What other people think of us

A surprising amount of the things we do we base on what other people tell us to do, on what is important to other people, or even on what we think other people would expect us to do. Doing the things we think, other people think would make us a ‘good person’.
Sounds convoluted?
And yet, here we are.

In one sense it is an instinctual choice we make in order to belong to a certain (family)group or ‘tribe’; something that was important up to, say, a hundred years ago. Only if we belonged to a group, our safety could be guaranteed. Therefore the only way to thrive was within that group or ‘tribe’.

We, as humanity, have gained a lot of personal freedom since those days. And while we still have a long way to go, our individual choices are considered valid. And not only that, the more we follow our own path independent from what other people think of us, the more we are praised for being ‘authentic’ and ‘original’.
Up to a point; if we would cross that next line, we suddenly are deemed eccentric.
But so what?

There is less and less a reason why we would create ourselves and our lives in an image of what we think other people will want to see ~ although by the same token, whatever that image is, there are bound to be people who are not going to like it. Even be vocal about it, for instance on social media.

This makes the whole concept of doing what we think other people think is best for us an interesting standard for our choices in life. Because now we can ask ourselves whether doing something in a certain way ~ or even doing it at all ~ is worth is from an individual perspective. Or whether we are happier, or better off, stepping ‘out of bounds’ on this one?
Do we want to fit the profile? Do we stay in the fold? Or are we letting our uniqueness shine?

Apart from that I heard someone make the argument some time ago that we probably should not base the things we do on what (we think) other people think of us, as chances are we wouldn’t be doing a whole lot. Other people may not be thinking of us, of what we are doing, a whole lot…

Most people are perfectly happy minding their own business, without giving much thought on whether they approve or disapprove of how we are living our lives.

So it is time to start doing our own thing, according to our own value system. To become the one-of-a-kind person we are, and to let our uniqueness shine!
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