Monday, February 17, 2014

How we remember things

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When we think of our memories, we will find that we have ‘good’ memories and ‘bad’ memories. What makes a memory either good or bad often has to do with how we perceived the situation we are remembering at the time. And unless we revisit our memories every once in a while, we will keep experiencing that situation we are remembering as if it is happening to us just now. Except, suddenly we are back in time; back at the age we were then.

For instance, we may have felt it was the ultimate putdown when we were not allowed as a five year old, to eat a cookie right before dinner. Remembering that very situation even as an adult may spark an indignation that ~ when you look at the facts of that situation way back when ~ is totally unwarranted.

It seems like what we remember is not necessarily the facts of what happened way back when; what we remember are the emotions associated with that situation as we experienced it the age we were at that time.
In other words, our memories are in essence emotional in nature, and the emotion will then bring the situation to mind…

What that tells us is that there are types of situations that can spark an emotional response, and when this happens we are put in the frame of mind of an often much younger version of ourselves.

This is both good news and bad news.
On one hand it means that the way we remember things can bring us back into an emotion and a frame of mind that may have been understandable at that time, but that don’t serve us anymore as the person we are at this point in  time. On the other hand, once we understand how we remember things ~ how it remembering things works ~ we can choose to revisit those memories in oder to see what really happened, and how valid our emotional response to it is.

This may seem to be a small thing, however, it gives us the opportunity to let go of things that keep popping up in our lives ~ often at unexpected and inopportune times. And once we disconnect our emotional responses from the factual situations we remember, we will gain a freedom in our lives. A freedom in how we react, interact, and respond to situations and people we encounter on our path through life.

Apart from understanding how we remember things, it only requires one thing from us. The desire to find a way to make our lives easier, and more fun…
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