Friday, April 11, 2014

Help coming your way

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Are you one of those people who choose to do pretty much everything themselves? Or would you rather ask for help every step of the way? Whether you are at the first or the second end of the spectrum; in time we all get into a situation that help is being offered no matter what we do or say. The question then becomes whether we are glad that help is coming our way, or if by any chance we are fearing the result of the help that is so kindly being offered…

Because not everybody has the ability to help another person in the way that person needs to be helped. All too often do we help in such a way that we feel would work best for us ~ instead of looking at it from the perspective of the other person that we feel needs our help.
The result can be a situation that is not being experienced as ‘help’ at all. It is a shuffle of things that in time will need to be reshuffled again. As such, help can be something that strikes fear in the hearts of the most brave people. People who dare do anything and take on everything can be brought down by  the thought of being helped in such a way they perceive as going backward.

It is a concept that shows how both helping another person, as well as being the person who accepts the help coming their way is hardly ever as straight forward as it seems. And it can amount to a situation where all those involved feel being unappreciated.

It seems that the key to both helping as well as accepting the help that is being offered lies in totally letting go of our judgement call of how something would be done best, and instead to ask how the other person best can be helped. Very often the other person has a reason to do things a certain way; to organize things in a certain manner. It is not just to be stubborn or even mean-spirited ~ it most likely is because the ultimate result will make them happy…

Sometimes the best way to help is by simply listen to the other person telling you about all the things that are going on. Or to make a pot of tea. Or to be encouraging. While other times some ‘let’s go make it happen-work’ is needed to help get the other person back on track.

Similarly, for the person asking for help at the drop of a hat, it might be best to help them by not picking up the slack but rather by letting them sort it out on their own ~ something that may result in a great sense of accomplishment and self esteem…

So, when help is coming your way, just realize that whichever side you are on, there is nothing simple about it!
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