to spend with family or friends ~ or more money so we can finally do all those things we have wanted to do for all our lives and never had the funds to make them happen...

There is but one caveat in accepting that the ‘change of plans’ is a good thing... While we can enjoy the flexibility that ‘going with the flow’ gives us, there are things that just need to be done...
But as long as we can stay balanced, changing our plans when we feel like it, and sticking to them when we need to ~ we may find that life gets to be happier, easier, and more fun!
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The things we have learned...

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Of the things we have learned that we decide to live by, there are not that many that we use exactly the way we were taught way back when...

Take reading and writing.
I was taught those with simple words, simple stories ~ that even at the time didn’t really hold my interest. The interesting part was the fact that with each day I got more proficient in expressing myself through the written word. And of course the fact that pretty soon I could read the stories that did hold my interest on my own.

In other words, as I was taught to read and to write, it was the ability to do so that made me very happy as the child I was at the time ~ and as the adult I am now!
Yet the use of that ability is very different now than it was then. I have made the ability my own, and in doing so I use it in my own way...

Along the way I was taught how to make jewelry and became a goldsmith.
I also learned how to work with energy ~ and I discovered that everything holds its own, unique energy. And pretty soon I merged these two abilities as I recognized the energy of stones, the energy of metals, the energy of shapes, and yes, the energy of the person placing an order ~ and used them to create very special pieces of jewelry. My Mystical Jewelry.

This shows what makes the things we learn truly useful on our path through life...
When we learn something, and then take that further. Shaping and molding it into something that is uniquely ours. And then using it to express our innermost thoughts and feelings...

While this is a creative process, it is not at all limited to the arts like painting, sculpting, or music for that matter.
The truth of the mater is that each and everyone of us are creative beings ~ and we are using our own, special, and very individual creativity in our own way ~ in that aspect of our lives that holds most interest to us. In other words, there is creativity in gardening, in business, in communication, even in doing your weekly grocery shopping...

Ultimately it is not about what it is you learned ~ or were taught ~ that you have claimed as an ability; or even through what aspect of your life you choose to express it...
It is about recognizing the fact that any or all of the things you have learned can be your abilities. They are yours to claim and to use in new and creative ways that help you on your personal (spiritual) path through life.
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Learning and Living

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Throughout our lives we learn a great many things... This may start with learning how to say ‘Mommy’ when we are very young, and as time progresses we learn more and more things. Like behaving in a certain manner ~ what we need to do to get it our way...

Then as we reach the age that we go to school, we learn how to interact with others ~ how to play together, and bit by bit we begin to comprehend how we can express ourselves. And with that we may begin to see the value of things like reading, writing and arithmetic ~ the ‘three R’s’.

At some point there are things we need to learn, not because they are of interest to us or would help us on our personal path through life ~ but more because if we don’t we probably would fail our final High School exams. And while those things can be useful at some point in our future, we may find as we  move along our personal path that they are not quite as valuable to us as they were made out to be when we were taught.

Even things we set out to learn because they truly interest us may turn out to be fun while we are doing research about it, taking classes on the topic ~ as soon as the classes come to a completion, in spite of all our good intentions and initial enthusiasm, we drop it...

The question is why? Why do we start things, learn things ~ only to drop them as we have mastered them?

Looking at how this works for me, the answer is simple: I will only keep using those things that bring an added value to my everyday life.

So, let’s take another look...
Reading, writing and arithmetic ~ yes, I use those a lot! They’re definitely worth keeping around. Looking at behavior I have learned I find I have to be more discerning. Some of the behavior I have learned along the way permits me to behave within the perimeters of social acceptability, and as such are helping me in life ~ while other patterns of behavior are not quite as useful to me; even to the point of having the desire to ‘un-learn’ them.

This principle even holds true for spiritual teachings. Independent of the value of the teachings themselves ~ when they are approached as ‘a really interesting couple of hours every other week’ without becoming a part of our day-to-day lives, they may end up on the ‘they are not helping me’-pile. On the other hand, when we take those same spiritual teachings and start to incorporate them into our every-day lives ~ when we start living by them ~ chances are they will gain importance for us throughout our lives.
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Winds Of Change

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Today blustery winds are raging through the streets. And while the temperatures are above normal for this time of the year, it seems a gentle breeze is blowing inside ~ coming in through the cat-door and moving out through the slightly open window upstairs...

