Tuesday, May 5, 2015

Expression

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The Dutch language has a saying that implicates that the way we express ourselves tells a lot about how we feel and what we think about ourselves. That it may even give us hints as to what is going on with ourselves from a health perspective.

Basically it says that if we keep complaining about what is going on in our lives, we are in truth complaining about (an aspect of) our own lives. When we express that whatever is going on in life is ‘hard for us to stomach’, chances are that we suffer from a an upset stomach more often than others would. That when we fail to stick to our guns, we may cave to other people’s opinions; often in order to be a likable person, rather than living the life we have always dreamed about.

Perhaps the most famous word in any language that is telling on how we live our lives, is the word ‘but’. Of course it has a place and time to be used properly, however, the more we use that word, the more likely we are to come up with excuses for ourselves ~ and perhaps also for others ~ to not having to do the things we consider hard, difficult, or perhaps just uninteresting.
Rather than just saying, ‘No, I don’t feel like doing that right now’, we say ‘I would if I could but I can’t’. It often has nothing to do with an inability to do whatever it is that has come up…

Another word to be weary of, come to think of it, is ‘I can’t’.
Every time we express ourselves in a negative like ‘I can’t’, we are shortchanging ourselves. We are making ourselves less than we truly are. And of course there are things that we don’t know how to do in life. When we encounter one of those we can choose to learn to do it, or decide not to.

This way, listening to the manner in which we express ourselves becomes an interesting ~ and telling ~ exercise in who we are… For instance…
How often do we use the word ‘but’ in a day?
How often do we say ‘I can’t’, when in reality we mean to say ‘I don’t want to’?
Do our opinions leave enough space for the other person to live their lives the way they see fit, or do we express them as judgements?

The list can go on.
And ultimately the question becomes: “What is it in my life I don’t like, don’t want to do, or feel bad enough about to judge it?”
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