The wind, like the other elements, can change things.
It may not be quite as immediately obvious as changes brought on by the other elements ~ the changes can be vast nonetheless. The changes created by the other elements, like earth quakes and land slides; flooding and the changing flow of rivers; or the desolate remains after a fire has burned itself out ~ first and foremost are physical changes.

The changes brought on by air, by the wind, take some time to create a physical effect... Yet, after years of weathering the wind from one direction, even pine trees will bend to its force. The wind creates and breaks down sand dunes ~ and given time, can create large, room-like caverns in the rocks.

From a spiritual perspective the air-element is related to our mind, to our thinking.
That makes the ‘winds of change’ a mental occurrence as much as it having a physical effect. It means that the wind ~ the movement of air ~ has the capacity to shift our thinking. To bring about new perspectives ~ even give us new insights.

With new insights, ‘a breath of fresh air’ may come in that, as it gathers momentum may result in a ‘brain-storm’. And pretty soon new ideas start piling up. Different ways of doing the same old chores. New paths to the goals we have set for ourselves. Fresh ideas on how to explain that concept that you couldn’t get across before. That which was ‘set in concrete’ in our thinking, suddenly has room for flexibility.

And when the wind abates, chances are we see a ‘new world’ around us ~ not as much because of the physical changes in that world; perhaps more because we see what is there with ‘new eyes’.

Somehow, the fact that something like the wind can create such enormous changes in our lives, makes that most of us have mixed feelings about the stormy weather. Being human, usually means that we are not very fond of changes. After all, ‘if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it’.
On the other hand, being outdoors in the stormy weather ~ even finding a place where you can be alone, and can scream to the wind around you ~ can give us a great sense of freedom. As if a weight has been lifted off our shoulders.

Again, from a spiritual perspective, we may want to seek out those windy days so that the weather can help us bringing the changes into our lives that are going to help us move forward on our path...
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Twenty Years From Now

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Yesterday I found an old vinyl record, a ‘single’. It was a Kenny Rogers song named ‘Twenty Years From Now’ that came out in 1987. My boyfriend at the time had written a little note on the cover. He also noted on the label of the disc the year 2007.

I tried to play the record, but the vinyl was scratched beyond repair. And as I sat there, reading the note, looking at the hearts drawn on the label ~ slowly the memories came back of that day in July of 1987 when I was given the record. At the time it meant a promise. It was meant to tell me that twenty years from that day, we’d sit somewhere ~ maybe at some cafe downtown, enjoying the sun ~ sharing the memories of what live had been like twenty years ago... What we had been doing at the time. And reminisce about all the changes that would have happened since then...

As it turned out, that relationship lasted about two more years before I had had enough.

Nevertheless, looking at this record I start to look back at those Summer days in 1987. Him and I had been co-workers before I moved on to another job. Shortly after that he changed jobs too... And what started as a friendship between two people with common interests ~ mostly in outdoor type events ~ fairly soon began to wear thin on me; until shortly after my birthday I returned his keys and all of his stuff to his apartment and firmly shut the door behind me.

We both moved on.

I had seen him in town a couple of times over the years. I even met his new girlfriend ~ a nice lady who shared his love for motor cycles.
I totally forgot about the record and the promise to look back together on those twenty years...
Come the ‘magical year’ of 2007 he had passed on.

Yet, I can’t help myself thinking “What if...”
What if we would have stayed together? What would my life have looked like in 2007?

Would I still have been touring on my motorbike?
Would I have ever taken that trip to France to go ‘para-ascending’ ~ using a parachute to actually fly on the air currents in the mountains ~ that I really wanted to take and never did?
Would I have traveled as much as I have since?

Probably not ~ on all three counts.

But right as I put the damaged record back into its sleeve, one curious thing comes to mind...
In 2007 a mutual friend of way back when called me out of the blue, asking me how we were doing and if we felt coming along on a trip to France...
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